A Matter Of Opinion

[imp_resario]

Sender: Moxxie
Subject: re: Armaments, traditions, and customs, vis-a-vis names

Reverein, I need a little help in resolving a minor dispute on a matter of opinion. And weapons.

Namely, the naming thereof.

Now, I've always had a mind for the classics in both music and literature, and giving a weapon a name all its own is a way of establishing personal significance, identity, and legacy, to say nothing of gravitas in recognition of or anticipation of the deeds ascribed to it. What, pray tell, would be Der Ring des Nibelungen without Nothung, the accursed sword of Siegfried? What would be the Arthurian legends without Excalibur or La Chanson de Roland without Durandal?

I would assert, therefore, that the practice is timeless, and has a well-earned place in the modern day, and with modern weaponry besides; that something like, for example, a shotgun can have enough significance to its wielder and within its deeds that it is no less worthy of being given a name than the weapons of old.

HOWEVER, in contrast, a certain colleague of mine does not share my views on this matter and describes the entire practice as, and I quote them directly,

"Cringe, T B H".

Which to me not only shows a lack of dramatic appreciation but also ignorance of the proud tradition upheld by the act of doing so. Thus I put it to a vote in a public forum before my fellow dreamers:

Is the practice of naming weapons really just a relic of a bygone sentimentality, or is it a timeless practice honoring the tools of the world's second-oldest trade?

Comments

sender: della duck

[sos_pilot]

dude you don't have to write a whole essay to justify why you think something is cool

if Cranky Cringe doesn't like it, who cares???

cool is in the eye of the beholder

[imp_resario]

It's the principle of the thing, Della.

I'm advocating for a time-honored tradition of valor and glory.

[sos_pilot]

and I bet whoever who got you all mad about this ain't gunna change their mind, even if half of this place agrees with you

just not something worth ruffling your feathers over if you ask me

or whatever you non-birds ruffle

anyway! i'm more of a fisticuffs kinda gal so I've never really had a special place in my heart for any certain weapon

though I did have a phase in my teens about naming my fists after goddesses when I was in a really fighty mood

which was a lot

[imp_resario]

Hold on, you named your fists after goddesses?

What did you even call them? "Nike" and "Athena"?

[sos_pilot]

pretty much! i'd be like

LADY ATHENA WANTS A WORD WITH YOU and bam!

but then i started meeting actual goddesses so it got kinda weird so i stopped that

[imp_resario]

["started meeting actual goddesses".

It was times like this that he had to consciously remind himself he was speaking to a duck. Maybe he shouldn't question how far down the rabbit hole went.]

Were they mad?

I mean, I wonder if naming your fists after deities would be a form of blasphemy or a type of reverence.

[sos_pilot]

[ it's a very, very, very deep hole. ]

well some were cool with it, some weren't.

like, selene!!! She's the goddess of the moon, super chill. but after hanging out with her for so long, it was kind of like using your best friend's name as a weapon cry and that's just weird???

i mean if your friend died in some terrible way and you were seeking vengeance for them, sure, that'd work. but she's a goddess, so, immortal, and probably not going to die in some terrible way anytime soon

[imp_resario]

I might need to hear how you ended up hanging out with the goddess of the moon sometime.

That said, I am quite familiar with seeking vengeance on behalf of the dead. And believe me when I say that the sort of people to hold an undying grudge probably wouldn't be the best namesake for a weapon you'd presumably want to trust with your life.

[sos_pilot]

exactly!!! and it'd be such a downer too. Sometimes you just wanna have fun when you're kicking butt, so you don't need that kinda baggage. Just choose a name that's fun to yell.

As for Selene? Met her on Mount Ithaquack! Me and the fam used to hang out there, but then her dad Zeus tried banning us for a while cause he was SUPER jelly that everyone liked my uncle more than him.

[ the way della somehow raises more questions as she answers may or may not be on purpose. ]

[imp_resario]

[If anything, that description of Zeus being a petty and jealous sort was the most believable part of the whole story. It almost lent the whole of her tale a little more credibility.]

Unfortunately, most of my work is done with long-ranged weapons, and often in ways that rely on elements of surprise. Shouting the name of a weapon before using it would be a bit like shouting "SNEAK ATTACK!" before an ambush.

It'd be fun, but it'd make my job a lot more difficult. So the 'how fun is it to yell' litmus test might not be a factor here.

[sos_pilot]

ah i gotcha

stealth and such has never been my strong point, can't help you much there.

but on the flip side, that means only you get to know the name since you're trying to take down your opponent without knowing you're there, so once again, it only matters if YOU like the name, and caring what anyone else thinks about it is bupkis.