Entry 001

[chippedsoul]

Sender: Kazuma Asogi
To: Everyone
Subject: Apology

A few days ago, a coward led some people uninvolved in the situation to confront me in the forest, despite being aware of how dangerous that was. I would like to take this moment to apologize to those that I've caused harm to. It was not my intent and that outburst won't happen again.

Locked To: Castmates Only
If you're worried I will come after the Prosecutor again, don't be. I have questions that need answers, not from that man.

Locked To: Soldier: 76
76. How are you doing? And are you available to meet?

Comments

[mychosenpath]

[He doesn't hover at the door but-- he doesn't stray far either. And he's too restless to sit or really... do anything else.

Ryunosuke is admittedly, a bit more tense than usual himself. There's an invisible pressure crackling around him, betraying how anxious and worried he feels. Though-- he's pretty sure Kazuma would know, even without him telling him. He certainly doesn't hide the way he scrutinizes Kazuma-- if he was hurt or not eating or sleeping right.]

...thanks for coming.

[chippedsoul]

. . .Feeling restless, Ryunosuke? [He be right to think Kazuma wouldn't notice his uneasiness. He'll let himself in once Ryunosuke greets him.]

I don't think it should come as much of a surprise why I went after Prosecutor Van Zieks.

[mychosenpath]

Well... yeah. Just a little. [Taking a deep breath to try and calm himself, he starts again.] I know why. I just... needed to make sure you were both okay.

[He knows it's not productive but... he sure feels responsible for not talking to Kazuma sooner. Maybe it hadn't felt right but-- he could have stopped people from getting hurt.] ...I'm sorry I wasn't here.

[chippedsoul]

...Well, I'm better off than he is. [Famous last words. Visibly there are no injuries on him though, and he's not walking with a limp.]

It's not your fault. [He assures him firmly.] I made my choice, and that's not anyone's responsibility.

[mychosenpath]

[Yeah, you know, not the most comforting thing he's ever heard for some reason.] I don't just mean physically. [Kazuma, at some point you knew we were gonna have to talk about feelings.] ...I know you. You have a clear advantage.

But with everything else you've had on your mind and the things you'll hear, even if you haven't yet... this incident stands to open a lot of wounds, old and new.

[chippedsoul]

[Ew feelings. He takes a deep breath, looking right at Ryunosuke.] I think it should be clear. I'm not the Kazuma Asogi you remember.

[He cared little for the consequences of his actions, or so he believed. Otherwise, 76 probably wouldn't have brought him back the deep end.] I've been away from home for nearly four years, Ryunosuke.

[mychosenpath]

[Sure Kazuma mentioned being somewhere else before this but... "for four years" seems like a pretty big detail to just. Leave out.

But at least this means Ryunosuke doesn't have to feel bad about being a bit brutal with his honesty.]

...if I'm entirely honest, then... no. It's not.

The same Kazuma Asogi I left behind in Britain was still struggling with the very same things. And considering all that you were left not knowing... it's not surprising that those four years weren't enough to help you make the progress you needed.

[chippedsoul]

What if I told you that what I struggled with, actually manifested? Became it's own being in that other world, and committed horrible atrocities?

[Ryunosuke has a point, but he doesn't know about that little nasty catch he had to deal with.]

[mychosenpath]

[Ryunosuke knows Kazuma wouldn't mess around with a subject this serious. And he's had time to see just what kinds of unusual things can occur here. But it still feels like a problem that's well beyond him.

...even so...]

I would ask what I can do to help.

Maybe things would have been different if I'd found you sooner. But there's no way of knowing that. I can't change the way things have played out or make up for all the time I wasn't there. But what kind of friend would I be, watching you sink to that kind of dark place without trying to pull you back out?

[chippedsoul]

. . . [He lets out some air that he had apparently been holding in.] That's just like you, to say something like that. [Does he feel he deserve even his best friend's help? Hard to say.]

Unfortunately, there are some things that can never be undone. [Once you've killed someone, you can't go back.] I'm not sure if there's anything you can do, but I can at least say, the misunderstanding has been cleared up.

[mychosenpath]

...no, I know that. [He's reflected on that a good amount himself. And remembering how hard it was to take that next step forward afterward is what makes him that much more certain of himself.] But even so... it's not too late. There's still a whole lot ahead of us.

Whatever lies ahead... whatever path you end up on... you aren't alone.

[chippedsoul]

[It's not too late. Can he really just walk the same path as the innocent, after everything? For just a second, his expression actually falters, betraying his confidence with doubt. It's clear he is unable to see how it's possible, but when his own best friend still insist...quietly.]

...Even when I've already taken lives, Ryunosuke? [He finally spells it out for him, letting him know the true severity of the dark path he's walked. He values their friendship, so much that he couldn't bring himself to keep dragging the bond they share while keeping such crimes hidden from him.]

[mychosenpath]

[To put it so plainly is only an affirmation of something Ryunosuke has suspected for some time now, following his encounter with the nightmare that haunted his best friend. It's no less hard to hear. But that also has something to do with the way his expression falters.]

Even still. [He nods. He wouldn't dare to undermine the severity of this situation. But at the same time, he can't pretend for a moment that he would be able to give any other answer. And he's fairly certain that he's no the only one.]

I believe you have the strength to overcome this. Maybe not on your own, but-- if you allow us to support you then I know you'll find your way back. That's just the kind of person you are.

[chippedsoul]

. . .Hah. [He closes his eyes, a moment to compose himself once more before he continues with a smile on his face.] You've come very far since those University days, Ryunosuke. Truly, I was right to believe you have the makings of a defense attorney.

[A nod.] You're right. I know I can, but...it's good to know I have the support of my best friend. [Just feels like this great weight has been lifted, his posture less tense than it was before.]

[mychosenpath]

Yeah well... I have a lot of people to thank for that. You included. [He chuckles softly.] If it weren't for you putting your faith in me... who knows where I would have been or what I would have ended up doing. It's kind of crazy to think about just how easily I could have ended up on a completely different path if it weren't for you when-- right now, I can't imagine wanting to be or do anything different.

[Until now, it hadn't really occurred to him, but maybe it was good to let Kazuma know just how grateful he was. Just like he didn't think much of what he was doing now-- it was quite possible that Kazuma didn't know just how much his support had meant to Ryunosuke in the past, or just how much it had done for him. And he can tell that this has had a positive effect on Kazuma too.]

But well... that's just what best friends do-- right? So... I'll always have your back. No matter what. You have my word.