~*~third entry*~

[itsgunnabe_mei]

Sender: Meilin Lee
To: Everyone
Subject: A Big Confession


Okay I'm not sure how to go about this, but I'd super appreciate it if everyone read this??? Because I have a super huge confession to make and it's important to me. And it'd probably explain a lot about how I've been acting since I'm pretty sure I've weirded a lot out of you out.

Guess the best way to start is with the backstory. So like a super long time ago, my ancestor Sun Yee lived in this village during war time, and all the men went off to fight. But that left the village kinda defenseless, y'know? She wanted to protect her daughters so she prayed to the gods for help. So the gods gave her the ability to turn into a gigantic red panda so she could fight off any invaders and protect her home. Because she really loved red pandas.

Now I know that sounds SUPER MADE UP but I promise it's real because that ability got passed down through the generations - which leads to me. Whenever I get super emotional about anything (happy, sad, angry, you name it) I turn into the Panda. Sometimes just a small trigger will set off parts of the Panda, like ears and tail - so if you've seen me try to head my head or my butt, uh, yeah, that's why. Now some of you may be asking why I've been hiding this because we've got literal animals and demons walking and talking around this world like it's no biggie.

IT IS A SUPER BIGGIE IN MY WORLD. Like, no one thinks gods and magic actually exist??? I sure didn't! No one told me about this "blessing" until it happened to me like a few weeks before I came here! And I freaked out and nearly destroyed my home and temple! I'm already a huge target for bullying at my school, this would be infinity times worse! There is this ritual to seal up the Panda but this place grabbed me before we could do it!

But this world is different. Yeah, obviously. But like... everyone's so nice? And understanding? Plus while the idea of a giant Red Panda sounds super silly, that form of mine is actually really strong, so it could help fight monsters here and stuff. So... I'm not going to try and hide it anymore. As long as I'm here, I'm going to try and embrace it a little more. So, I guess, that's everything.

Wait no one last thing - If my mom ever comes here please don't tell her about any of this! Okay now I'm done.

Comments

[itsgunnabe_mei]

[ If the Panda could blush, she definitely would now! ]

Okay, now you're just trying to be nice...

[stillarhino]

Naw, yo! You seen yourself? Kinda reminds me of a prize from 'em crane games.

[He knows if he had seen something like how Panda!Mei looked in a crane game, he would've tried to win it for his sister.]

[itsgunnabe_mei]

[ ... definitely the most original compliment she's ever heard! ]

Um. Thanks? ... So you're saying I look like a gigantic plushie?

[stillarhino]

Yeah, that ain't a bad thing, right?

[He starts circling around her, taking her in a bit more, really letting how large she'd become set in.]

You said somethin' 'bout bein' bullied back home, yeah? If any a' them punks show up here, leas' you can deal with 'em this way. And if not, you can call on your ol' pal Beat an' I can teach 'em a thing or two.

[itsgunnabe_mei]

[ That does make her chuckle a little. ]

I guess it could be nice to send him cryin' home to his mama... but I don't think whatever dumb things he has to say would bother me as much here, since I have all of you guys on my side.

[stillarhino]

He shouldn't be saying that sorta shit in the first place, if he knows what's good for 'im.

[And just to drive his point home, he punches his fist into an open palm.]

Aight, so we seen you turn into a panda. How'd you change back?

[itsgunnabe_mei]

Well... I need to calm down. It might take a minute or two...

[ With that, she places her hands together, and sits down. Meditating, lotus style. ]

Hmmm...

sorry for the delay!

[stillarhino]

[Beat just watches her for a second.]

You know, I don't get how ya get calm like that. Ain't never worked for me.

[It doesn't seem like he realizes that his chattering might make it harder for her too.]

no worries

[itsgunnabe_mei]

It helps when I think of my friends. I just picture my besties all around me, and giving me hugs, and words of encouragement... 'cause I know no matter what, they'll always have my back.

[stillarhino]

[Hearing all that, he looks back up at Mei as she tries to calm down, to be able to revert back to her regular form. He may not be her bestie, but she was definitely her friend.

And so, with arms wide open, he wraps them on either side of Mei's panda form to give her a hug. Huh, her fur is a lot softer than he thought it would be.]

You got this, Red.

[itsgunnabe_mei]

...

[ beat you're a good soul

BUT HOLY MOLEY A HOT BOY HUGGING HER IS NOT CALMING HER DOWN AT ALL.

She's very glad the fur is hiding the major blush she's got going on. She clears her throat, deciding not to mention this, and closes her eyes to resume the meditiation.

After a few long, tense seconds - POOF! She's Mei the human again!

... And he's still holding her. ]

... Um. Th-th-thank you...?

[stillarhino]

[He holds on to her tightly, suddenly feeling her fur disappear. Now back in her human form, her smaller stature hangs from Beat's arms, feet dangling off the ground.

After a moment later, Beat releases her and carefully sets her back on the ground. He gives her another once over.]

Whoa... Yo, I guess that meditation stuff works after all.

[itsgunnabe_mei]

[ Mei rubs her cheeks a bit, trying to get her blushing to stop - without her fur, she can't really hide that! ]

Ahahaha, yeah... I mean, it's not perfect, but it helps...

[stillarhino]

[With the way she rubs at her cheeks, even Beat can't help but notice them.]

You still kinda red though. That kinda thing normal when you transform?

[itsgunnabe_mei]

[ ... Beat.

She can't help but give him A Look. ]

... Dooo you remember my whole journal entry when I was talking about hot boys and my reaction to them?

[stillarhino]

[There's actually a few moments as he tries to connect the dots. Right. She thought that he was hot.

Now he too looks embarrassed, his cheeks turning a deep shade of red as he looks away from Mei, sheepishly scratching the back of his neck.]

I was jus' tryin' to help ya calm down.

[itsgunnabe_mei]

No, no, it's my bad... I should've mentioned back home, all my besties are girls.

I've... never really had any guy friends before.

[stillarhino]

Well, you got me now, don't ya?

[Beat chuckles a little at that, finally turning to face her again, despite the lingering embarrassment. He puts both his hands up in front of him.]

Look, I ain't gonna do that again if you don't want me to.

[itsgunnabe_mei]

No, no! This is a me problem, I just have to fix it!

[ Adding to her list of so, so, so many "me" problems... ]

[stillarhino]

[Fix it? Hmm, Beat can't help but offer once more upon hearing that.]

You sure, yo? Ain't no biggie for me until you cool about it.

[itsgunnabe_mei]

It's a very biggie for me! I want us to be really, really good friends! No weirdness or anything!

[stillarhino]

Aight. If that's what ya want, Red, I ain't gonna fight ya.

Thanks for showin' me this thing you can do. Took guts for ya to tell everyone 'bout it.

[itsgunnabe_mei]

... Well, everyone was bound to find out eventually... This way, at least I had a little control over it.

[stillarhino]

Guess you right. But that don't mean you ain't brave for doin' it. Gotta give yourself a bit a' credit, yo.

[itsgunnabe_mei]

... Thanks, Beat. I really mean it. It wasn't easy... but... I'm really glad there are people like you here.