Either? Both? Only you can truly awnser that, young one. Acceptance is good enough sometimes, I think. I too have accepted I am who I am now, even if I do not always like that person.

[Somewhat of an understatement, since he can genuinely say he hates himself most of the time. But he has come to accept that too.]

It is still a fresh wound for you, I suspect. One that has had little time to heal with all the rest you have had to focus on. It will come in time. Do not try to rush it or you will end up doing yourself more harm than good.