The Old College Try

[mansbestend]

Sender: Denji
To: Everyone
Subject: i write in the book and people read this???


OK so

I had a genius idea and wanna test sumthin

someone come swing at me. one guy and one girl. kick my ass if you want.

then we go eat or whatever after. i dunno.

Comments

2/2

[mansbestend]

HAHAHAH... I KNEW YOU WERE OKAY! HAHAHAHAHAAH!

[The SOUL shuddered, shifted color to a solid orange, and he just felt so... so goddamn good.]

Be glad you're not a bad guy, or I could go for some serious gardening!

[mansbestend]

maybe molotov lessons after rifles, yea?

oh nice. i've got some freaks lined up for a fight. i hope one of them's cute

[helluvaboss]

got some weirdos taking u up on the request u posted? lol

dunno if ur gonna get a worthwhile date if u get a girl thats just excited to beat u up.

[your_best_friend]

[Flowey burrows into the ground then pops up inside the attack area, basically breaking the rules, but whatever. He leans in close to examine and prod at the SOUL without doing any sort of damage and he looks very interested.]

Golly, never in all the thousands upon thousands of years I've existed, I've never seen a SOUL capable of doing what you did! This is amazing! How long have you been able to do this?

[mansbestend]

i think every girl i've known has tried to kill me?

even a girl i think i was dating

she was fun

[...God, he misses her.]

[mansbestend]

[Squish squish goes the soul. Smells like blood and dogs.]

Hehhh...? For a few months I guess, yeah. I made a promise to my best friend. Got worried when it didn't work, 'cause how the fuck was I gonna fulfill it??

[helluvaboss]

fuck, kid

you know you can date a girl without her trying to murderfuck you right

my ex is a bitch but she never tried to off me she just fuckin dumped my ass and got me arrested

I think im gonna vet the girls you talk to this is too much and I'm from fucking HELL

[mansbestend]

ehh it's a long story but it's not like that

the girls here seem ok tho. Loona and Octavia haven't killed me yet and they're both cute as hell

[your_best_friend]

Then you can rest easy knowing that it works perfectly fine. Still, it's extremely fascinating!

[Flowey burrows into the ground and returns to where he belongs.]

You want to continue to FIGHT or do you want this to end?

[mansbestend]

Yeah, it is pretty badass, huh!?

Naaah, we're done. This form's made for killin' devils and I'm not about to take up gardening.

[He just needs a minute to relax, take a breath... the SOUL shudders and the color fades back into two tones. He felt his face becoming a weird liquid as the helmet melts off, but he can't see himself changing otherwise.]

Besides, we gotta eat!

[your_best_friend]

Fine by me! All you got to do in a battle like this is to SPARE someone whenever their name is yellow.

[If MERCY is chose, Flowey's name is indeed yellow. And if spared, the fight will end.]

[stillarhino]

[There's a bit of surprise from Beat when the hit connects as hard as it deos. He knows he has to hold back so he didn't cause any lasting injuries to the guy. Unfortunately, that's never been his strong suit. And yet, Denji did ask him to kick his ass.

The internal conflict he was having was enough of a distraction for the kick to connect, hitting him at his side. The force was enough to make him skid against the pavement, a grunt of pain leaving him as his side begins to throb.

Okay, so no pulling any punches. That's what he understood from that. At best, he can keep his psychs and dreamotion abilities out of this fight in the meantime.]

When ya gonna know it's working?

[Beat moves to an offensive stance, feet planted firmly on the ground, hands up in front of him in case Denji attempts to take another swipe at him.]

[sos_pilot]

oh now THAT sounds like fun!!! I'm all in!!!

[adorabrawler]

I have a yellow coat on!

[ Which isn't a trendy fashion statement, so it stands out. ]

I can meet up with you there.

[helluvaboss]

NO

YOU DONT GET TO DATE MY LOONEY

SHE'S PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL AND SENSITIVE AND TOO GOOD FOR YOU YOU DON'T GET TO TAKE MY BABY FROM ME

[mwehehe]

On... switch? I'm not sure I understand.

[Yeah, he's a little (about as little as the Tokyo Tower is) weird.]

[mansbestend]

It doesn't work when I do it whenever so sumthin about this place turned it off I guess. I'm tryina see if fights turn it back on.

Sender: Wendy Carter

[ectoherbology]

You also crave death?

[mansbestend]

haha, protective dad. i knew you were cool but lookin after ur kid is next level good stuff.

im bein honest tho. she's seriously cute. but stuff like 'too good for you' is part of why i do what i do, rite? i kick devil ass, i work hard, and one day a girl wants to date me or whatever.

1/2

[helluvaboss]

[whAT HOW DARE

You called him cool!! Said he was a good dad! Don't distract him! "This little shit!" he cusses at his journal, but despite his tail thumping angrily on the couch, he thought before scribbling a reply.]

[helluvaboss]

Looney deserves the best and she doesnt need some fuckboy thats gonna hurt her and I won't let some dumb BOY hurt her feelings

She IS cute as hell she's my pride and joy and I love her and Via barely knows me but Stolas is gonna give you the same shit when it comes to her too.

[mansbestend]

cool, thanks! im hangin around the job board. im the only one here since it's cold as hell so im not hard to find

[mansbestend]

[Yellow is underappreciated. Orange, too.]

OK, ill look out for ya. thanks!

[mansbestend]

[Oh, that's what MERCY is for. Name was yellow... okay, he selects it.

He gasped and patted himself when the fight ended.]

Whoa...! So all fights go like that for you? Whoever you face is a little heart?

[mansbestend]

Don't know! It kinda just comes naturally. I can pull on my cord and see if things start after hits. Nice punch, by the way. Shit...!

[He reached under his shirt and hooked his finger around the small black loop. He gave the cord a solid yank.

An engine grumbles, sputters out. A bark! Denji sighed.]

Nope. Damn it...! Alright, let's keep goin'!

[Was Pochita in on this secret identity stuff? Wouldn't girls wanna date whoever was Chainsaw Man, instead of regular old Denji? c'mon, buddy, hold up your end of the deal...! He had dreams to fulfill!

He snarled and swung a fist. Love taps weren't gonna do it. It's gotta be a knock-down brawl if he wanted to enter a self-defense mode!]