dream: i need the rest of me

[darkcharge]

Sender: Vanitas
To: Everyone
Subject: Passive dream recording | CW: choking, vomiting, drowning


It all starts at a Heart Station. Or, rather, what should be one. What should be a great structure rising from the very darkness itself, covered in stained glass is... Blank. There's nothing. No colors. No shapes or depictions of things that the heart would hold dear. Instead it's all broken. A web of shattered glass that is beyond repair - though it most certainly looks like someone has tried. Great fissures mar the surface while large pieces seem to be broken away or even missing. A coupled even seem to be floating above the station proper.

Most would be bright and shimmering to some degree, but this one doesn't. Whatever light had once been has faded. Stare long enough and there are flickers, as if there would be a short in the wiring, if this place had anything like electricity flowing through it.

At the center, of course, stands Vanitas. Whether or not this is a true depiction of his heart doesn't matter. This is how he views it. How he sees it. Longing. Anguish. Pain. So much pain. Hate. Hate hate hate.

Whole... I want to be whole. I need it. I need my -

Light. There it is. A soft ball of warmth coming from above. He looks up, of course. Because it's right there and within reach. When Vanitas moves, it's jumping from broken piece to broken piece and ready with his hand out to obtain what he desires most. What will make him complete. Whole.

Almost -

Monster

A pause. Frozen. Something like ice begins to move through his veins. No. Not here. Not now. The shadows around the Station seem to shift. Take the form of red, glowing eyes watching his every move. He knows this feeling. Knows this emotion. Terror. It's bubbling in his chest. Gipping it like a vice. Vision spins as Vanitas missteps and falls. Crashes against the glass. Tight too tight. Air. No air. Can't breathe. Terror. Horror. Fear. Anxiety. Everything hitting hard. Fast. Too much at once. Spinning. Spinning. Dizzy. Pain.

Pain.

Pain.

Can't hold it in. Can't contain it. They're going to come out. They're going to break free. Then it will start all over again. And break free they do with Vanitas on his knees. Coughing and hacking. Covering his mouth because he needs to keep it all in. Emotions can't be allowed to break free of him again. Yet out it comes, Vanitas heaving and a black substance like tar splatters against the glass. Rolls down his face. And again. And again. Over and over, fire taking the place of ice. The glowing red stares all the more intense as they take shape and form. Unversed. Hundreds of them. All his own emotions grabbing and reaching.

Pulling. Tugging. Dragging further and further away from that Light. Not until they swallow Vanitas up completely. His lung burn. Fear. Terror. Pain. It's an endless cycle that he can't break free of. For the more intensely he feels those emotions, the more that he chokes and more spawn. What good did it to? To keep trying? This is the result. This is always the result. To live and to suffer. To strive and to always have it out of reach? To have hope. All of these thoughts cycle, out of control. Emotions spiraling until it's thing but a sea of black and those faces staring at him. Limbs growing tired and weak. Everything is fading. No Light. No Darkness. Just-

"V a n i t a s!"

Nothing.

Comments

Sender: Eizen

[tailsneverfails]

[ Shudders

He couldn't feel what the kid felt, but in a way he felt like he could. All those emotions bubbling about, all those fears coming out in a more physical sense??? He didn't quite understand what he saw, but those feelings, they felt so... suffocating in a way and he only watched it happen.

Should he reach out? The kid would probably get annoyed if he did, if he even woke up from such a thing... Ultimately he decides to write to him. At least that way he won't have to deal with Eizen's voice bothering him.]

C'mon kid. You can handle more than that, can't you?

[darkcharge]

[ It takes some time to actually respond to anything. The voice right at the end had been Sora's attempting to cut through whatever nightmare he had perceived Vanitas to be having.

And then some time taken to calm down. It's worse now, really. Because the scene of spewing out Unversed is a reality for him again. Emotions too strong and demanding to crawl out of him instead of being contained.

But when he does answer, he hopes that the message is conveyed with as much venom as possible: ]

Mind your own business.

[tailsneverfails]

Kinda feels like it is my business now.

[darkcharge]

You see a dream and you think that you have the right to comment on what I "can handle," as you put it?

I don't think so.

[tailsneverfails]

Are you sayin' our little fight from before isn't proof enough of your determination?

[darkcharge]

I don't need coddling and I don't need words of encouragement.

[tailsneverfails]

I'm not really the coddling type.

I just know signs of letting oneself get consumed by darkness instead of controlling the darkness.

Hate to see a kid like you turn into a daemon

[darkcharge]

[ Well that just makes him laugh ]

I AM Darkness. It's all I am.

That's the entire POINT.

[tailsneverfails]

Doesn't mean you can't be consumed by that very darkness.

[darkcharge]

You can't be consumed by that which you are.

I would need something that can be devoured in order to be devoured. Which I don't have.

[tailsneverfails]

You have something that can be devoured, kid.

[darkcharge]

Oh? What might that be, oh wise one?

[tailsneverfails]

We'll there's something movin' you forward, ain't there?

[darkcharge]

That "thing" isn't going to be consumed. "It" has proven to be really resilient.

[tailsneverfails]

I was gonna say you're the resilient one, but I'm gonna go ahead and guess we're talkin' about two different things here.

[darkcharge]

No, now I want to know what you mean by that.

[tailsneverfails]

I mean it's not like I can read your mind. I guess it's more of a feelin' I have. Man's intuition that you're talkin' about a someone instead of yourself.

No judgement, as long as you've found somethin' to live for and you live for what you wanna live for.

[darkcharge]

Right now it is someone that's not myself. At least when we're talking about motivation.

He's the one that keep thinking that things will be different. Maybe if he is the one wishing for it, then that wish will come true.

[tailsneverfails]

A pure hearted sort, huh... I know the type.

[darkcharge]

Maybe a little less pure than what he used to be. Hopefully.

[tailsneverfails]

Guess someone full of darkness would find one full of purity a little hard to deal with at first though it seems you two have found a way.

[darkcharge]

Oh don't get it wrong. I can't stand my other half.

But I don't care about being rejoined to him anymore

[tailsneverfails]

Following your own path, something I can admire.

[darkcharge]

Wow. You're really trying to put a positive spin on everything.

[tailsneverfails]

I don't really know if it's really putting a positive spin on it. It's just a waste if you don't live your life how you want to. Somethin' I think a lotta humans should recognize.

Besides, if I let small things stop me, I'd never get anywhere with my luck.