backdated pre-dream

[legbreakings]

Sender: Jiang Cheng
To: Everyone
Subject: WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS

I have been very patient with these ridiculous clothes we have been forced into! They are terrible and constricting for doing anything in them and they are even more uncomfortable for sleeping, but I have been patient!

But every time I destroy one, it has been replaced with something WORSE

This one has LIGHTS and IT SINGS WHEN YOU TOUCH THE BELLY!

How do I make this stop?

[ There is a helpful picture attached to his complaint, though it is a little blurry and wobbly in places as he struggled to properly visualize onto the page the atrocity he saw in the mirror. It gets the point across anyway. This is a Christmas sweater depicting a jolly reindeer whose antlers are decorated with Christmas lights. As in, there are actual lights attached to the sweater. ]

Comments

Sender: Zhao

[seemagicshit]

That is certainly a bold outfit you're wearing.

[You are not helping at all, Zhao.]

[legbreakings]

[ Nope really not helping though Jiang Cheng would laughing too if it were someone else's misfortune. ]

I didn't choose to wear it at all! It chose me and I want it to stop! Or at least stop singing about reindeers.

[seemagicshit]

It comes with music? Is the same repetitive song because I'd want to rupture my eardrums.

[legbreakings]

Yes it is always the same song.

About some reindeer. I'm not even a cattle farmer!

[seemagicshit]

I think I might even know what song you're talking about. Pretty sure it has nothing to do with whether you keep livestock or not.

Sender: Noel Vermillion

[bulletic]

It's just an assumption, but if it gets worse after being destroyed, then have you perhaps considered... not destroying them? Oh, and for what it's worth, I think your outfit is really pretty! Very festive, too!

[legbreakings]

What is supposed to be festive about this atrocity! It's ugly!

And I had to destroy them since they won't come off!

[bulletic]

Ah, are you familiar with a holiday called "Christmas"? It's quite popular where I'm from, and a joyous occasion to spend time with friends and family! We exchange gifts, wish for a brighter future and eat lots of good food!

[ Someone's excited. ]

Those decorations seem to be related to this holiday. I'm sure it will help you get in the festive mood!

[legbreakings]

This is related to Christmas? That explains it! I hate this Christmas festivity, especially the part when that creature climbs down your chimney and tries to murder you.

[ His only experience with Christmas has been in a horror game, not that he understands the difference. ]

[bulletic]

Oh no, it's nothing of sorts! Santa Claus is a kind, elderly man who brings presents to well-behaved kids! And even the naughty ones only get coal... he would never do anything to hurt anyone!

[ She's absolutely appalled that someone could miss the point of Christmas by this much. This must be amended immediately! ]

sender: lio

[piromare]

... maybe it's your attitude that's pissing your sweater off.

[legbreakings]

There is nothig wrong with my attitude!

[piromare]

Okay. You called it "ridiculous", "terrible", and "uncomfortable". I'm pretty sure it can tell.

Or are those compliments from wherever you come from?

[legbreakings]

But all of that is true! Am I supposed to flatter a piece of clothing?

[piromare]

You don't have to be nice to it, but you'd probably be better served keeping your mouth shut.

[ after a moment or two... ]

You could also not touch the lights. Or the belly.

sender: wei wuxian

[mannerless]

IT SINGS

That's hardly fair, why won't MINE sing?? It even LOOKS like it should sing, it has three little mouths and everything, but all that happens when I touch the belly is


a bit of a rumbling (you don't happen to know if shijie's cooking, do you?)

[legbreakings]

Don't make my sister cook for you just because you are lazy, you insatiable ingrate!

I wonder if we could swap. You and this sweater are equally annoying.

[mannerless]

( he asked if she was, with the intention of conveniently being there to eat if she so happened to be - making her cook was never part of the agenda. but! he'll let that go uncorrected in favor of: )

You haven't even seen mine yet! Who's to say that you'd even like it?

[legbreakings]

No but it can't be worse than this one.

I'm going to sleep on my belly tonight and then we'll see how you like it.

[mannerless]

Terribly bold of you to assume your mouthy beast won't think you've caught something beneath you but need help in killing it.

sender: jiang yanli

[soups]

I think it's something that you must simply get used to for the time being, A-Cheng. I know I have gotten quite accustomed to the noise and sleeping on only my back.

❰ her own personal hell is slinking around in this, and the plastic-y sound of shuffling and clanging together has simply become background noise to her day. ❱

The more you remove, the more I believe the magic intends to spite you.

Though I may suggest trying to find another that is less noisy. I think it's exciting the animals more than necessary.

[legbreakings]

It does keep getting worse with every one. But it's so hard not to destroy them. They aren't just ugly but also uncomfortable to wear. I miss my robes.

I will just have to hope for the next one being quieter, even if it is even uglier. It can't get worse, right?

WTF I NEVER GOT A NOTIF

[soups]

I do not know if it could be worse, but less noisy I believe is going in the right direction.

In any case, I believe in your strength to face such a daunting task. If your jie can withstand an uncomfortable sweater, I know that someone as strong as Jiang Cheng of Yunmeng Jiang can as well.

[legbreakings]

Oh! I wasn't trying to complain too much.

Yours is awful. These "cups" things look far more annoying than a singing sweater, even.

[ A moment's thought. ]

You think I'm strong?

[soups]

I've become accustomed to the sound and figured out how to avoid the noise of them as much as possible, but there are still moments where they clink together incessantly. They only seem useful for holding small things, which moments don't arise for it often.

Of course. I would say that it's a fact, irregardless of my thoughts. But do your think your eldest sister wouldn't think such of you?