He listened quietly, for a moment, staring at the floor. "All of you?" That didn't make any damn sense. After what he'd done, to Futaba and Haru in particular... But then, they weren't stupid, were they? "You're... not wrong. I was too stupid to admit it, but you're right."
He inhaled. "I'm not... sure if you heard what happened. But some shit happened on the tenth, and I met... well. I suppose you could call it my Shadow. It knew... everything. Everything I'd been lying to myself about. Everything I'd been too scared or proud to admit. I think I've realized for the first time how... little. Control I've ever had over my life. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of... letting other people decide who I am."
Beneath the surface, a sense of warmth he now had a name for welled up- Captain Nemo, comfortably there like he'd always been, somehow, without the discomfort or vitriol he'd come to get used to...
"I'm not going to apologize. What would 'I'm sorry' actually accomplish? But I do... wish I hadn't-"
No. Not the right words. "No child should have to lose their parents. It was stupid, and it was wrong, and all of it- all of it was part of this- this half-baked plan I came up with when I was fourteen that was never going to work in the first place and Shido knew. He knew the whole time and I let him- I let him make me just like him. And I'm done. This is me, starting over. I don't want to be- I am not. Him."
no subject
He inhaled. "I'm not... sure if you heard what happened. But some shit happened on the tenth, and I met... well. I suppose you could call it my Shadow. It knew... everything. Everything I'd been lying to myself about. Everything I'd been too scared or proud to admit. I think I've realized for the first time how... little. Control I've ever had over my life. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of... letting other people decide who I am."
Beneath the surface, a sense of warmth he now had a name for welled up- Captain Nemo, comfortably there like he'd always been, somehow, without the discomfort or vitriol he'd come to get used to...
"I'm not going to apologize. What would 'I'm sorry' actually accomplish? But I do... wish I hadn't-"
No. Not the right words. "No child should have to lose their parents. It was stupid, and it was wrong, and all of it- all of it was part of this- this half-baked plan I came up with when I was fourteen that was never going to work in the first place and Shido knew. He knew the whole time and I let him- I let him make me just like him. And I'm done. This is me, starting over. I don't want to be- I am not. Him."