Entry 001

[chippedsoul]

Sender: Kazuma Asogi
To: Everyone
Subject: Apology

A few days ago, a coward led some people uninvolved in the situation to confront me in the forest, despite being aware of how dangerous that was. I would like to take this moment to apologize to those that I've caused harm to. It was not my intent and that outburst won't happen again.

Locked To: Castmates Only
If you're worried I will come after the Prosecutor again, don't be. I have questions that need answers, not from that man.

Locked To: Soldier: 76
76. How are you doing? And are you available to meet?

Comments

[chippedsoul]

Tired, hungry. I slept for an entire day after that. I've recovered for the most part. Just feeling a little feverish, likely what's leftover after setting everything on fire.

[spryite]

[...None of that sounds any reassuring, but it's information. And "setting everything on fire"? Is that really okay to drop just like that? He wants to ask, but the abilities of someone possessed by Noctaere isn't likely to be of any help with treatment. His goal isn't to subdue them through combat, after all.]

Did you consult someone with medical experience you trust? Or at least have someone helping you with your recovery, M. Asogi?

[He's starting to get an idea of what sort of person Kazuma is, and... Those are among the most difficult types of patient, hm...]

[chippedsoul]

I do know someone with medical experience. [That he's admittedly keeping some details from as well.]

I haven't seen a reason to ask for further assistance at this moment. Besides a fever, I've been managing like usual.

[spryite]

[The answer is clipped and to the point, he pretty much expected as much.]

Alright. In summary, this happened to you because of a recent arrival you met. You eventually managed to regain your sense of self, and are currently recovering from the aftereffects. Is there anything you would like to add to that, M. Asogi?

[In hindsight, it may be easier to ask Kazuma what he was comfortable with divulging, rather than try asking anything too specific from Jude's end. This case of "illness" (if it can even be called that) is more complex than anything he's ever come across, it's admittedly something of a challenge too to hold back his curious and nosy nature when he can at least somewhat grasp the sensitive and deeply personal nature of this issue. And if something like this can happen to anyone...

...Nothing to do but work harder and make sure he gets progress, soon.]

[chippedsoul]

[. . .]

Just that when I had changed, eventhough I had a clear goal, I also had this hunger for more nightmarish energy. I recall taking in a few beasts that had changed. Feeling under the weather is probably a result of that.

[spryite]

[Hunger? So he consumed nightmare energy while afflicted, perhaps to sustain and/or empower that state. Would it be premature to infer that somehow consuming a 'purer' sort of dreamotion energy would have the opposite effect? Where does this intake of nightmare energy go? If he had a goal, did the Noctaere possession actually help him to that cause? Is he really okay?

That answer feels like as much of a lead as it raises further questions and concerns. Nevertheless, it is information, and something he can work with.]

That's helpful, thank you. Shaping positive dreamotion energy and administering it without having to fight seems like the most logical counter to an influx of nightmare energy, I'll try working on how to do that and making the method usable for everyone.

[It's a little like his research from back home, like this. He should check out the mines again, see if there are crystals with good affinity/purity/density to imbue and store dreamotion in... But.]

Is Noctaere possession something you want to be freed from completely, M. Asogi, or if given the opportunity, a power you want to master and keep for yourself?

[chippedsoul]

[There's a bit of a pause before more writing appears.]

While having that kind of power has it's uses, I rather be rid of it. Especially when there's a power here that isn't so harmful to the user. I've had enough experience dealing with something that one should not use, what it can do to a person.

[And yet, sometimes he cannot let go of the past. That strong desire for justice and revenge will always be there.]

That may inevitably be a fool's hope for me, and something I must live with. So I suppose, my one option is to learn how to be a master of it, instead of a victim to it.

[spryite]

[It may take a bit, but the writing is still there, quite literally so. Kazuma's made his intention clear, beyond doubt or uncertainty. Whatever that drew the Noctaere to him, whatever he wanted to accomplish, those may just be details in the big picture. Self-preservation is as valid a reason as anything else, in what makes up his own brand of resolve.]

Songerein is new to all of us, there's still a lot to discover. We've barely begun getting to know this world, it's far too early to give in. We'll find ways to help you and anyone else this may happen to, we just have to want to and keep trying. This is only the beginning.

[So he'll keep looking, this won't be the first time he takes it upon himself to spearhead research into a relatively unexplored field. He's got that experience to draw from, so idealistic as it may be, he'll do whatever he can to back it up.]

[chippedsoul]

[...What a very optimistic outlook.]

I never said anything about giving up. [There's a difference! He just works with what he has now, what he already knows about himself.] I thank you for your words though. Until that time, it's still valuable to know how to live with it.

[More people may change before a proper solution arises.]

[spryite]

[It's worked out for him so far, and while effort and hard work may not always break through, he'll take his chances. At least then he'd have tried, and who knows, maybe whatever findings he ends up with along the way could be of help to someone else, in making a breakthrough for everyone once all's said and done? ...Kazuma's doing that in his own way too, isn't he?]

That's fair. Thank you for telling me everything you have too, M. Asogi, it's more than enough to get me started. Would you like to get updates, once I make some progress?

[If familiarity with the afflicted is also a significant factor in this, then he needs to revise his previous idea about the method and look into means that everyone can use. Ideally something that can take in and convert anyone's dreamotion, so... Hmm...]

[chippedsoul]

I would appreciate it, thank you.

[And then it's going to turn out Kazuma will be the one dumping him more information over the former later this month-]

[spryite]

Of course. Thank you for telling me what you can about all this, too. It didn't sound like you were completely out of the woods just yet, so please take care and rest well, M. Asogi.

[It may be repeating ineffective platitudes with how little they can do about all this, but he can't help it. If Kazuma was in a state where he could allow himself to be seen by a healer, he would've done so already, probably(?). Jude'll just have to believe; in both of them, however long it'll be before progress starts showing.

...In a completely unexpected way, but maybe that's just on brand, considering how everything in Songerein can probably qualify as some flavor of "unexpected" or another. At least it'll provide the push needed to really get things started; won't be long after that for the aforementioned check-in-!]