dreamcrystals | ~*~third entry*~

Sender: Meilin Lee
To: Everyone
Subject: A Big Confession

Okay I'm not sure how to go about this, but I'd super appreciate it if everyone read this??? Because I have a super huge confession to make and it's important to me. And it'd probably explain a lot about how I've been acting since I'm pretty sure I've weirded a lot out of you out.

Guess the best way to start is with the backstory. So like a super long time ago, my ancestor Sun Yee lived in this village during war time, and all the men went off to fight. But that left the village kinda defenseless, y'know? She wanted to protect her daughters so she prayed to the gods for help. So the gods gave her the ability to turn into a gigantic red panda so she could fight off any invaders and protect her home. Because she really loved red pandas.

Now I know that sounds SUPER MADE UP but I promise it's real because that ability got passed down through the generations - which leads to me. Whenever I get super emotional about anything (happy, sad, angry, you name it) I turn into the Panda. Sometimes just a small trigger will set off parts of the Panda, like ears and tail - so if you've seen me try to head my head or my butt, uh, yeah, that's why. Now some of you may be asking why I've been hiding this because we've got literal animals and demons walking and talking around this world like it's no biggie.

IT IS A SUPER BIGGIE IN MY WORLD. Like, no one thinks gods and magic actually exist??? I sure didn't! No one told me about this "blessing" until it happened to me like a few weeks before I came here! And I freaked out and nearly destroyed my home and temple! I'm already a huge target for bullying at my school, this would be infinity times worse! There is this ritual to seal up the Panda but this place grabbed me before we could do it!

But this world is different. Yeah, obviously. But like... everyone's so nice? And understanding? Plus while the idea of a giant Red Panda sounds super silly, that form of mine is actually really strong, so it could help fight monsters here and stuff. So... I'm not going to try and hide it anymore. As long as I'm here, I'm going to try and embrace it a little more. So, I guess, that's everything.

Wait no one last thing - If my mom ever comes here please don't tell her about any of this! Okay now I'm done.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That all sounds super cool though! But like, do you feel stuff when you use your sword self? Or is it now just an ordinary sword?

I guess it's like having two bodies? My human body can get sick and hurt like a normal human, but if anything happens to my blade, then I'd probably disappear. My blade is incredibly sharp, which sounds great, but it has its downsides like being more susceptible to chipping and breaking if it's not properly maintained.

[ Not that he would ever know what it means to break, nope, not him. Never broke once in his whole life!! ]

I'm happy you're interested in learning more about me and my world, but are you just asking me these questions so we don't talk about you?

who says I can't be doing both things at once

Ah, well, I guess you did just admit it.

At the same, although I don't exactly know you, I think it's pretty clear that it was difficult to write what you wrote. If talking about me and my world helps get your mind off things, I'm okay with that.

But in exchange, maybe you could tell me more about red pandas~? Why did your ancestor love them so much? Was it really just because they were cute?

Well, they're not just cute - they're also very clever and mischievous! I know way more facts about them than any zoo, that's for sure!

Cute and mischievous, huh?

[ INTERESTING. Well, he knows someone who a red panda would probably make a great mascot for. ]

Do they only come in red? I know it's in their name, but...

That's right! Black and white pandas exist, but the red pandas were the first ones discovered, and those pandas are wayyy different!

[ Kiyomitsu, who has never seen a panda bear or a red panda before, has a very different image of what panda bears and red pandas look like. But they're both super cute in his head, so that's all right with him!! ]

Have you run into any pandas here? Actually, can you use the journal to show me what they look like?

i don't think there are any pandas here, but I can try to draw you one!

[ With that, she begins to doodle a red panda! It's "okay" for a thirteen year old... but the shoujou sparkle eyes are probably not accurate. ]

Are

you sure red pandas are real?

[ THE SPARKLY EYES... ]

This looks like something straight out of one of my master's comics.

[ how can you not have sparkly eyes??? everyone does!!! ]

Of course they're real! They live in China and zoos and stuff!

I've never been to China or a zoo, and your drawing looks very

magical.

I guess I'll take your word for it though, because either way it looks very, very cute. Plus, it's better than anything I could draw.

it'd be a pretty weird thing to make up for no reason!

[ she doesn't comment on the drawing since she has... mama-trauma about doodles... ]

It's mostly your interpretation of red pandas I'm doubting rather than red pandas themselves.

Either way, I appreciate you showing me, except now I really want to see a bunch of them in person. The closest thing I've seen to it would be the tanuki who sometimes eat our crops and steal our dried leaves back home. But those are brown, and not quite as cute. I'm going to keep an eye out in case any show up here!

I can show you my Panda if you want. I was ready to do it if anyone wanted proof.

Are you comfortable doing that? There's a difference between telling someone your secret and showing them your secret.

I've got already got like 3 or 4 people asking to see it, it's happening.

That's a lot of people. I don't want to make you feel like you're being put on display.

as long as they don't make me feel like a circus freak or I'm at the zoo, it's really okay

The fact that so many people want you to demonstrate a rare and unique ability for entertainment doesn't make you feel that way?

I still don't have any real control over this thing

So I'd rather they find out and see me this way, than find out in a super embarrassing way later on down the road

I guess that's fair. If there was a side I was embarrassed about or wanted to keep hidden, I'd want to be able to show that side of me on my own terms rather than when I'm not expecting it.

But, if it's okay with you, maybe I'll wait? I know you said it was fine, but it still feels like I'm taking advantage of you just to see something I already know is going to be really cute.

well, just as you can't force me, I can't force you

I'm sure you'll see it sooner or later, that's a guarantee.

If it does happen because you feel a strong emotion, I'll be sure to give you an honest opinion of how cute your red panda form is.

[ There's a brief pause. ]

And I'll reassure you that even if it's not as cute as the red panda image in my head or what you drew, you're still you. And that's important.

[ It's important to be able to love yourself is what he's trying to get at, and being reminded that you're okay just the way you are is something he's found to be helpful for himself. ]

~~third entry~

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