Dream One 🔥 Unhappy Memories

[disdelusioned]

Sender: Diluc Ragnvindr
To: Everyone
Subject: Passive dream recording
Warnings: spoilers for Genshin Impact character stories and webtoon; cw: blood, violence, and death

[The beginning events of the dream happen quickly. A large purple drake descends on a cart and wagon, leaving naught but carnage in its wake. A man with more than a passing resemblence to Diluc emerges from from the wagon, standing against the drake and attacking it with a great and terrible power. Within moments, the beast is ensnared with dark chains. A few moments later, it breaks free and retreats, and the man collapses.

It's at this point that Diluc himself becomes visible in the dream, huddled over the man's body and covered with blood that's not his own. He's younger, a late adolescent, and calls the man "father" as he cries out in grief. The rain starts pouring down, though it does little to wash the stains of red away.

Nearby, a flamboyantly dressed man regards him cooly.]

"You know, Master Diluc, I can't help but wonder if your anger about all this might be a bit misplaced."

[Slowly, Diluc's gaze rises from his father's corpse to look up at him. His expression almost immediately shifts into a sharp glare. The man continues to speak, totally unfazed.]

"You blame the Fatui and the Knights - and me by association - but have you stopped to consider that perhaps it's our dearest father that betrayed you first? You honestly don't believe he accepted this Delusion at the point of a sword or under the duress of a threat, do you?"

[Diluc is on his feet in an instant, grabbing a sword that by all rights shouldn't be there and charging him.]

Take that back!

[He's stopped after only a handful of steps by the same great and terrible power that stopped the drake's advance, this time piercing him through from behind.

At that point, the dream ends as its dreamer wakes up with a start.]

Comments

[disdelusioned]

[The tension in van Zieks is obvious, especially with how much it matches Diluc's own. Even without those tells, however, he knows that this is not an offer a man like him would make lightly. There's a purpose in this offer of reciprocity. The same purpose, he's sure, that van Zieks is here in the first place.

The kettle squeals before he can respond, which buys him precious moments to take a few deep breaths and steady himself as he pours and steeps their tea. By the time he brings the cups to the table, he at least can manage it without trembling.]

By all means. Whatever you want to share with me, I'll listen.

[Whether or not he likes it is another story.]

[discourtesies]

[Barok takes the appropriate seat, pulling the cup closer although he has no real intention of drinking it anytime soon. A habit, perhaps—as if settling in for a longer visit, regardless of the severity of the topics at hand.]

Some years before, three students from a Far Eastern nation came to learn of our judiciary, of which my brother was a major figure. They spent a great deal time working together, and I too had the opportunity to become familiar with them in the course of my studies. I admired them, particularly the detective, Genshin Asogi... Kazuma Asogi's father.

[He might as well tie this all in with what Diluc already knows.]

In my early twenties, soon after my graduation, a murderer began to target the nobility. Our government was sent into a frenzy to track the killer, who became known as the Professor... the most hated in our city's history. His final victim was my brother. Mere days after his death, Genshin was arrested.

I begged the prosecutor in charge of that case to grant me leave to take that role instead. Because Asogi was a student from a foreign nation whose relations were still a sensitive matter, only a select few members of our government were allowed any knowledge of the proceedings, and the identity of the man was to be forever hidden—and I needed to be part of it. I relied upon the evidence given to me by that man to prosecute, but the trial was a simple matter. Asogi said nothing in his defense, and a vital piece of evidence found in my brother's autopsy made his guilt clear.

[All of this has been easy enough to recount, thus far. The facts as he knew them for so long. It's a story well practiced in his mind, though the occasion to speak of it rarely arose until recently. The real truth, however... is still something he finds difficult. He's accepted it, but it's not so easy to express.]

... but I was blinded by grief and my anger, Mr. Ragnvindr. The truth was in front of me, and I refused to see it.

[He pauses then, as if to take a moment to come to terms with it. The more he considers the matter, the more flaws he can see to the story he once believed.]

[disdelusioned]

[Diluc, sleep deprived as he is, doesn't quite have the luxury to ignore the tea for any real length of time. He drinks from his cup as he listens, quiet and attentive.

As Barok speaks, it becomes clear that this is meant to be didactic, a comparison of experience with the intent of providing advice on how best to move forward. And though it's well-meant, it causes something deep within Diluc to rankle. By the end, he wants to protest. He isn't blinded, he knows the truth of the Fatui and the Knights and Kaeya and the Abyss Order, and for the sake of Mondstadt and all of Teyvat he needs to keep all of them in check.

But for now, he swallows the reaction back. He's irritated, but he has no intentions of being so disrespectful that he'll interrupt. There's obviously more that his friend wants to say.]

And what was the truth, in this case?

[He can't quite take the edge out of his voice, however, and he knows Barok well enough by now to know that it won't go unnoticed.]

[discourtesies]

[Barok's hand rests against his chest, over the badge he still wears even now.]

The evidence held clear contradictions—one of which I was uniquely prepared to spot. The ring I knew Genshin to wear... that I even saw upon his hand after my brother's death... was presented as if it were found within Klint's body.

[Even without the other mismatch in the autopsy, that fact alone should have led him to stop and consider what he was truly doing. Whatever the circumstances surrounding that horrible trial, no matter his feelings, he should have known. His jaw tenses as he continues, and it's nearly a struggle for him to continue.]

The truth was that my own brother was the killer, spurred on by blackmail after he first stained his hands. The one controlling him was in charge of the case of his death, and rather than question what tools he gave me, I was grateful that he allowed me what I saw as my revenge against a horrible traitor. And so, I wasted ten years as that man continued ruining and ending lives with his manipulations, playing my own part in them without knowing.

[His tea has already gone ice cold, but he pulls himself back from his moment of anger with a brief breath. More to his purpose...]

I would not presume to imply anything regarding you nor your family. I merely ask that if you have any doubts at all regarding the circumstances you have become involved in, regardless of how unpleasant... do not ignore them.

hey look they match

[disdelusioned]

[And just like that, Diluc's own petulant anger fades as he finally understands what it is he's being told.

The immediate aftermath of his father's death and the death of Barok's brother are not at all the same in details, but they share the same beats of anger, action, and realizing later that the action taken was incorrected and damaging. The emotional need to do something to make the pain lesser is what drove Barok to ignore the obvious, and it likewise drove Diluc to draw steel and nearly kill the man he had called "brother" up until that point. It wasn't until much, much later that he even thought to question why Kaeya had confessed his sins that night in the rain. And even now, it's difficult to imagine an answer that's not 'in order to hurt me.'

More devastating, however, are the times in which the answer he imagines is 'so I would put him out of his own misery.'

He knows, deep in his heart, that Kaeya is his blind spot. The "doubt in his circumstances," as van Zieks had put it, unsure in any given moment if he's being too hard on him or too soft. It's easier, mentally and emotionally, to focus his attention on the Fatui and on the Knights' incompetence. But one way or another, he knows he can't keep running from the issue forever.

Given that his once-adoptive brother is not here, there's not much he can do either way. So he'll have to remain with the status quo for now.]

I know kind words often pale in the face of that sort of experience, but... I'm sorry. Truly.

[He sets his tea cup down with a soft sigh.]

I'll keep your counsel in mind. I... I'm doing the best that I can.

"hey look they match" is their whole cr

[discourtesies]

[His explanation done, van Zieks keeps his attention on his younger companion, watching as that ire begins to make way for what he hopes is understanding. There are clearly internal connections being made, considerations over what he's just heard—which can only be expected. They both have... a number of things to process. Realization and acceptance are not simple switches to be flipped.]

I appreciate your sympathy nevertheless. And you have my deepest condolences for your loss.

[Although the gravity of his typical demeanor hasn't changed, there is certainly a level of something softer in his tone that's uncommon with the man.]

Though I know well how suck betrayal makes it difficult to trust any, much less with such personal feelings... I pray you do not forget that there are still those around you who remain genuine in their desire to ease those burdens and help you find the answers you seek.

[He takes his own cup of now-chilled tea in hand, partly to distract himself. It's easier to speak of these things if he doesn't think too hard about the circumstances, and simply allows himself to express his thoughts.]

I made those mistakes for far too long. ... It is a dark existence I would not wish on another.

it really is. rip both of them for it

[disdelusioned]

Thank you.

[The words mean a lot more to him than he expects they would have, especially after four years. Perhaps it's because he still feels a bit raw from the dream last night. Or perhaps it's because he knows that Barok understands better than most.

The rest of what his friend (which is what this man is to him, even if neither are likely to ever use the word) has to say settles in his chest alongside similar words spoken to him by Thoma and Ori both in the immediate hours after the nightmare was broadcast for all to see. The truth of the matter is that he's not used to sharing these burdens with anyone. Carrying this grief, and the mission he's given himself in response to it, is something that he has shouldered alone. He's already damaged, he figures; better that he continue with his own dark existence so that no one else has to suffer it.

And yet, after only a few months here he find himself second-guessing all of it. There are times when that doubt infuriates him, scolding himself for his lack of resolve in these uncertain and largely divorced circumstances that he's found himself in.

Times like now, however, he finds himself almost ready to believe that he deserves to be happy like anyone else. It's a strange feeling, and he's not sure what to make of it.]

I'll do my best to remember that.

[It's all he can promise, and surely Barok realizes that it's a much larger promise than one might assume.]

I appreciate you coming here to tell me all of this.

[discourtesies]

[And that promise is the most Barok would ask of him. He's sure the both of them will struggle with these sorts of things along the path to a better life. He hopes it will be easier for Diluc, however, given he hasn't had as much time to become stubborn in his ways simply through habit.]

I felt it my responsibility to offer counsel where I am able. [Well—okay, fine. It's more than just a general feeling.] Particularly given our similarities.

[They've "same hat!"ed over too many things now for him to just ignore.]

I merely hope that some good may come from this sort of... unfortunate display of our inner thoughts and memories.

[disdelusioned]

[While they're here, at least, they can struggle together. Having that will make things easier on them both, especially since they're so similar in ways beyond just their histories. Barok van Zieks is someone Diluc trusts and respects, and he gives neither lightly.

Despite himself, Diluc finds himself able to smile a little. The expression is reserved, and tinged with no small amount of exhaustion, but it's an improvement all the same. One way or another, he believes they'll both be all right. Or at least as all right as they can be, all things considered.]

We can only hope. If nothing else, the lack of sleep allowed me to work on solutions to some of the logistical challenges we've had in setting up the winery.

[Like 'how the hell do we do business without a currency system?' He's still working on that one.]

[discourtesies]

[Barok nods in understanding before taking a sip of his cold tea.]

A topic that I'm certain the both of us would much rather discuss.

[And van Zieks is certainly a man well-versed in the ways of things like paperwork and organization... even if red tape isn't something they have to navigate around here.

They're sure to have a productive discussion, regardless of the emotional baggage that's been brought up.]