dreamcrystals | Entry 001

[Ever since his arrival, Jude's treated the journal like the handy phones from home, the reason why he's kept his messages informal while maintaining a casual but polite tone through his correspondences. This case, however, he mulls it over first. So breaking it down...

Kazuma Asogi is issuing a public apology, which is a clear demonstration of conscience and remorse, even if that alone can't fully prove his intent. But Jude still believes it to be genuine, and doesn't consider at all in entertaining the opposite. If anything, it's all the proof he needs to think of Kazuma as a good (he may be stretching the word) and reasonable person, and gives him all the more reason to reach out. It's also amply clear that these two men antagonize each other, 'Barok van Zieks' and 'Kazuma Asogi`: there's something irreconcilable between them, and Barok had directly admitted in his entry that Kazuma became possessed in front of his very eyes. This seems to lend credence to the possibility of an emotional trigger, an outside source, which is a note he'll be actively penning down in his personal notes on the side. But if emotions really are as powerful as he was led to believe, and Noctaere are literal creatures of nightmares, then... Is Kazuma really okay? Suppressing the symptoms isn't the same as curing an ailment, there seems to be both a physical and psychological component to all this too. It's going to be complicated either way, that's his gut feeling so far.

It is so that after some deliberation, he sends over what's worded more like a letter than a text message in neat handwriting:]

Hello, M. Asogi. My name is Jude Mathis. While I did not formally work as a medical doctor back in my world, I do have medical experience and have completed my degree. I'm currently researching for means of suppressing and treating Noctaere possession, I'm also concerned about how you're doing after undergoing that ordeal. May I ask you more questions, or more ideally, see you in person?

[Honest and to the point, perhaps even too candid of his part. But that's the best approach, he thinks, he's also doubtful that Kazuma may have fully recovered already. The infected is just as much of a victim as others they could've hurt in their path, so making his intentions clear and prioritizing the doctor's mission of treating everyone indiscriminately is the least that he could try doing.]

[...This message was written with a professional touch. The intent is put on the table, but he can't help but be wary of the message, not recognizing the person writing this.]

Credentials from another world don't mean much. Anyone can claim they're something in this world when we're all not from the same place. [So what's there for him to actually believe he wants to help, and not use the information for something malicious?]

[The skepticism is more than understandable, and he can't help but be vaguely reminded of Celsius. It doesn't discourage him, as the question is absolutely valid: how can he back up his conviction to a total stranger, in a world unfamiliar to them that can affect them in ways they never before thought to be possible?]

That's true. What can I do to prove my intention?

[Or maybe it's something he has to show result for first, walk his half of the way and wait before the other person can judge whether he was worth meeting there? It's a very real possibility, and one he's already mulling over even as he finishes penning his reply.

...He really needs to put together that plan for the clinic he's been considering since arrival. At least his dreamotion exercises were going well; all the corrupt toys within range of Healer were purified, last time he visited the tapir's special training dreamscape a few days ago.]

You said you've been doing research here. What do you have so far?

[If he's done some work here already as he claims, he can at least see if he can verify it.]

Not much, unfortunately. I arrived with the most recent group of newcomers around two weeks ago, then learned about Erasers and Noctaeres from M. 76, Eustace, and Nier’s warning entries shortly after. I have not pursued the Mutton Man, but I have read back through the journal entries and made notes of what I could summarize:

[Whether photocopying is a thing familiar to anyone following this exchange, it’s what essentially happens within the next few seconds: the notes appear one full block at a time, as if a camera has snapped several pictures of a different page (pages?) from some other source:]

[It's not good enough for peer review, Jude certainly didn't expect needing to show his personal memo to someone else so soon. But it's the least that he can offer in terms of current progress, and reminds him that he probably should ask the person who told him about most of this to double-check the basics in case he made any mistakes. Can't afford that, if he's to build off of this foundation.]

[...For someone who has only been here for a few weeks, this is already a decent collection of information, thorough. He's committed to this as he says. To even show his thoughts on the matter as well...]

I'll grant you asking me questions for now. [He can see where it goes from there to gauge the rest of his character.] You've covered most of what I had experienced out there. The creatures turned and went mad when they got close.

What's this about dispelling artes and spells though?

[Was it really enough? Suppose he should just be glad and move on; he can pick apart and better polish his own notes later, even if simplicity is a good policy.]

Thank you. Can I start by asking if you've ever felt similar to how you did when you became possessed, from your arrival to Songerein up to the day before it happened? And by creatures, are you referring to the local ones like the tapir? As for dispel, it's to cure physical and magical ailments, which can normally be treated by medicine or healing artes. In my home world, there are people who can offer their mana to the elemental spirits, and in exchange, they enable us to channel their power and cast spirit artes. Artes are used in every aspect of our lives, from fighting to healing to lighting up our homes. I don't have enough information to extrapolate if Noctaere possession could be likened to known ailments from my world, but if a dispelling arte was to be cast on the afflicted using dreamotion instead of mana, that could potentially affect the Noctaere in some way. It's a hypothesis I want to eventually test.

[Hopefully the explanation for how things worked for him back in his world was simple enough to follow along. Maybe it's a bit too much information, but Jude figures it's better to explain the foundation as it directly ties to the execution of his "best" idea so far.]

No. I couldn't have when the man who triggered it wasn't here prior. [Technically he had some emotional breakdowns, but they weren't related to anger and more personal guilt. He didn't really ask that though, did he? So he's keeping that detail to himself.] The wildlife. I didn't encounter any of the tapirs.

I think I grasp the general idea. Like purifying the corrupted energy. I don't think we have anything here that's equivalent to an elemental spirit, so I imagine it would depend on your own willpower against your opponent's to be effective. Dreams are volatile, it's strength driven by the individual in this world. Just knowing how to dispel may not be enough.

[So Kazuma himself confirms it's entirely related to that man. Whatever that happened between them...

...Is none of Jude's business. A doctor doesn't necessarily need to understand everything about the origin of a disease before they start searching for a cure. This is no different, so it won't matter either as long as that context can't directly contribute to the cause.]

Noted, thank you for clarifying. Yes, like that. Spirit channelling still works for me here, however, and I'm just one example. We're all from different worlds ruled by different laws, but we can still use abilities reliant on the very nature of our home world despite being outside of it. I know they stop working inside dreamscapes, but it still gives me hope because this opens up the possibility of mix and matching different systems of power inside Songerein. The broader our perspective, the wider our scope, and the more different things we try, the more likely we'll find something that works. I don't expect the effect to be significant either, but any result we can observe or measure would be helpful data at this stage. I have been wondering about emotional affinity, too: can opposing emotions be more effective at countering each other, i.e. love/hate, joy/sorrow, tranquility/rage? Familiarity with the afflicted may also create a stronger sense of empathy, and a friend who can successfully harness that feeling into dreamotion may be able to help them better on a personal level. Positive emotion and strong willpower are highly likely key for treatment, the trickier part is processing that into dreamotion and administering it to the possessed.

[Oh...He hadn't actually consider combining different abilities from other worlds. He's been more focus on just developing his own dreammotion abilities. Gets him thinking.]

Perhaps looking for someone from another world with similar purifying abilities may further strengthen it, or give it other traits.

Don't know how effective opposite emotions are, but I can say it is certainly effective when there's familiarity involved. It only becomes a challenge of reaching the individual when they're far too gone. I'm only one case though.

[Side-effect of always getting in trouble/thinking for ways out of it for other people's sake rather than your own, or something like that...]

Yes, that's another hypothesis I would like to try out. But going by what you've said so far, I can't help but feel like the quality of the dreamotion may be more important than the form it may take after being properly channelled. Both are crucial, of course, but like medicine, making it should be trickier than administering it. You may be one case, but from what we know so far, there's no ruling out that it can't happen to others. That makes anything you're willing to share all the more helpful, I'm sorry it's also putting you on the spot like this. Can you please tell me more about how you regained your sense of self? What being reached was like, and what you think was the main factor in helping you get there?

So a balance of both.

[At Jude's next inquiry, there's a long wait before there's an answer. He's likely not going to like this response or how short it is, but Kazuma doesn't feel comfortable or ready to fully get into the details.]

It's personal.

It may depend on a lot of other factors, too.

[Jude was expecting something on that line sooner or later, so there isn't much of a delay on his end.]

Alright. How were you feeling right after, and how are you feeling now?

[He's got an inkling he can already tell the answer to this one, but it's still worth a shot.]

Tired, hungry. I slept for an entire day after that. I've recovered for the most part. Just feeling a little feverish, likely what's leftover after setting everything on fire.

[...None of that sounds any reassuring, but it's information. And "setting everything on fire"? Is that really okay to drop just like that? He wants to ask, but the abilities of someone possessed by Noctaere isn't likely to be of any help with treatment. His goal isn't to subdue them through combat, after all.]

Did you consult someone with medical experience you trust? Or at least have someone helping you with your recovery, M. Asogi?

[He's starting to get an idea of what sort of person Kazuma is, and... Those are among the most difficult types of patient, hm...]

I do know someone with medical experience. [That he's admittedly keeping some details from as well.]

I haven't seen a reason to ask for further assistance at this moment. Besides a fever, I've been managing like usual.

[The answer is clipped and to the point, he pretty much expected as much.]

Alright. In summary, this happened to you because of a recent arrival you met. You eventually managed to regain your sense of self, and are currently recovering from the aftereffects. Is there anything you would like to add to that, M. Asogi?

[In hindsight, it may be easier to ask Kazuma what he was comfortable with divulging, rather than try asking anything too specific from Jude's end. This case of "illness" (if it can even be called that) is more complex than anything he's ever come across, it's admittedly something of a challenge too to hold back his curious and nosy nature when he can at least somewhat grasp the sensitive and deeply personal nature of this issue. And if something like this can happen to anyone...

...Nothing to do but work harder and make sure he gets progress, soon.]

[. . .]

Just that when I had changed, eventhough I had a clear goal, I also had this hunger for more nightmarish energy. I recall taking in a few beasts that had changed. Feeling under the weather is probably a result of that.

[Hunger? So he consumed nightmare energy while afflicted, perhaps to sustain and/or empower that state. Would it be premature to infer that somehow consuming a 'purer' sort of dreamotion energy would have the opposite effect? Where does this intake of nightmare energy go? If he had a goal, did the Noctaere possession actually help him to that cause? Is he really okay?

That answer feels like as much of a lead as it raises further questions and concerns. Nevertheless, it is information, and something he can work with.]

That's helpful, thank you. Shaping positive dreamotion energy and administering it without having to fight seems like the most logical counter to an influx of nightmare energy, I'll try working on how to do that and making the method usable for everyone.

[It's a little like his research from back home, like this. He should check out the mines again, see if there are crystals with good affinity/purity/density to imbue and store dreamotion in... But.]

Is Noctaere possession something you want to be freed from completely, M. Asogi, or if given the opportunity, a power you want to master and keep for yourself?

[There's a bit of a pause before more writing appears.]

While having that kind of power has it's uses, I rather be rid of it. Especially when there's a power here that isn't so harmful to the user. I've had enough experience dealing with something that one should not use, what it can do to a person.

[And yet, sometimes he cannot let go of the past. That strong desire for justice and revenge will always be there.]

That may inevitably be a fool's hope for me, and something I must live with. So I suppose, my one option is to learn how to be a master of it, instead of a victim to it.

[It may take a bit, but the writing is still there, quite literally so. Kazuma's made his intention clear, beyond doubt or uncertainty. Whatever that drew the Noctaere to him, whatever he wanted to accomplish, those may just be details in the big picture. Self-preservation is as valid a reason as anything else, in what makes up his own brand of resolve.]

Songerein is new to all of us, there's still a lot to discover. We've barely begun getting to know this world, it's far too early to give in. We'll find ways to help you and anyone else this may happen to, we just have to want to and keep trying. This is only the beginning.

[So he'll keep looking, this won't be the first time he takes it upon himself to spearhead research into a relatively unexplored field. He's got that experience to draw from, so idealistic as it may be, he'll do whatever he can to back it up.]

[...What a very optimistic outlook.]

I never said anything about giving up. [There's a difference! He just works with what he has now, what he already knows about himself.] I thank you for your words though. Until that time, it's still valuable to know how to live with it.

[More people may change before a proper solution arises.]

[It's worked out for him so far, and while effort and hard work may not always break through, he'll take his chances. At least then he'd have tried, and who knows, maybe whatever findings he ends up with along the way could be of help to someone else, in making a breakthrough for everyone once all's said and done? ...Kazuma's doing that in his own way too, isn't he?]

That's fair. Thank you for telling me everything you have too, M. Asogi, it's more than enough to get me started. Would you like to get updates, once I make some progress?

[If familiarity with the afflicted is also a significant factor in this, then he needs to revise his previous idea about the method and look into means that everyone can use. Ideally something that can take in and convert anyone's dreamotion, so... Hmm...]

I would appreciate it, thank you.

[And then it's going to turn out Kazuma will be the one dumping him more information over the former later this month-]

Of course. Thank you for telling me what you can about all this, too. It didn't sound like you were completely out of the woods just yet, so please take care and rest well, M. Asogi.

[It may be repeating ineffective platitudes with how little they can do about all this, but he can't help it. If Kazuma was in a state where he could allow himself to be seen by a healer, he would've done so already, probably(?). Jude'll just have to believe; in both of them, however long it'll be before progress starts showing.

...In a completely unexpected way, but maybe that's just on brand, considering how everything in Songerein can probably qualify as some flavor of "unexpected" or another. At least it'll provide the push needed to really get things started; won't be long after that for the aforementioned check-in-!]

Entry 001

Sender: Jude

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