She isn't sure why, but just hearing it hurts. A part of her doesn't want to acknowledge it at all. A part of her wants to simply pretend she's never heard it. But she wasn't so different when it came to Dohalim's feelings. She suspects she's beginning to understand why she has this approach, however.
She is afraid that her disappointing those around her is inevitable. She will, at some point, let them down. Hasn't she done that already? She certainly didn't think to shield Trahearne and Oriphi from Eustace. And she couldn't even protect the others. Grand General Beatrix, so easily throttled.
Humiliating, really.
Beatrix frowns for several long moments and when Oriphi speaks up again, she pointedly looks aside, lifting her arm to dust fingertips over her cheek.]
You should not say such things. You should not extend such courtesies.
[But she can't control that, can she. And she shouldn't say things like that. It shouldn't even be any of her business. What does it matter what Oriphi does or doesn't do? For all she wants to be emotionally detached, she can't be. In one way or another, those here in this world have found their ways into Beatrix's ever icy heart.
Once, she felt so certain of herself. And now, she is nothing except uncertain.]
no subject
She isn't sure why, but just hearing it hurts. A part of her doesn't want to acknowledge it at all. A part of her wants to simply pretend she's never heard it. But she wasn't so different when it came to Dohalim's feelings. She suspects she's beginning to understand why she has this approach, however.
She is afraid that her disappointing those around her is inevitable. She will, at some point, let them down. Hasn't she done that already? She certainly didn't think to shield Trahearne and Oriphi from Eustace. And she couldn't even protect the others. Grand General Beatrix, so easily throttled.
Humiliating, really.
Beatrix frowns for several long moments and when Oriphi speaks up again, she pointedly looks aside, lifting her arm to dust fingertips over her cheek.]
You should not say such things. You should not extend such courtesies.
[But she can't control that, can she. And she shouldn't say things like that. It shouldn't even be any of her business. What does it matter what Oriphi does or doesn't do? For all she wants to be emotionally detached, she can't be. In one way or another, those here in this world have found their ways into Beatrix's ever icy heart.
Once, she felt so certain of herself. And now, she is nothing except uncertain.]