dreamcrystals | 002 - Dream Recording

Entry tags:

002 - Dream Recording

Sender: Kazuma Asogi
To: Everyone
Subject: Passive Dream recording

CW: Blood, Death, Naga?

Before there is any sort of scenery, there is warmth. A comforting breeze blowing, the sound of birds chirping, a flowing stream. A child's laughter echoes in the darkness. And then it turns to white. Like eyes adjusting to the sudden brightness, a scene starts to take shape.

Colors come alive, and there was the smell of fresh linen. Clothes being hung block your view for a moment as the world expands behind them. A grassy area with a rock garden and a Japanese-style wooden home, a yard of sorts. Cherry blossom petals were floating through the breeze from the nearby blooming trees, and down by the stream was the source of the laughter. A small boy with an older gentleman, probably his father.

"I got something!" The boy pulls on his rod with such enthusiasm, at the end of the line, a small guppy. "Aw, it's so small." The parent gives him a few headpats, a warm smile on his face.

"We all have to start somewhere." The boy looks up to him.

"Well when can I start practicing with a sword? It's been a year now!" As if the father expected this inevitable question, he laughs.

"Much older I'm afraid, but...I suppose your mother wouldn't be against practicing with a wooden sword." The boy's face suddenly lights up with anticipation.

"Really?! Ah that is--I would be honor if you could teach me the way of the Asogi clan." His excitement quickly replace with a stiff bow, failing to hide his giddiness. The father continues to have a warm gentle smile, as the edges of the dream shifts like static. As they move from the stream, they just miss a white snake slithering through the grass.

Like changing the channel on a television, the scene changes and you are brought inside the home of this boy and father. Both stood on opposite ends of the room, a change into training clothes and wooden swords in hand. The boy was intensely focused, breathing heavily to indicate they had been at this for a while.

"One more, just one more try." He had been attempting and failing at a technique apparently. And he stubbornly does not know when to call it quits and to try again later. His father, a sympathetic yet stern look.

"There is a lesson in knowing when to stop."

"I'll stop after this one. Promise." And he will keep his promise. His father simply sighs as he raises his sword. Not mad, just amused.

"One more it is then."

And so they spar, a bit one-sided, but it was a child training with a grown man. He just, needed an opening. One good hit through all these parries and he will have succeeded. "There!" Just as the boy thrust his wooden sword forward, he slips and lets out a yelp as he tumbles into his father instead. Father goes along with it as he "falls" onto the ground.

"Ahh, you found my weak point" He feign defeat, his free arm hugging his son. The boy groans. "I did not..." Thanks for trying to make him feel better, dad. His father just chuckles as he pats him on the head.

"You pushed yourself more than you could take. You'll get it next time after some rest." The boy knows this to be true, though he wish the session hadn't ended in such embarrassing way. Just as he was about to say something to his father, he felt something wet in his hand. Looking down, he's freezes with shock to find what appears to be blood on his hand, blood on his father's clothes. No, he couldn't have.

"Father-?" A look of horror on the boys face as the colors on his father's face fade. The scenery around them become harder to stay in focus, crumbling into a darkness until it was only them. His father's warm expression turns cold and lifeless.

"Why?"

Suddenly the dream felt like was speeding up. The boy tries to wiggle himself free, only to realize he couldn't feel his legs. He had no legs, just a long serpentine tail. Scales and fangs suddenly appear, giving the boy a more serpent appearance as he looks back to his father in a panic, confused, seeking help, answers.

But he was no longer on his father. He was suddenly left alone on the floor, his father floating away in the distance, leaving a trail of blood. His features became less life-like, more blood dripping as if he had been torn in various places on his body.

"No! Father, I didn't-!" The boy felt a heavy weight that kept him from going after his father, no matter how much he tries to reach for him with his bloody hand.

"I taught you better. No son of mine would ever take a life."

"I'm sorry!" Desperation in the boys voice, not wanting to lose his father. "I just wanted-I didn't mean for it to happen!" Please come back to me.

In that moment, you'll feel a coldness and being weigh down, sinking. The dream will then abruptly end.

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...It's not the same. [His hand gingerly holds Susato's, not quite gripping.]

He honored his opponent with a duel. I...slaughtered without much thought who they were. [Nothing but anger, a desire for vengeance.]

[ Anger... She can sense it. By now, she can only imagine that it's directed mostly at himself, but she'll still be the one to tighten her grip if he does not. A way of pulling him back from that pit of despair. ]

"Several"... I remember.

It has eaten at you this much, yet this is the most you've said about it without me twisting your arm.

...It was my essence's turn to have his story "restored". [And then he gives her an inch. Maybe enough time has finally passed that he can bring that horror back to the surface.]

Those who essence are connected to their story being restored, receive something of a boon. It's more of curse in my case. [He glances down at his tea, pondering over to grab another drink or continue. His hand is squeezing Susato's whether he realizes it or not.] Hyde...certainly didn't hold back.

[ Her eyes widen slightly. She wasn't sure how he would react to that, but she can feel the squeeze of his hand. The last time she'd heard the word 'Essence' being spoken in this context, it was from Leia. Another loss.

Despite the sad reminder, she'll take the inch being given. ]

Kazuma...

[ Boon? Curse? Ugh, why isn't she better at this when it counts? It certainly makes sense that Hyde would come about if his story were being restored. The fact that he still speaks of Hyde in the third person, despite being insistent that he's a part of him... she doesn't know if that should be a comfort or not. Her thumb idly makes circles on his hand, a gentle rubbing motion. ]

How many?

[His brows furrow.] Too many. All of my anger, frustrations, and desire for vengeance were suddenly free from their shackles. He wanted to hurt--I wanted to hurt, make anyone that cross my path suffer.

[He needed a moment to take a deep breath. He's been doing rather well not having to hear the screams of his victims up until now.] I suppose one would consider it fortunate that most of the victims were already a part of the story, and only a few casualties from those who were brought into that realm. [He shakes his head.] But it doesn't change that I allowed that massacre to happen.

[ There it is. A casual correction, but a significant one. She recognizes the change in his breath. She knows this is difficult, but he has been avoiding it for far too long. ]

You couldn't control him anymore than Dr Jekyll could. It was his story, his role that was unfairly assigned to you, but it doesn't have to be yours any longer.

[ She swallows her doubt, a lump that had formed at her throat. ]

His ending doesn't have to be your ending.

[He hears what Susato is telling him, but it all sounds like excuses.]

He's still a part of me. He was the way he was, because of what exist inside of me. If he could alter his story, why couldn't I have done the same instead of going the same way as Dr. Jekyll? [Which makes this all the harder to just, treat him like another set piece in a story. He shakes his head.]

Still, I'm trying not let it consume me. It's just...going to take time. These old haunts don't exactly just go away overnight.

...I know. And I apologise, I was not trying to...

[ She trails off. She can't even begin to know the answer to his question. A part of her wants to give him his space. Maybe she should at least free his hand, but she changes her mind when she mentions these thoughts consuming him, and trying not to let them. The last thing he needs is space right now. Her grip holds firm. ]

I did not mean to rush anything. I merely hoped that having more information would allow me to better assist you, but... I suppose this is not as straightforward or clean cut as judicial law. [ Or even running a restaurant. ]

[He watches her deflate in her attempts to help him. His other hand moves to hold hers, now in both his hands.]

I will tell you as much as you need to hear. You are already helping me by staying with me, keeping me anchored with what's real and what isn't. [A small reassuring smile manages to form on his face.] Keep doing what you feel is right. No apology needed.

[ Susato looks up at him at the gesture, eyes flickering in surprise. The warmth and comfort behind his hands and his smile are undeniable, yet she still finds herself shaking her head. ]

It isn't about what I need, or what I feel is right. But... [ A thoughtful pause, and she hums to fill it. ] perhaps I could offer some helpful suggestions.

I just need to stop being difficult, yes. [Half joking and half serious. Hard to say if he'll ever stop being a handful. He tilts his head, being attentive of her all the same.]

What sort of suggestions do you have in mind?

[ Susato looks half amused and half like she wants to roll her eyes in return. There is affection behind it regardless, even as her expression shifts into something more thoughtful. ]

Well... The demons that plague you are not easy to talk about. But you can't keep them bottled up, or else they will continue to eat at you. They will consume you, and I can't allow that to happen, so...

[ She hesitates, but only slightly before she finishes: ]

...So...why not try writing about them?

. . . [It feels like the most obvious suggestion, something he would have thought of. But he would then have to keep the journal hidden somewhere. Maybe that's why he didn't go any further with it.]

That's not a bad idea. I did used to keep a journal in the other world. [At the time, it was to keep records when he was suffering from amnesia.]

[ Well, it's not as if he's lacking room to hide such a thing--even if there are more belongings scattered about now, partially thanks to her. At least she helps keep it tidy. She seems encouraged that he is considering it already, though she knows that will not just solve all of his problems. ]

Did you? [ She didn't know that. Maybe she should have. ] ...You could keep one again. I do.

[ A pause. She definitely had enough journals that she could spare him one, without even even needing to go to the market. ]

In the beginning, I... think it helped me to cope with all the impossible things I've come to experience every day. I could organise my thoughts and feelings, even better than I could verbalise them. [ Even for difficult topics. Especially for difficult topics. Was it the same for him, in that other world? Maybe it would be, here and now. ]

Edited 2022-10-25 01:14 (UTC)

I kept one for a similar reason in the other world. Even back home, I recall keeping one. [It feels so long ago just thinking about his memories of home. Simpler times. He picks up his teacup to take a small sip.]

I will consider it.

Hm. [ Susato sounds pleased with his answer. For a moment, all she can do is continue to keep a watchful eye, but after a moment, she gives his hand another squeeze and quietly moves to stand. There's a creaking of the chair as her leg nudges it out of the way, and she comes around until she is standing behind him. Her hand trails up his arm all the way up to his shoulders.

He's so tense. She can feel it when she grips either side of him. He said to do what she felt was right, so... Her hands start moving in gentle, circular motions, into something of a massage. ]

I am proud of you.

[ She's not the one he wants to hear it from, but she still wants him to know. ]

[He doesn't even question what Susato was doing. Long as her touch didn't leave him, he will quietly observe. A look of surprise forms on his face when he was suddenly treated to a little shoulder massage. Gosh, when was the last time he really took care of his body?

He lets out a long sigh, leaning back, head falling backwards, really taking in the shoulder rub.

"I am proud of you."

He's not sure what led her to say this to him, but he can't help and smile a little to hear that.] Are you...?

[ ...Does she need a reason? Maybe she thinks it's what he wants to hear... tjough that is not always what needs to be said. Maybe in this case, just this once, they're one and the same.

Kazuma seems receptive, so she'll continue, with a nod and noise of quiet agreement. ]

It's progress, is it not? Just promise me that if you ever wish for someone to read what you write, you'll allow me to be first.

[...Progress. What a thing to hear after what he experienced in that nightmare. But maybe that is what he wants to hear. That he's doing fine, better. Be proud of his accomplishment.

He hums quietly, closing his eyes. Trying not to let the nightmares hold him from his rest.] If it comes to that, you'll be the first.

[ Satisfied, Susato unwittingly closes her eyes as well, but allows her hands to do the rest of the talking. Perhaps once they actually realize that the dream has been broadcast, there will be a whole nother conversation to be had, but for now…

Just a quiet moment like this is fine.

She will make it last as long as she is able. For now, she’ll just lean in closer to his ear, speaking softly. ]

Thank you.

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002 - Dream Recording

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