dreamcrystals | (no subject)

[ Kazuya lifts his arms, pulling Naoya into a tight hug, ducking his head against the crook of his neck. ]

I can't hate you. [ But he's glad, for at least one thing: That the other him said as much, even despite what had transpired. ] And I wouldn't ever want to hurt you. I'm annoyed at what happened, how it happened, sure, but I don't hate you. And I don't want you to have to feel like you need to respect my power, or have to be worried about it or anything. We're brothers, and we're equal.

[ And beyond that, Kazuya bound himself to Naoya to make sure that there was never any way for him to hurt him. ]

[He sure did want to hurt him in the other timeline... or was it merely because he was in the way? He's not sure. He hugs Kazuya back, resting his chin on top of the other's head.]

Well, not respect in the sense that I won't pester you. But in the sense that I know you're powerful and can use it, yes. ... Even still, you're my brother. Even... aside from Abel being within you.

[As awkward as it is to admit. Kazuya's Abel, but he's also not. It's hard to separate the two sometimes... since if Abel were in the modern day, he'd be so similar...]

[He feels like his heart skips for a moment, just enjoying being held by someone who knows him and cares about him. He lets out a few slow breaths and closes his eyes.]

... It's difficult. Sometimes when you lose someone, you see them everywhere. Maybe it's their soul from another life, maybe it's just your imagination. ... I know I've treated you unfairly because of Abel, but it's...

[Damn, what's gotten into him? His face flushes a little more red.]

... You're my brother, either way.

I'm happy to be your brother, you know. Even if I'm not Abel, his soul is still a part of mine. So I don't really mind if you see him in me, you know.

[As long as Naoya recognizes that they're different people, which he does, but also... It's complicated for Kazuya too. He's not Abel. But Abel is him. He's Abel's legacy, in a way. A victim of Cain's, and to an extent as Kazuya, a victim of Naoya's.

He wonders then, if maybe they're doomed to repeat things.

Would that mean that there's a chance in the future for Naoya to kill him? Maybe not him as the Overlord, but maybe as the Messiah. He wonders if other him has thought about that, is as alright with that as he is.]

... And I'm also happy when you call me your brother, you know.

[It's just that the situation is weird, and no one would understand but them!]

[He just feels... warm and happy. He huffs and nuzzles into his brother. It's hard to describe what they have - it's a sibling bond, but it's more than that. It's pain and loss and thousands of years of history, and no one else can understand.]

[He just goes silent, holding Kazuya and feeling him against his chest like they used to when they were younger. He's quiet for a few more long moments before he speaks up.]

... We're very odd, aren't we?

[To say the least.]

You're odd. Don't drag me down to your level.

[He grumbles, but he's really not fighting against it, and what he is, is really more of a token than anything else, since he's perfectly comfortable where he is right now.

After a few moments of silence, he finally speaks up:]

What was Abel like, anyway? You said I'm like him, but there's gotta be some differences, right?

Edited 2023-12-05 03:33 (UTC)

So we're not on the same level then? Hm.

[But he's playing. ... His eyes close at the question though, and his posture grows a bit... less tense. He's always holding himself with tension and care, but that question...]

He was... kind. Kind enough that when it first came to slaughtering a sheep he cried the whole afternoon, even after it was explained to him that it was necessary for us to live. The sheep were the only outside friends he had. ... We were the only human friends we had in the world.

Abel was also fierce. He had to be - he drove off attacks from predators that would harm the sheep. More than once I had to help treat his wounds. ... I'd scold him for being reckless but he'd just smile and say "I'm protecting our family." I... knew he was right, but I was afraid of blood back then. Afraid of part of my brother being lost.

... Ironic now, I suppose. But life's full of little ironies.

He wasn't the one who had to deal with complicated plans, so he spent most of his time whittling or making grass dolls or drawing things in the dirt. We didn't spend as much time together when we were older, but he was always by my side whenever we weren't doing our work. We squabbled sometimes, but we were still best friends.

[Though he'd always suspected their parents loved Abel more. They took more care with him... maybe it was because they didn't know anything they were doing with him, but still...]

I... mm. I loved him more than I could ever express.

[When he found out what he had done to Abel's soul in the process of killing him... that life didn't end well.]

Only when it comes to this.

[But he listens, though. Listens to everything it is that Naoya says, because he asked. He wants to know, about this person who he shares the same soul of. A shattered soul now complete within him, as strange as it sounds.

From what Naoya says, they do have a lot of similarities. Kazuya would do anything for his family. For his friends. To protect them at the cost of himself, even. Maybe he doesn't have the urge to do anything artistic like whittling or making dolls or drawing, but that's not to say he'd probably be bad at that either.

Naoya says he loves Abel more than he could express. Kazuya knows that in the core of his very being. Knows that the love he has for Abel is also the love he has for him. It's not lesser, it's equal, because both him and Abel are equal parts each other.

He's quite, but he does reach a hand up to stroke Naoya's hair in a comforting manner.]

I'm sorry. What happened shouldn't have happened. It wasn't your fault.

No, it shouldn’t have.

[He leans into his brother’s touch.]

… I don’t… those last moments when I saw the light leave his eyes… I wept. And then when He asked me where my brother was and I said I didn’t know… I didn’t know where he had gone. I had no sense of an afterlife or what happens to souls after they leave. I told Him I wasn’t my brother’s keeper because it was on Him at that point.

I know I don’t need to explain His scripture to you. But… it feels like you should know. No one ever asks the ‘villain’ what his side of the story is. And then to see my story handed down through the generations and twisted and…

I… hmph. I know you know me as someone aloof and caring for little, but… you do know I wasn’t always like that, correct? I… well, I was never truly sensitive, but… it took a long time for me to grow this cold.

You're not cold, Naoya.

[ Not to him, at least. Kazuya can definitely remember the many times Naoya looked after him, how many times he'd bandaged his cuts and scrapes. Always gentle, always gently chiding him to be more careful, and always affectionate. ]

Well, maybe to others, but not to me.

[ And he can only imagine, the slow descent into insanity, how it would change a person to have to live so long, to have to see so much without the possibility of an End. You'd have to close yourself off at that point, just to protect yourself.

Which makes the fact that Naoya, even briefly, ever shared the softer moments all the more precious.

Kazuya doesn't want to let him down. ]

Well. You're an exception.

[At first it was because of Abel, but... watching his cousin grow was gratifying, in a way. Perhaps it was because he had plans for the boy. Perhaps it was something else entirely. He's not sure, and he's not sure he wants to really know the answer.]

[He carefully cards his fingers through the other's hair, pulling out any tangles he encounters.]

... I'm sure the girls who tried to romance me in school disagree with that assessment.

[It was always weird, being 'wooed' by people who were barely a blink of an eye old for him.]

You're going to mess up my headphones if you keep doing that.

[Petting his hair, he means. Though that would be pretty hard to do, considering the connecting wires are at the back of his head. It is a soothing little motion though, and Kazuya isn't too grumpy about it. It just reminds him of when he was a lot younger, that's all.]

Well. They don't matter. Especially not now anyway. Especially since being an accomplice to the rise of the King of Demons is probably incredibly not hot. Your dating pool has significantly decreased.

Heh. You'll be fine. Your headphones will survive. You need to take them off at some point anyway or you're going to damage your ears.

[Fuss, fuss...]

I don't know, I'm sure there's plenty of people who find that kind of power attractive.

[People he wants to date? Probably not.]

I don't have to take them off at all.

[ He barely takes them off to sleep as it is. ]

And those aren't the kinds of people you should be dating anyway. Especially if they think you have any kind of power over me.

[ Which, Naoya does, to an unfortunate extent. They both know it, but Kazuya can definitely put up an act all the same. ]

Mm. They're fools if they think anything can get between us.

[He hugs Kazuya a little tighter. This may not be his Kazuya, but it's still nice.]

... We're a team. And that's the best present I can ask for.

[Sappy, maybe. But true.]

Gross.

[ Is the idle comment he makes, and there's absolutely zero bite to it as he starts to fully relax between Naoya and the couch now. He's definitely not going amywhere soon, unless Naoya has other plans. ]

I won't ever abandon you. Not for anything, and not for anyone.

[If only the other Kazuya felt the same...]

Good. Because I'm not going to let you go.