[How can she know for sure? How long had she been following Brahne? Initially, it had been without question. Even in Burmecia, she had been uncertain, but still willing. In Cleyra, she finally really started to question it all.]
I am not certain there is a way to tell. I know that I am not the same person I was before coming here. I know that as things are now, I cannot ever return to that person I was before. Protecting the Alexandros line is not just about guarding them from threats, from fighting their wars for them that they may not have to. It is about protecting the people they lead. Protecting those who will follow. I have no interest in being a warmonger. In these pursuits of conquest. I only want to protect the people I care for.
[Even as she says it, she can feel how true and solid the words are in her bones. In her desires. Has she ever wanted anything more than that? Perhaps not. When he continues, she offers him something of an uncertain nod. He's right. She did make mention of it before. Why are his circumstances any different from her own? Is it because she expects better of herself? Imperfection is fine for one Dohalim il Qaras, but not for herself?]
I suppose how I perceive myself is very different from how I perceive you. Or others, for that matter. It may not be an easy thing for me to forgive in general, but it is easier to do when it comes from someone else who is not me. Perhaps we are all like that. I never sought forgiveness for what happened in Burmecia, or what followed after. I would never ask for it. My interests are not in atonement. But one day, it would be nice if I could help with my hands, instead of destroy.
no subject
[How can she know for sure? How long had she been following Brahne? Initially, it had been without question. Even in Burmecia, she had been uncertain, but still willing. In Cleyra, she finally really started to question it all.]
I am not certain there is a way to tell. I know that I am not the same person I was before coming here. I know that as things are now, I cannot ever return to that person I was before. Protecting the Alexandros line is not just about guarding them from threats, from fighting their wars for them that they may not have to. It is about protecting the people they lead. Protecting those who will follow. I have no interest in being a warmonger. In these pursuits of conquest. I only want to protect the people I care for.
[Even as she says it, she can feel how true and solid the words are in her bones. In her desires. Has she ever wanted anything more than that? Perhaps not. When he continues, she offers him something of an uncertain nod. He's right. She did make mention of it before. Why are his circumstances any different from her own? Is it because she expects better of herself? Imperfection is fine for one Dohalim il Qaras, but not for herself?]
I suppose how I perceive myself is very different from how I perceive you. Or others, for that matter. It may not be an easy thing for me to forgive in general, but it is easier to do when it comes from someone else who is not me. Perhaps we are all like that. I never sought forgiveness for what happened in Burmecia, or what followed after. I would never ask for it. My interests are not in atonement. But one day, it would be nice if I could help with my hands, instead of destroy.