dreamcrystals

From: Kazuki Kurusu
To: Everyone
Subject: [ this field unintentionally left blank ]

[ Whatever starts appearing in the journals looks a little messy. No, the writer is not drunk. They're upset. They're weepy, they're having A Time. ]

We left in October but got here in July... and now it's four months later and it's November here and back home, it's... That means today... today would be our daughter's birthday, AGAIN. And because of the time difference... It means I missed it TWICE! Our daughter's fifth birthday!! TWICE!! The FIRST one we would have spent together, and I'm not even THERE! Not there to make her THE BEST CAKE EVER, and decorate the house, and celebrate! I don't know how I'll ever make it up to her, she'll never get that I missed it two times... Wait. WAIT. does that mean she's two years older now?? My baby is growing up without me?! No WAY! Soon she'll be dating that little CREEP and then getting married and -

[ if someone were around the tree house Kazuki resides in, they would hear a pained shriek, followed by HE BETTER STAY AWAY WHILE WE'RE ASLEEP. It, in fact, disturbs some of the birds in the branches nearby, and they fly out of the tree at the sudden noise. Oops. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ he is not feeding her french toast every day, which is the biggest thing she would want ]

I mean you have a point but... Still seems like I should have managed something by now!

And how am I supposed to enjoy myself without her?! She would love it here. And hell, I know I'd like it a lot more! Our family deserves to be together.

[ oh yes, he is crying about his family not being together. like a weenie ]

Edited 2023-11-10 23:51 (UTC)

[But it's part of a healthy breakfast! Just gotta add some fruit to it since it's got protein in the egg.]

Then keep beating yourself up over it. It likely won't get you anywhere.

And quit acting like you're the only one who misses their kid! You're starting to sound like you're in need of a support group. I'm sure there's plenty of families that have been separated due to being here. I know I miss mine.

[He sympathizes, really. Perhaps a little too much.]

[ but then you douse it in syrup and any benefits from egg, fruit, milk, whatever, it's gone! Gone! Also this is Kazuki, he is #1 at beating himself up about stuff, pointlessly or not, so thanks, he will!! ]

Look, I'm sorry, for what it's worth. I know I'm not the only one in this situation. Just... it's complicated, alright? Both of us - that is, her parents - are stuck here. Not knowing how she is drives me crazy. If anything happens to her I don't know what I'm gonna do.

[ he tried so hard for so long to not let it bother him, but then this birthday shit just hit him like a ton of bricks. ]

Edited (awkward line break) 2023-11-12 12:50 (UTC)

[That's when you cut back elsewhere! Limit desserts and such. Only that probably wouldn't go over well. Hm. Kazuki certainly is good at freak outs, Yato has to admit. He's got them down pat.]

Trust me, I feel the same way. My boy is isn't super young, but he needs support and guidance that he can't get from anyone else and with me stuck here I worry what'll become of him. Kids are vulnerable. We want to be there for them, even when logically we can't. We just have to make the best of it.

[Since he only just got here, Yato can only imagine what he'll be like in a few months time away from Yukine.]

What's her name? Your daughter.

[ Kazuki is not the dessert fiend in the house, it's the other two - it's just that his success at keeping down the sugar is not very high. Also he's a pushover and will do just about anything for that kid of his.

It's also kinda appreciated to talk to someone who is in a similar boat but can at least keep calm about this. All that shit goes out the window so easily for Kazuki in general, and especially when it comes to his daughter.]

Her name is Miri. In my case, there's nothing that I can teach her that no one else can, but...

[Sometimes you have to pick your battles and have a bit of leeway if you want to make them happy, though if he also has trouble saying no at other times, it could become a problem.

For his part, Yato understands all too well the desire to be together with one's child. Though it probably also helps that he's been around long enough to see it in a more rational light and not let himself get wrapped up in his emotions. (Not over this matter, anyway.)]

Miri, huh. That's a pretty name. But yeah, I get you. You still want to be there for her. To make sure she's safe and taken care of. To show her that you love her.

[He's the same, even if having a teenager means there's more bickering and fighting than outright affection being shown.]

Her early years were kinda rough.
And this is my first time being a dad. So I don't wanna mess things up...

[ there are so many issues packaged behind these few words, ones that Kazuki won't ever say to anyone he just met in passing. But the fact remains is that he wants to be the best dad he can be, but has absolutely no experience of being or having a father himself. Maybe that's why he's so protective and concerned. Er, actually, that's definitely why he's those things. ]

I feel you there. But you have to realize that no matter how hard you try, you're bound to make mistakes. What's important is that you learn from them so that you don't repeat them.

Not that falling asleep and ending up here is something you can be blamed for.

[The best Yato can hope to do is get Kazuki to see that beating himself up over how things are turning out won't improve the situation. And that even if he is missing one of his daughter's birthdays, there will be plenty of others. She's still young.]

I mean I get that. It's not like I'm not trying. but I don't want all of that to go to waste because we got separated. She deserves way more than that, especially from me.

It's hardly a waste if you keep doing your best. And I'm willing to bet you'll wake up back safe and sound with her eventually. You can't sleep forever.

[He hopes. Dreams can seem long for what is a relatively short time in actuality.]

[ this dude is making a frustrated, whiny noise irl with his face pressed against the journal, this is so, so infuriating. Being stuck here and just wanting to see his baby so bad

finally... ]

You're probably not wrong, but it still sucks...

Yeah, can't argue with you there. You should just try to keep busy. She wouldn't want you stressing over her, I'm sure.

Do you know if there are any other parents here? It might do you good to talk with them.

There's only so many dreamboard things you can do when you can barely use dreamotion, but trust me, I've been doing what I can to keep my mind off of this shit. Haven't been looking for other parents though. Not a bad idea there.

Have you thought about asking for lessons in using dreamotion? There seems to be plenty of people who'd be happy to tutor you in it.

And if you find any other parents, we could start a group that gets together from time to time to share stories about our kids. Most parents love gushing about them to others, heh.

Had some lesson but I don't think it's really my thing.

[ putting it mildly. though he could use more practice. Still. Sucks to practice when you are bad at it. ]

I like the parent idea. Moms love to chat at the daycare back home. Guess it'd be the same anywhere - gossiping about your baby is universal, you're right!

Nothing wrong with that. We can't be good at everything.

[He can sympathize. Magic is one of those skills he's never had an affinity for himself.]

Now you're getting it! There's bound to be others like us out there. And even if there's not, I'm sure other people are missing their loved ones just the same.

I'll definitely get the idea out there.
See if there's any takers. No self-respecting parent would pass up the chance!

I gotta say... thanks for this idea.

I'll be keeping an eye out to see how it goes. I'm interested in finding out if there's any others, too!

Heh~ No problem! That's what gods are for.

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