Dream 01 || Don't ever let me think, I was never meant to speak

[fishflakes]

Sender: Toge Inumaki
To: Everyone
Subject: Passive Dream Recording (CW: Blood, Implied violence, implied body horror)

[The dream is quiet when it first begins to broadcast…. or, at least, it seems quiet. There is an ambient white noise that is prevalent all around, a dull droning that is both incessant and easy to ignore at once. But if one were to listen carefully, they’ll come to realize that it’s not a white noise at all, but rather, whispering; multiple hushed voices all talking as one, a multitude of different murmured conversations that meld into one incoherent buzz. There is very little light in the dream, the surroundings cast into shadows. In the center of the dream, however, is a small boy.]

[The dream seems to be from the perspective of this small boy. He is sitting with his knees up to his chest, his arms wrapped around them tightly. His shoulders shake as his frame trembles with soft, hitched breaths that could easily be missed amidst the whispered voices. A shadowy figure appears looking to be vaguely like an adult, but there are no defining features to this person other than their humanoid shape. They speak out, louder than the whispering voices.]

A child born with the clan’s seal… He will no doubt possess a great amount of Cursed Energy. The Inumaki Clan has been granted a gift.

[Other shadowy figures begin to appear, all apparently looking down at the small, huddled boy. One by one they speak, talking over the whispered voices.]

He bears the mark? He is just a boy…
Such a cursed child… he must be monitored carefully.
Perhaps the Inumaki Clan will finally gain recognition among the three great sorcerer families!
I feel for his mother, having to raise such a child…

[The shadows shift, fading somewhat to reveal an empty schoolyard. The scenery seems to be faded, as if viewed through a lens or veil. Shadowy figures surround the small boy, though their features are indistinct. They all seem to be laughing mockingly, and one of them speaks up.]

What’s wrong, Toge? Cat got your tongue? If you got a problem with how we play, then say so!

[The other figures laugh, full of jeers and ridicule. The small child who is at the center of the dream ducks his face further into his legs, tugs his knees closer to his chest. He whispers in a small voice.]

Please…

[The shadowy ‘children’ suddenly warp, their forms condensing and stretching oddly, violently. Their laughter quickly turns to screams of horror and cries of pain. Over the screams, another voice is heard.]

Toge, what did you do?! What happened to them?!

[The scenery shifts, this time displaying what looks like a traditional Japanese-style home. There are more shadowy adults, looming like oppressive monoliths. They murmur to one another, each voice speaking out over one other.]

Did you hear? That boy cursed someone again. That poor child’s family…
That power is dangerous! It should be sealed away!
This is to be the heir of the Inumaki Clan? He can barely control his own strength.
Haven’t you learned? You need to control this, or else you’ll just hurt everyone around you.

[The boy covers his ears with his hands, grips his hair.]

I-I didn’t mean to..!

[He pleas quietly, but his words are drowned out by the voices that keep coming.]

Don’t you know better?
Why did you curse them, Toge?
The Inumaki Clan depends on you to carry its name, Toge.
This is why it’s dangerous, Toge.
That boy is dangerous!
You’re dangerous, Toge. You need to—

[The small boy trembles, until finally, he shouts out over the other voices.]

BE QUIET!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!

[His voice rings with Cursed Energy, a sharp note amidst the cacophony of voices and shadows. At once, the voices go silent, and the shadows disintegrate under the force of his voice. Even the droning ambient whispers have fallen silent at the command. All is utterly, completely, perfectly silent.]

[Amidst the silence, the young boy gasps and grips his mouth, coughing into his hands several times. When he pulls his shaking hands away, they are covered in blood. He stares at them for a moment, before he wraps his arms around his middle, quietly sobbing into his legs.]

[When he speaks again, it’s barely above a whisper.]

I’m sorry… I’m sorry…

Comments

Sender: Serah Farron

[mooglebow]

[Serha's been seeing some pretty upsetting nightmares this month so far, but this one breaks her heart. Sure, she scolded the children in New Bodhum while she was their teacher, but she would never go that far, not like what she saw here.]

You don't still think you're cursed, do you?

[It's a simple question, but there's probably not a simple answer to it. She's expecting that, but... maybe she'll be surprised.]

[fishflakes]

[It was definitely an unsettling dream, especially for Toge. And after spending some time searching for any telltale signs of him accidentally using his Cursed Speech in his sleep, he forces himself to take a breath, trying to calm his shaken nerves. It's only then that he even realizes his journal is flashing at him.]

[There isn't a simple answer, not really. Having a Cursed Technique automatically means that one is cursed in some way, so in a way the dream wasn't wrong. A part of him doesn't want to reply back, whether out of fear or shame or what have you. But after a moment, he writes a reply back.]

It's not wrong.

[The characters printed are still a little shaky.]

[mooglebow]

[...well, she can't say she knows him, so saying "it's not true" would be shallow.]

I don't want to just say shallow words, so I won't say I don't think you are— I don't know you. But I can say I don't think that how you were treated is right. No one should be treated like that.

[Not a child, not an adult, not anyone in between.]

[fishflakes]

[Toge has to read those words a few times, since his post-nightmare state is surprised to receive such kind words from a stranger. He knows that his small pool of friends would say such things, but a complete stranger... it's a bit new for him. He's still getting used to such kindness from people he would normally never interact with. People who were to be considered civilians, not friends.]

It's just old news at this point is all.
I have a power that can be very dangerous if not handled carefully.
They weren't always harsh, but my family usually reminded me of that fact anytime I messed up and used it without knowing.

[The nightmare may have been an amplified and exaggerated form of what had happened when he was younger, but even the wildest nightmares have a small kernel of truth in them. He knows that all the jujutsu clans, in some way, were strict about their upbringing and about cultivating their future heirs. When raising children with powers that can literally kill people, such steps were often necessary. It did make for an upbringing that was usually quite different from ordinary children, though.]

[mooglebow]

Me too!

[...well, sort of. She has no control over it, but it doesn't hurt anyone! ...just her.]

But mine doesn't hurt anyone, just myself. I can't really control it, it just happens. But I still mean it, if anyone does that to you here, I'll go punch them right in the nose for you!

[Look Snow taught her a lot of things, but she's a pro at punching someone directly in the face. Her sister was a great teacher too, considering how many times she punched Snow in the face....... :')]

[fishflakes]

You do?

[Thats another thing about coming to this strange dreamworld. Meeting other people who aren’t jujutsu sorcerers, but who have unique powers of their own, unique circumstances of their own, and yet still sharing similar problems. It’s a strange sense of solidarity, one Toge wasn’t expecting to find without other jujutsu sorcerers present.]

[It’s strange, but it’s nice.]

Heh.
I don’t know if any of my family would ever come here, but if they do… I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you.

[It may be hard to convey over text, but he really does mean it.]

[mooglebow]

Yeah. I can see the future in bursts, but only if something changes... and when it does, I'll see it. Anytime I see it, it means I lose some of my life, so it gets cut short.

[It's really crappy. But He's most definitely not alone in weird powers that could hurt people.]

What do your powers do? They looked like... your voice? Something that your voice can do?

[fishflakes]

[Wow, that’s a powerful ability. But with such a cost… it reminds him of the Heavenly Restrictions some jujutsu sorcerers are born with, where they sacrifice something in exchange for increased power.]

Wow. That must really suck. It hasn’t happened a lot, has it?

[That would really suck if it happened a lot, and if her life was cut down significantly. How much is her life even shortened? He can’t help but think what a grim power she had.]

Yeah. Mine is something called Cursed Speech. Whenever I talk, I have the power to force someone to listen to what I say and do what I tell them to. It doesn’t matter what it is, if I say it, they have to do it.

[From simple orders like “come here”, “don’t move”, or “sit down”, to more forceful ones like “sleep”, “run away”, “get crushed”, or “explode”. If it can be interpreted as an order, his Cursed Speech amplified the compulsion of his words to the point where the listener was forced to obey whether they wanted to or not.]

I used to accidentally use it on people when I was younger, before I knew how it worked. And the power can sometimes rebound on me and damage my throat. Now, I learned to talk using code words in order to have a conversation with someone.

[Which was why he spoke in harmless riceball ingredients instead of words, to protect others and himself. It could be frustrating, but it was safer than accidentally cursing someone and ending up coughing up blood.]

[mooglebow]

[Ah... well...

It takes a bit for her to respond to that and she's just gonna. Pass right on over that question. :)]

So if we were to talk in person, you'd be using something else to talk? Just to make sure you don't accidentally say something like... 'make me dinner'?

[Okay maybe not quite like that but CLOSE ENOUGH?]

[fishflakes]

[He does notice the lack of response to his question, but despite his own curiosity he figures it's probably best to leave it be. He probably shouldn't be asking about how long or short someone's lifespan is, after all; even if they were close friends, that's quite the conversation to have. So he lets the topic drop for now.]

Yeah, more or less. I'd be saying onigiri fillings instead of talking like we are now. Cause if I said "make me dinner", you'd be forced to cook for me whether you wanted to or not. If I said "go home", you'd go home. I can't turn it off, so I had to learn to be careful.

[He's had to learn to exploit a few loopholes, essentially.]

[mooglebow]

Huh. I think it's neat you found a way to get around it, though! That takes a lot of hard work, and you've made it work for you. So, if I met you in person, is there a way to translate ingredients into what you want to say?

[And Serah's not just saying that either; she's proud of him! If there was a way around the Eyes of Etro that she could find, she'd work to do it too. But she does want to learn how to "translate", so to speak, what he'd be saying if they do talk face to face, just so he wouldn't have to write everything or something.]

[fishflakes]

[It takes Toge a couple seconds to reply, because the reality of others wanting to actually understand him still sends him for a loop, even after meeting a few people here who were willing to learn. He doesn't get out much back home, and is content to let others talk for him, so seeing others actively trying to learn his strange language? It fills him with a warmth each time he encounters it.]

Salmon = yes
Bonito flakes = no
Kombu = hello
Mustard leaf = okay
Cod roe = usually trying to get your attention
Tuna = I'll say this to try and get you to look at something

There's others I might use but these ones I use the most.

[It wasn't an extensive list, and sometimes his meaning might change based on his inflection or actions, but that was the basics of his speech patterns.]

[mooglebow]

[There's some time before she responds; she's busy writing up what's he's said just in case— it's good to know how to communicate, or in this case how he'd communicate to her!]

I think I got it. So... hearing it in person if I asked you a yes/no question, I'd get 'salmon' in response, or if you needed me to see something, I'd be hearing you say 'cod roe' to me. That doesn't seem so hard.

[...but she has to know, because she's curious:]

Do people ever think you want to eat that, though? Like, they hear you say it and think 'oh, he's hungry and that's what he wants'?

[fishflakes]

That's the basics of it, yeah.

I have before. I know it can be a little confusing to those who aren't used to it. I've had people look at me like I was crazy, so when I'm among civilians I just pretend I can't talk at all. It's a little easier than explaining why I talk the way I do.

[mooglebow]

I guess I'll know your secret! I'm Serah, by the way. That way I'm not just some nameless person who you've told all this to.

Are you feeling better now?

[fishflakes]

Hehe, I guess you do. I'm Toge Inumaki. Nice to meet you.

I am, yeah. Talking helped. Thank you.

[mooglebow]

Anytime. If you need someone to talk to, I don't mind being an ear for you. Maybe now you'll have better dreams if you go back to sleep, too.

[fishflakes]

I appreciate it. And I don't mind being one for you either, if you need it.

But yeah, I'm gonna try to get back to sleep. Thanks for the talk.