Best day EVER!!!

[helluvaboss]

Sender: Blitzø
Subject: Best day EVER!!!

Comments

[herewardbound]

Okay, what

How the hell did that follow?


... You know what, fine, let's follow this trainwreck of logic to its conclusion.

For the sake of argument, yes.

[helluvaboss]

you show up and some guy literally replaced you

same role same charming attitude everything you had to offer and more. everyone's happier and doing better cuz ur replaced.

ur not gonna hurt ur family bc ur not a freak but also, FUCK THAT NEW GUY?

[herewardbound]

You aren't talking about blood relatives, are you.

[helluvaboss]

who the fuck gives a shit about blood related or not blood related

[herewardbound]

Ooookay. Rapidly losing control of this conversation. Help.

I feel like that statement applies to the overwhelming majority of people. The concept of 'family' as something that extends beyond genetic relation is relatively new and foreign to humanity's meme pool.

[helluvaboss]

yeah well just bc I adopted my daughter doesnt mean I wouldnt kill everyone in this world and then myself if something bad happened to her

shes WONDERFUL and PERFECT and I LOVE HER I didn't have to give birth to her myself for that shit to matter

or knock up some lady idfk

POINT IS everyone at IMP is FAMILY and of fucking course I was mad and oh man I thought about shooting Dante's stupid face off but still was debating that but STILL fuck him and his stupid office and fuck the building I got all of M+Ms stuff and Loonie's stuff and the rest of it burned the fuck up and no matter what thatd be a miserable pain in the ass for business and piss him off and inconvenience him and Dante's lucky hes so fucking hot and charming and cool at fighting bc I made up my mind not to kill him

anyway im over it we're over it now we're partners. so far only in the business way.

[herewardbound]

Behind the book, miles away, Akechi stared at the ceiling.

"Shit."

[herewardbound]

And, after probably too long of a delay, responded.

I suppose I see your point.

I wasn't aware you'd adopted Loona.

That does make a few things make sense.

[helluvaboss]

AND Moxxie and Millie too. Not adopted but FAMILY. F A M I L Y.

Millie Billie is my best girl and Moxx is a perfect pain in the ass and fucks shit up both good and bad and the four of us make up IMP and we are the BEST at our job.

BUT if Dante advocates 4 u and hired u, then I trust ur gonna be good at ur job here too. My business partner has good judgement. Still extending the offer to get properly hired when ur dead and in Hell based totally on that nepotism. Even if you've got a bug up your ass about assassin work

[herewardbound]

It's not as though I'm hiding it.

I've spent the past three years as an assassin for a maniacal fascist as part of his campaign to take the seat of Prime Minister of Japan, and a year or so before that inducing violent psychosis in his political enemies toward the same end.

Some people need to be stopped by any means necessary but I, personally, am never going to kill again unless I, personally, make the decision that it's needed. Not because I was paid to do so, and definitely not because somebody else finds it more convenient for them to die.

[helluvaboss]

Oh yeah gross being a lapdog for some rich privileged asshole is soul sucking

Shits bad in hell theres MAGIC rich assholes instead of just rich assholes and its so fucking humiliating scrambling to make them give u the slightest bit of pity money

nah fuck that im making money doing something im GOOD at

[herewardbound]

Unfortunately, Shido technically qualifies as a magic rich asshole. Or did, at any rate, thanks to my contributions. He didn't have the power of Persona, personally, but he might as well have.

Not my finest hour.

[helluvaboss]

ehh thats ok kid most of us choose shitty things before we find what were actually good for

got plenty of time to take shit into your own hands

[herewardbound]

I'm eighteen.


Which did nothing to address any of the other points in that sentence.

[helluvaboss]

LOL YEAH fuckin called it, ur a kid

I mean now u can fuck ur crush and its not creepy but ur definitely a kid

[herewardbound]

Oh my god stop

[helluvaboss]

stop what

[herewardbound]

There was no response. There was, however, several seconds later, a spreading blotch across one corner of the page.

Almost as though someone had carelessly thrown a book across the room and knocked over a drink, which was now staining the page.

Now what could have caused that?

Certainly not someone hearing the words I am thou, thou art I whispered in the very back of their mind's ear.

That would be ridiculous and frustrating and also, extremely, cosmically hilarious.

[helluvaboss]

[After having a long, hearty laugh about it, Blitz doodled an Akechi with a drink spilled on him. He added an arrow pointing to the doodle-Akechi, and labeled it "kid"]



See u at work ;)

[strawberryredgrave]

I love you too, Blitz.

[helluvaboss]

;)