dreamcrystals | Dream One 🔥 Unhappy Memories

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Dream One 🔥 Unhappy Memories

Sender: Diluc Ragnvindr
To: Everyone
Subject: Passive dream recording
Warnings: spoilers for Genshin Impact character stories and webtoon; cw: blood, violence, and death

[The beginning events of the dream happen quickly. A large purple drake descends on a cart and wagon, leaving naught but carnage in its wake. A man with more than a passing resemblence to Diluc emerges from from the wagon, standing against the drake and attacking it with a great and terrible power. Within moments, the beast is ensnared with dark chains. A few moments later, it breaks free and retreats, and the man collapses.

It's at this point that Diluc himself becomes visible in the dream, huddled over the man's body and covered with blood that's not his own. He's younger, a late adolescent, and calls the man "father" as he cries out in grief. The rain starts pouring down, though it does little to wash the stains of red away.

Nearby, a flamboyantly dressed man regards him cooly.]

"You know, Master Diluc, I can't help but wonder if your anger about all this might be a bit misplaced."

[Slowly, Diluc's gaze rises from his father's corpse to look up at him. His expression almost immediately shifts into a sharp glare. The man continues to speak, totally unfazed.]

"You blame the Fatui and the Knights - and me by association - but have you stopped to consider that perhaps it's our dearest father that betrayed you first? You honestly don't believe he accepted this Delusion at the point of a sword or under the duress of a threat, do you?"

[Diluc is on his feet in an instant, grabbing a sword that by all rights shouldn't be there and charging him.]

Take that back!

[He's stopped after only a handful of steps by the same great and terrible power that stopped the drake's advance, this time piercing him through from behind.

At that point, the dream ends as its dreamer wakes up with a start.]

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[Diluc, still sitting in his bed half under the covers, just stares at Ori's unexpected mode of arrival. How did she...?

Actually, nevermind. She's a being of magic, and he's not in the mood to question the limits of her abilities right now. After shaking his head to clear it, he gets out of the bed in earnest to go greet her.]

It actually isn't that urgent, Ori. It was just a nightmare.

[ It occurs to her, upon seeing him still in his bed, that she might have acted too hastily. But it's too late to go back now, and he's already gotten out of bed. ]

Still, a nightmare is a nightmare... and you helped me wake up from mine.

[ She could do no such thing from him. The only thing she can do is be here for him now. And to that end, she moves towards him and does the first thing that came to her mind as soon as the vision of his nightmare ended - which is to pull him into her arms for a comforting embrace. ]

[Um.

This isn't what he expected when he invited her over. He thought she would put on tea, give him some flowers, maybe insist on giving him something to eat. Not a gentle embrace meant to comfort and soothe. The effort is wasted on him, he believes, and he squirms a little uncomfortably in response to it. He's walked these feelings off before, and he's able to do so again. There's no need to coddle him about it.]

I told you, Ori. I'm fine. This...

[He sighs, the end of his thought drifting away before he can complete it. And he allows himself to relax into her hug a little. So that she doesn't worry about him that much more.]

Thank you.

[ Unfortunately for Diluc, Ori is quite accustomed to trying to hug people who react to them much in the same manner as he does; she has witnessed the pain of many of the friends that he'd seen in her nightmare, and just as many similarly go rigid and uncomfortable at her gestures of affection and support. She only wishes that she didn't have to count Diluc among them, now.

She squeezes him a bit tighter when she can sense him ease into it a bit, and says quietly, ]

You must have been so young... what a terrible thing to shoulder from such a young age. I'm so sorry.

[ She doesn't entirely understand the nuances of all that she saw, nor does she know how much of it was memory and how much of it was a corruption of it - a feeling he also must have experienced when he walked into her nightmare not all that long ago - but she doesn't need a complete understanding to know that he must have been in so much pain— no, how he must be in so much pain. Her hand reaches up and gently combs through the length of his hair in another, repeating, soothing motion. ]

I was eighteen.

[He declines to mention that all of this happened on his eighteenth birthday. She's already far more worried about him than she needs to be, and he's certain that detail would upset her further. His history isn't her burden to bear, and he refuses to let her shoulder any more of it than she absolutely insists. If that means keeping details out of the narrative, then so be it.]

It was four years ago, and I've had time to accept it for what it was. [Sort of.] I appreciate your concern, but there's no purpose in wallowing in it.

[The petting of his hair is a step too far for him, tender and comforting in a way that he's not emotionally prepared for, and he's back to trying to squirm free.]

[ She pulls away easily as she notices him start to squirm - this much is par for the course, too, with how people typically respond to her - and she steps away with an apologetic look. Ori wants to give him space, but she also wants him to know that he doesn't have to bear his burdens alone, and more often than not she forgets that not everyone is ready to 'hug it out.'

Four years, though... her expression falls right back into concern. Four years doesn't sound like a long time at all, especially not for something as traumatizing as what she'd seen in his nightmare, especially not having seen the way Diluc grieved over his father, especially not having seen the exchange between him and his... brother? ]

You were eighteen, but you were still a teenager, Diluc. And four years since then... that's not a very long time.

[ She sighs. ]

I'm not asking you to wallow in it. But it's okay to feel like you're not fine.

[Her insistence cuts deeper than he'd care to admit, and he feels himself getting further and further on edge. She's right; he's not fine. He hasn't been fine in years. But he hasn't had a choice but to act as if he is. He can't afford to falter. Not in Mondstadt, and not here.

Looking at her face as she looks at him with such concern in those amber eyes, however, makes him almost want to.

He shakes his head and sighs, looking away and leaving her last statement to hang in the air between them for several moments. In that silence, he thinks about how they're more alike than one would assume at first glance, both having lost and suffered greatly. And he marvels at how she manages to remain warm and caring and open despite it all. This is a woman who approached him, a cranky stranger, with a smile and an offer for tea and company. One who never hesitates to help where she's needed. One whose flowers bloom with brightness and joy.

Such strength of spirit is well beyond him, and his heart aches at the thought.]

Well, now you better understand why things are the way they are.

[That's as close to a concession as he's able to give.]

I imagine you have some questions about what you saw. I don't mind answering them for you.

[ Ori remains warm and caring and open despite it all because it's all she has. Apart from Valphi, all of her life, Ori's affinity and bond with nature and the woods has been the only thing that has shown her any measure of true kindness and care. And nature gives - and so Ori does, too.

She didn't have a place to call home, or even a place to return to. She didn't have anything she wanted to protect, except for her own family and friends. Many would argue she no longer has her family - and at times, it's hard not to believe that. But believing in the good of others and caring for them and using the powers she has been given by the elements to this end is all she has. And because of that, she believes— no, knows that Diluc has so much more in him than this grief and loss and the burdens he bears as a result of it all. She's seen it in the fond ways he's spoken of his vineyards and of his home, in the way he's always so careful and considerate, in the way he held and hid her away from the flames of her nightmare.

She does understand why things are the way they are.

But do they have to be? ]

I do, but...

[ She doesn't want him to be answering her questions as a matter of clarification. He wants him to share - and that goes beyond him just answering her questions. But perhaps it's a start, for Diluc. She doesn't want to overstep his boundaries. So she takes her seat at his table - the same that she always takes when she spends time with him here. ]

The man with blue hair... is that your brother?

[Thankfully, Ori follows his lead on how this conversation needs to go from here on out. For his own peace of mind, it's easier to focus on the details than it is his feelings about them--or about her, for that matter.

Her first question is about what he expected. She has a sister with whom relations have totally deteriorated, so it makes sense that the detail she focuses in on is Kaeya. Sighing softly, he takes his usual seat across from her and runs his hands through his hair in vain attempt to get it out of his face.]

He was.

His name is Kaeya. My father adopted him into our family when we were both young, and we grew up together.

[He hesitates before getting into the details of how their relationship suddenly shattered. It's a secret he's kept these past four years, not breathing a word of it to anyone despite the fact that he really, really should for the good of Mondstadt. Even now, where the information means hardly anything, speaking of it feels like some sort of betrayal.

Which makes no sense, but his feelings often don't. Especially when it comes to his erstwhile brother.]

The day my father died, he told me he was planted in Mondstadt as a spy for his homeland. I... didn't take the news well.

[Which is a kind euphemism for "I nearly killed him."]

[ There's an urge, when he sees him run his hands through his hair, to brush it out of his face for him. But she remembers that she'd already overstepped just moments ago, so ultimately she refrains, instead folding her arms on top of the table as she listens to what he has to say.

In the back of her mind, Ori tries to picture the younger Diluc she'd seen in the lantern's transmission, along with his father and a younger version of the blue-haired man she'd seen. She pictures them in the vineyards he's described to her before; perhaps there had been a time in their youth where their brotherhood was a happy one. Ori hopes for as much, for Diluc's sake. Though her and Valphi's childhoods were similarly marred by bitter moments and ultimately by diverging paths in life, Ori's most precious memories include those moments when she and her sister were truly a family.

But what she hears Diluc describe sounds more complicated than a falling out between siblings, more than just drifting apart over time. What he speaks of sounds like a betrayal. She leans forward, trying to catch Diluc's gaze with hers. Her expression remains unchanged; she's worried and it shows. ]

That must have hurt, to hear him say that.

[ She won't ask him exactly what happened. She has an inkling of it based on his deliberate choice to leave his words open-ended. But she'll share something of her own, if only to convey to him that he's very much not alone at least in his feelings regarding estranged siblings. ]

Things are... tense between my sister and I, too. But it wasn't always like that. We were really close when we were younger.

[Through pointed effort, Ori re-establishes eye contact between them. She looks no less concerned for him. Diluc sighs and crosses his arms--of course she's concerned for him. She understands what happened in that dream better than most, even if she doesn't know much of the context.]

It did, especially after... all of that. [She knows. He doesn't have to say it, and judging from the way a hand tightens into the fabric of his sleeve he doesn't want to.] Afterward, there was a coverup by the Knights of Favonius--those in charge of Mondstadt. I left that same day, and was gone for three years.

[There's more to it, of course, but that would require an explanation of Visions, Archons, Delusions, and the Fatui. He's far too tired to give such extensive lessons on Teyvat right now.

Ori mentions her sister, and Diluc is all right following her lead to that subject rather than his own history.]

Valphi was her name, if I recall? I never said as much after your own nightmare, but you have my condolences. It's difficult to lose a sibling in such a manner, still alive but not who you know or want her to be. Doubly so, knowing that you were once close.

[Just as he and Kaeya once were.]

[ Her lips pull further into a frown when he explains the Knights of Favonius' coverup of the incident; she remembers that he had been a Knight, himself, and left over "idealistic differences". So Diluc had lost his father, his brother, and his cause, all in succession of each other.

Ori's hand rises and then rests on her chest, as though that would quell the aching and twisting she feels in her heart for him, and her fingers curl around the fabric of her clothing as they proceed to talk about her own sibling.

Though she doesn't know the complete circumstances between Diluc and his brother's fallout, Ori feels as though there's a difference in how she feels about how she and Val drifted apart— in that she's never once felt betrayed by Valphi, even after all she's done. All she feels is that she's completely failed Valphi, as her older sister. That her lack of conviction and courage had been the very reason that Val made the decisions that she had. ]

We lost our parents when we were very little - I only have the faintest memories of them... But Val and I still had each other, growing up, and I thought... we were going to be alright. Even after we decided to go our separate ways and pursue different things. I didn't realize that my leaving would...

[ ... lead to everything Diluc had seen in her nightmare. ]

[Conversely, Diluc believes that what happened between him and Kaeya is the lesser tragedy when compared to Ori and her sister. The betrayal stings, yes, but they've settled into something of a pattern of dancing around each other and occasionally butting heads. Kaeya is a liar and a pest, but he's never openly opposed him or Mondstadt as a whole like Valphi seems to have.

At least, not yet. But Diluc would prefer not to think about what it would mean if those circumstances ever change.]

You cannot control who people are and what they do, even those closest and dearest to you. It's a lesson I've had to learn the hard way.

[It's not a conclusion he's come to happily. But it is what it is.]

Whoever she turned into after you left isn't your fault, Ori.

I understand that...

[ Not a convincing response by any means, but it's all she can offer at the moment. He isn't the first to tell her that Valphi's actions are not Ori's doing - that her sister has made those choices of her own will. That it's not as though it had been Ori herself who had summoned a dragon to wreak havoc on Duskvale. She's heard all of this, and she knows all of this, on a logical level.

But still, she can't help but feel like things might have been different if she could have just been more. More present for her sister. Stronger. Wiser. Just more.

Her hand falls away from her chest as she folds her arms instead, hunching her shoulders into herself a bit. Her expression is at once apologetic and sympathetic when she finally looks at him again. ]

I'm sorry. I came here to check on you, and here I am talking about myself instead.

I just wanted you to know... that you're not alone, okay?

[Diluc hears the uncertainty in her response and doesn't interrogate it. How many times has he been told that his father's death isn't his fault? And how many times has he responded with the same tone? His inability to act in a way that could have prevented everything is still not something he's forgiven himself for. He's a hypocrite at times, and he knows that, but he's not so much of one that he expects Ori to make an emotional leap that he himself can't manage.

He has no such qualms, however, about shutting down her tendency to apologize for her own feelings.]

We're both reeling from our respective nightmares. Yours was only a few days ago; of course it's still on your mind.

[A long pause follows as he considers his next words--or, more accurately, he considers the action to take as he speaks them. Eventually, he decides that he's overthinking it and pulls her in for a hug.]

I know. And neither are you.

[After a few moments, he releases her.]

That said... I would like some time by myself to process things, if that's all right.

[ The very moment that his arms wrap around her, she finds herself clutching at him, returning his embrace almost desperately. Spirits, she needs this - more than she would have ever admitted, and she is silently thankful for the way that Diluc somehow seems to know just what it is that she needs in this moment. Under her breath, she mutters his name, ]

Diluc...

[ and tightens her arms around him just once more before they pull away. In spite of the way that he normally carries himself, Diluc has time and time again shown her nothing but a steadfast, gentle kindness, and she cannot help but feel that same sense of safety and comfort in his presence that she's recently been reminded of now that she and Thoma have... reconciled? Reunited?

She isn't sure what to make of the fact that when she hears his request, she realizes that she wants to stay and continue to find that safety and comfort in him, instead. Ori looks very much like she isn't sure what to do with herself as she steps away nods. ]

Right— of course, that's fine. Take all of the time that you need. You.. well, you know how to reach me or find me if you need me.

[ And she gives him a small smile before she turns around and actually uses the door this time, rather than conjuring a portal. It might do her some good to get some fresh air, even if the weather continues to be less than conducive to a leisurely walk in the middle of the night. Before she leaves entirely, though, she turns towards his closed door one last time and cups her hands together, where dreamotion coalesces and finds form in a bundle of flowers, which she leaves hanging on his doorknob. Later, he'll receive a note in his journal. ]

Poppies symbolize remembrance, and as do forget-me-nots. Like a promise that you will always keep those who have been lost in your thoughts. Chamomiles are for patience and rest.

I hope that you will be kind to yourself as the day goes on.

Oriphi

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Dream One 🔥 Unhappy Memories

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