journal entry; first day of owlets

[enflame]

⇢ sender: Emil Västerström
⇢ to: Everyone
⇢ subject: Journal text

❰ not one to be on the up and up in a place where he feels that fully integrating is still a form of treason, the whole deal with owls and santa claus has totally gone over emil's head. he stays in his tree house, goes out to enjoy himself from time to time, comes back and that's that.

unluckily enough for him, he's chosen a day of owlet extravaganza to go outside and get fresh air. reclining against the base of a tree not too far from the one he calls home, everything is uneventful. no huge bugs, the weather is mild as far as he's concerned. there's no noise— well, actually, hold that thought. there is a high-pitched sound off in the distance, but no matter. the closer it gets, the more his aggravation shifts from being underlying to obvious, especially if the crease in his brow is any indication. but the time it finally gets close enough to be within sight line, the smell of burnt ground becomes more apparent.

the sight he sees: a small owlet, screeching and running, flapping like mad while every beat of its wings pushes a cloud of fire forward. the bird veers close enough to emil that he has to tuck in his legs to avoid his shoes being burnt.

what...was that? did he miss a memo?? is this just another thing that happens here??? ❱

A bird just tried to set me on fire ?

Comments

[legbreakings]

Hah! That just goes to show you know NOTHING about what you're talking about!

[ Gun expert fraud, he calls gun expert fraud! ]

[enflame]

I refuse to take seriously the claims of a person who thinks a talking gun exists.

But since I pity a person who is totally unaware of how to use such a fine piece of equipment, I'm amenable to showing you my rifle and how it works to put your mind to rest.

Also that it doesn't speak.

[legbreakings]

It's a talking SHOTGUN

I'm not sure if I trust you to know what you're doing but learning can't hurt.

[enflame]

I've never handled something as useless and simple as a shotgun, but I can still tell you it has no use talking.

What would a gun even say? It would be pointless.

[legbreakings]

It mostly just said something in the vein of being the best shotgun

[enflame]

There's no such thing as a best shotgun, so even if it was speaking it was wrong.

Not that I'm saying I believe you. More like you should make something up that's more realistic.

[legbreakings]

But it's true! I never said that all shotguns can talk, but the one I had in the Containment Zone could! Maybe you just don't know as much about them as you think!

Now I understand why that bird tried to set you on fire!

[enflame]

Too bad you don't have it here because that's something you have to see — or hear — to believe.

And in all honesty, by your standards, it would have set you ablaze a long time ago.

[legbreakings]

If I can ever bring it here, you will have to eat your words!

Maybe the bird just has more common sense than you do.