The Old College Try

[mansbestend]

Sender: Denji
To: Everyone
Subject: i write in the book and people read this???


OK so

I had a genius idea and wanna test sumthin

someone come swing at me. one guy and one girl. kick my ass if you want.

then we go eat or whatever after. i dunno.

Comments

[mansbestend]

[He stared blankly for a moment. Ah, this guy had some past with nightmares.]

Ah... well... my job was hunting devils back home. Ain't just little ones like the cucumber devil or the... shit devil or whatever.

I mean big time bastards. Eternity, Katana... Gun...

[He shrugged, but his demeanor had gotten very fatigued all of a sudden, like someone had slapped an immense weight upon his shoulders and head.]

Anyway. Thanks for the heads up, but this place managed to gimme a place to stay, a place to eat, and a bunch of cute girls walkin' around. I'm gonna pay that back a thousand times if whatever bad guys are crawlin' around here start rearin' up.

[mansbestend]

[He was enjoying a cup of hot chocolate when Della came on over. Sure as shit, she was a walking, talking duck. No freakin' way. She was straight out of some comic book or something.]

Yeah, that's me. Sick robot leg!

[mansbestend]

"With vines"... yeah, should have figured.

[So he'd eat with his vines too, he wagered. Dirt in the ramen wouldn't be a complete waste. Just weird. When the order was ready, he took the first and set it on the ground within reach before getting his own.]

Damn, am I glad to see you, noodles. Not a bit of meat in sight, neither.

[He dug right in. The small dizzy feeling he'd been having slowly dissipated. Having saws in the brain made you lose blood pretty quick.]

So which do you like better, that weird black screen stuff or realtime fights?

[mansbestend]

Now that I think about it, maybe you should'a brought a sword if I do pull this off...

[He scratched his head, then shrugged.]

Oh well. I can just stop if it works. Anyway, you can come at me whenever, unless ya wanted a countdown or whatever.

[sos_pilot]

Thanks! It's made out of rocket-ship parts. Long story.

[ Long and depressing, and they're here to have fun by beating the shit out of each other! So she punches her fist into her open palm! ]

So, should I just leap right into kicking your butt, or you got more questions for me?

[whatsamada]

But isn't that technically what are you?

If you fight devils, you fight demons. Although, I'm not sure if that makes it any better.

[your_best_friend]

I'm much, much more familiar with normal FIGHTs. Haven't been in too many realtime FIGHTs. Maybe... like... two or three.

[With that, Flowey nabs some chopsticks and takes a small bit of noodles from his bowl to see how they taste. Aaaaand...]

...Hm! These are actually really decent!

[lemiserable]

[Huh, that sort of sounds like how a Persona's power is summoned during a dire situation...]

So you think people attacking you will cause that power to work again?

Wait, does eating heal your wounds?

I'm still new, by the way.

[If you hadn't caught on.]

1/2

[stillarhino]

I ain't arguin' with ya there. Jus' sayin' that it takes a lot outta ya if you gonna go up against a noctaere, aight?

[Because he gets wanting to protect people and this place too. He still had a tendency ro be reckless, but going head to head with one taught him how to dial things back as well.]

[stillarhino]

[Then, after a moment, he laughs.]

No way a cucumber devil or shit devil's real, yo.

[mansbestend]

Heh... Wasn't makin' that up. There's a devil for everything where I'm from, dude. But a cucumber devil n' shit devil ain't all that strong 'cause people don't get real scared of stuff like that. You got random people who sign up to hunt the little guys.

But people are scared of stuff like... what, snakes? Guns? The dark? There's devils for those, and they're big time. That's where I come in.

[A slow grin.]

...'Cause all devils are afraid of Chainsaw Man.

[He brushed off his shirt.]

Anyway, let's get noodles or somethin'. I think the ramen here can heal ya. Feels that way, anyway.

[mansbestend]

Right? I think they got healing magic in 'em or somethin'. I feel better after a bowl.

[C'mere egg. Into the mouth.]

Anyway, I guess I can see the appeal of FIGHTs, take the time to think up a strategy or somethin' instead of goin' on the fly.

[mansbestend]

It's the 'public safety' stuff that makes it feel kinda stuffy and official. The first one sounds like real superhero stuff.

[mansbestend]

[Talking duck with rocket ship leg. Okay. He accepts this. He nodded.]

Let's get right into it. Questions can come with lunch if I think of any.

[She answered his bread question. That's about all he was curious about.]

[your_best_friend]

The food might be magic food. Monsters never ate physical food and magic food heals you.

[Flowey slurps up another clump of noodles. Yum!]

Yeah, and it's a perfect chance to show off your bullet patterns. You can tell a lot about a monster by looking at them. Just hope someone like me doesn't try to destroy or steak your FIGHT or MERCY or whatever buttons so you're unable to do anything~.

[Immediately after that, Flowey shifts the topic a little.]

The FIGHTS have been like that for a very long time. Monster history books don't say exactly when, but they say it's been that way since before the monsters were sealed into Mt. Ebott.

[whatsamada]

I'm not sure a superhero would randomly ask people to fight him....

[mansbestend]

How many superheroes have you met?

[sos_pilot]

[ She grins, cracking her knuckles. She takes a step back... then dashes forward, swinging her metal leg around. It caught his attention before, so she figures he might still be distracted by it...

... So she uses it as a feint, as she actually intends for a gut-punch! ]

[censorshipnutkin]

Sounds good.

[He's showing up in about 15 minutes, a sparkly carbuncle following him around.]

You Denji?

[creationary]

You mean to say you have another’s heart inside you?

[ That is utterly fascinating. ]

[stillarhino]

[To think there's a place like that somewhere sounds outrageous to Beat, even if what he has experienced himself isn't something that he could easily explain to others. But a wicked grin grows on his face.]

Tha's right. Whoever's going up 'gainst you is gonna be shittin' their pants.

[He hops back to his feet.]

Aight, I'm down for ramen. Le's book it, yo.

[whatsamada]

...None but it still counts!

[mansbestend]

does not.

besides im right here askin! how do superheroes get stronger if they dont train, huh?

[mansbestend]

[He widened his stance and only now wondered if she had a fighting style or anything to think abou-

She came at him with a kick and was NOT about to deal with a metal rod to the ribs again, so he moved to take an arm to it instead. He was rewarded with a punch in what would later be the lunch.

Shit, he was glad he hadn't eaten yet. "Cyborg ducks hit hard" was today's lesson.]

Nice-

[He managed to wheeze back before he retaliated with a knee.]

[whatsamada]

But not where they ask people to fight! Doesn't that seem a little off putting?

Aren't superheroes supposed to be heroic?