[And just like that, Diluc's own petulant anger fades as he finally understands what it is he's being told.
The immediate aftermath of his father's death and the death of Barok's brother are not at all the same in details, but they share the same beats of anger, action, and realizing later that the action taken was incorrected and damaging. The emotional need to do something to make the pain lesser is what drove Barok to ignore the obvious, and it likewise drove Diluc to draw steel and nearly kill the man he had called "brother" up until that point. It wasn't until much, much later that he even thought to question why Kaeya had confessed his sins that night in the rain. And even now, it's difficult to imagine an answer that's not 'in order to hurt me.'
More devastating, however, are the times in which the answer he imagines is 'so I would put him out of his own misery.'
He knows, deep in his heart, that Kaeya is his blind spot. The "doubt in his circumstances," as van Zieks had put it, unsure in any given moment if he's being too hard on him or too soft. It's easier, mentally and emotionally, to focus his attention on the Fatui and on the Knights' incompetence. But one way or another, he knows he can't keep running from the issue forever.
Given that his once-adoptive brother is not here, there's not much he can do either way. So he'll have to remain with the status quo for now.]
I know kind words often pale in the face of that sort of experience, but... I'm sorry. Truly.
[He sets his tea cup down with a soft sigh.]
I'll keep your counsel in mind. I... I'm doing the best that I can.
hey look they match
The immediate aftermath of his father's death and the death of Barok's brother are not at all the same in details, but they share the same beats of anger, action, and realizing later that the action taken was incorrected and damaging. The emotional need to do something to make the pain lesser is what drove Barok to ignore the obvious, and it likewise drove Diluc to draw steel and nearly kill the man he had called "brother" up until that point. It wasn't until much, much later that he even thought to question why Kaeya had confessed his sins that night in the rain. And even now, it's difficult to imagine an answer that's not 'in order to hurt me.'
More devastating, however, are the times in which the answer he imagines is 'so I would put him out of his own misery.'
He knows, deep in his heart, that Kaeya is his blind spot. The "doubt in his circumstances," as van Zieks had put it, unsure in any given moment if he's being too hard on him or too soft. It's easier, mentally and emotionally, to focus his attention on the Fatui and on the Knights' incompetence. But one way or another, he knows he can't keep running from the issue forever.
Given that his once-adoptive brother is not here, there's not much he can do either way. So he'll have to remain with the status quo for now.]
I know kind words often pale in the face of that sort of experience, but... I'm sorry. Truly.
[He sets his tea cup down with a soft sigh.]
I'll keep your counsel in mind. I... I'm doing the best that I can.