backdated pre-dream

[legbreakings]

Sender: Jiang Cheng
To: Everyone
Subject: WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS

I have been very patient with these ridiculous clothes we have been forced into! They are terrible and constricting for doing anything in them and they are even more uncomfortable for sleeping, but I have been patient!

But every time I destroy one, it has been replaced with something WORSE

This one has LIGHTS and IT SINGS WHEN YOU TOUCH THE BELLY!

How do I make this stop?

[ There is a helpful picture attached to his complaint, though it is a little blurry and wobbly in places as he struggled to properly visualize onto the page the atrocity he saw in the mirror. It gets the point across anyway. This is a Christmas sweater depicting a jolly reindeer whose antlers are decorated with Christmas lights. As in, there are actual lights attached to the sweater. ]

Comments

[piromare]

Okay. You called it "ridiculous", "terrible", and "uncomfortable". I'm pretty sure it can tell.

Or are those compliments from wherever you come from?

[legbreakings]

But all of that is true! Am I supposed to flatter a piece of clothing?

[piromare]

You don't have to be nice to it, but you'd probably be better served keeping your mouth shut.

[ after a moment or two... ]

You could also not touch the lights. Or the belly.

[legbreakings]

I'm going to try to avoid it but it is difficult not to touch the belly.

I'm not good at keeping my mouth shut about my displeasure.

[piromare]

Then eventually, it sounds like annoying sweaters will be the least of your concerns. If it knows it's riling you up, then it'll keep going at it.

... besides, it could be worse. What if it made sounds too?

[legbreakings]

How did you know that would happen? This one is already making sounds. None of the previous ones did that and I want it to go away again.

[piromare]

You could try covering it up with another sweater. Hopefully of the mute kind.

Other than the singing, is it doing anything else?

[legbreakings]

There are blinking lights, too. They are usuallly just illuminated but they start flashing when the singing begins.

I will try wearing other clothes over it, and muffling the sound that way.

[piromare]

That'd probably help... just be careful about getting too hot.

( he still thinks jiang cheng could use an attitude adjustment, but!!! )

Not just temperature-wise.

( can't really help himself. )

[legbreakings]

What are you implying with that!

[piromare]

Nothing. Don't worry about it.

Make sure to keep your sweater calm. Just saying. Don't rile it up any further.

[legbreakings]

But how do you keep a sweater calm! I never did anything to it in the first place!

I only ruined the other ones. I didn't even try to set this one on fire, though it is ugly enough to warrant it.

[piromare]

Take care of it. Maybe give it a wash? Not sure if that'll affect it in general.

Or say something nice to it.

( he's being a little sarcastic with that last one. )

[legbreakings]

[ Yeah, he does catch the sarcasm. Hrmpf! ]

That's not being helpful!