Dream 01 || Don't ever let me think, I was never meant to speak

[fishflakes]

Sender: Toge Inumaki
To: Everyone
Subject: Passive Dream Recording (CW: Blood, Implied violence, implied body horror)

[The dream is quiet when it first begins to broadcast…. or, at least, it seems quiet. There is an ambient white noise that is prevalent all around, a dull droning that is both incessant and easy to ignore at once. But if one were to listen carefully, they’ll come to realize that it’s not a white noise at all, but rather, whispering; multiple hushed voices all talking as one, a multitude of different murmured conversations that meld into one incoherent buzz. There is very little light in the dream, the surroundings cast into shadows. In the center of the dream, however, is a small boy.]

[The dream seems to be from the perspective of this small boy. He is sitting with his knees up to his chest, his arms wrapped around them tightly. His shoulders shake as his frame trembles with soft, hitched breaths that could easily be missed amidst the whispered voices. A shadowy figure appears looking to be vaguely like an adult, but there are no defining features to this person other than their humanoid shape. They speak out, louder than the whispering voices.]

A child born with the clan’s seal… He will no doubt possess a great amount of Cursed Energy. The Inumaki Clan has been granted a gift.

[Other shadowy figures begin to appear, all apparently looking down at the small, huddled boy. One by one they speak, talking over the whispered voices.]

He bears the mark? He is just a boy…
Such a cursed child… he must be monitored carefully.
Perhaps the Inumaki Clan will finally gain recognition among the three great sorcerer families!
I feel for his mother, having to raise such a child…

[The shadows shift, fading somewhat to reveal an empty schoolyard. The scenery seems to be faded, as if viewed through a lens or veil. Shadowy figures surround the small boy, though their features are indistinct. They all seem to be laughing mockingly, and one of them speaks up.]

What’s wrong, Toge? Cat got your tongue? If you got a problem with how we play, then say so!

[The other figures laugh, full of jeers and ridicule. The small child who is at the center of the dream ducks his face further into his legs, tugs his knees closer to his chest. He whispers in a small voice.]

Please…

[The shadowy ‘children’ suddenly warp, their forms condensing and stretching oddly, violently. Their laughter quickly turns to screams of horror and cries of pain. Over the screams, another voice is heard.]

Toge, what did you do?! What happened to them?!

[The scenery shifts, this time displaying what looks like a traditional Japanese-style home. There are more shadowy adults, looming like oppressive monoliths. They murmur to one another, each voice speaking out over one other.]

Did you hear? That boy cursed someone again. That poor child’s family…
That power is dangerous! It should be sealed away!
This is to be the heir of the Inumaki Clan? He can barely control his own strength.
Haven’t you learned? You need to control this, or else you’ll just hurt everyone around you.

[The boy covers his ears with his hands, grips his hair.]

I-I didn’t mean to..!

[He pleas quietly, but his words are drowned out by the voices that keep coming.]

Don’t you know better?
Why did you curse them, Toge?
The Inumaki Clan depends on you to carry its name, Toge.
This is why it’s dangerous, Toge.
That boy is dangerous!
You’re dangerous, Toge. You need to—

[The small boy trembles, until finally, he shouts out over the other voices.]

BE QUIET!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!

[His voice rings with Cursed Energy, a sharp note amidst the cacophony of voices and shadows. At once, the voices go silent, and the shadows disintegrate under the force of his voice. Even the droning ambient whispers have fallen silent at the command. All is utterly, completely, perfectly silent.]

[Amidst the silence, the young boy gasps and grips his mouth, coughing into his hands several times. When he pulls his shaking hands away, they are covered in blood. He stares at them for a moment, before he wraps his arms around his middle, quietly sobbing into his legs.]

[When he speaks again, it’s barely above a whisper.]

I’m sorry… I’m sorry…

Comments

Sender: Zhao

[seemagicshit]

[Yeah, they live in the same space, but after something like that, maybe Toge wanted some distance to collect himself. So Zhao gives him a bit of privacy and writes back.]

Well. That probably sucked if all of that is a memory and not just a dream. So I only have a bit to add.

Umeboshi. Beef rib. Osekihan.

[fishflakes]

[Toge does actually appreciate the space, even if he knows the man is but a room or two away. When he replies back, his handwriting is a little shaky.]

Thanks, Zhao.

I'll be fine. It was just a dream.

[Despite the words, Zhao can probably feel the chill permeating from Toge's room.]

[seemagicshit]

Uh hunh. You need anything?

And can you give me names so if they arrive I know who to punch?

[fishflakes]

[Toge wants to reply that no, he doesn't really need anything, if only out of reflex. He's always just... handled things on his own, for the most part. So this sort of thing he's ready to reply thusly, build those walls up... but then Zhao's second comment actually makes him chuckle. A small, breathy one. And that makes him hesitate on flat-out refusal.]

I have no idea if anyone from my family would ever show up here, if they could.

[seemagicshit]

Yeah, kinda sucks. Not much you can do about where you were born into.

But you can always find one that's better. Trust me.

[fishflakes]

Hah, yeah. I know that for a fact.

Sometimes I feel closer to my friends than I do my own family.

[seemagicshit]

What kind of people are your friends? Do they have powers like you do? Do you punch out monsters together?

[fishflakes]

Yeah, we all do. Not the same as my Cursed Speech, but all of my friends have their own Cursed Technique that they can use. We use our powers to fight cursed spirits - think of them like ghosts or monsters that hurt people. We all work together to exorcise them and make things safe for everyone.

I have three classmates: Maki, Yuta, and Panda. Maki can't use Cursed Energy, but she works harder than all of us and is the best person I know at using cursed tools and weapons. Yuta's got insanely strong Cursed Energy and more power than he knows what to do with, but he's also super soft and wouldn't hurt a fly without feeling bad about it. And Panda's a panda. We're all really good friends.

[seemagicshit]

They sound pretty great and

Hold the fuck up. Panda? You're friends with an actual panda that can punch monsters in the balls?

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT THAT'S SO FUCKING COOL.

[fishflakes]

[Okay, seeing that actually does draw more of a chuckle from Toge.]

I don’t know if he specifically aims for the balls, but he does punch things a lot. Panda’s pretty unique.

I have an underclassman who also uses a lot of punching with his Cursed Technique, too.

[He pauses for a moment, before writing some more.]

Hey, do we have any tea or leftover soup or something?
I think I could use something warm right now.

[seemagicshit]

If I was a panda I would always punch for the balls because why the fuck wouldn't I? Who's gonna stop me? I'm a fucking panda.

Yeah, we got something. Just give me a few minutes. In return, you have to write out a story of your friends.

[fishflakes]

I don't think being a panda and punching people in the balls are mutually exclusive things. Nothing's stopping you from punching people in the balls.

But if you're dedicated I'm sure you can find a panda suit somewhere.

[He thinks that Panda would probably enjoy talking to Zhao, if he were here.]

You're giving me homework in exchange for something warm??

[seemagicshit]

It's not homework. Your friends just sound really cool and I want to hear a story about them.

I'll even tell you a story about me if you want to be fair.

[fishflakes]

Okay, that's fair.

I'll meet you out in the kitchen.

[The fact that he feels okay enough to come out is a good sign, and eventually the cold air permeating from behind his closed door fades. But he will still take a little while to come out of his room, his journal tucked under his arm and a hand running through his sleep-mussed hair.]

[seemagicshit]

[Although other people are certainly allowed in the kitchen to make what they want, it's a little understood that Zhao is the master of this part of the treehouse. He seems to be finishing up a bit of miso and some rice along with a bit of tea.]

Hey, there you are. Pull up a chair and I'll serve us. Do you want rice to go with your soup and tea?

[fishflakes]

[Zhao's domain seems to definitely be the kitchen, and Toge is more than willing to let the older man take over. He hasn't made anything that was inedible and hasn't burned the tree down yet, so he's fine with Zhao claiming that particular area of their living space.]

Bonito flakes.

[He says it with a shake of his head. The rice smells good, but Toge's not really feeling up to putting too much effort into eating. But he does take a seat at the table, placing his journal carefully on the table as he does. He doesn't offer much more for now, just kind of focusing shaking that funky feeling from his head.]

[seemagicshit]

All right, more for me.

[In a few minutes, there's a cup of tea and bowl of miso in front of Toge and all those things plus rice for Zhao as they sit.]

Like I said. Dreams about family can suck. Especially if your family is fucked up. Best thing you can do is remind yourself that you're here and not back there.

[fishflakes]

[So lost in his thoughts, he actually blinks and gives a little start when the tea and miso are placed in front of him. He hums in acknowledgement, reaching for the cup of tea. He doesn't drink it right away, warming his hands with it instead.]

[He listens to Zhao speak, and... well, the older man isn't wrong. He looks up at Zhao, giving him a stare for a moment before nodding.]

Tuna mayo.

[He's honestly not wrong. And he is grateful that he's here, rather than back home. Especially after a nightmare like that. And even though he's not surrounded by his friends from home, he's at least got one here in the form of Zhang.]

[After a small delay, he'll tug down his collar and take a sip of the tea. It's warm, and soothing right down to his core. He doesn't say anything, but Zhao might feel the temperature around Toge begin to warm up a bit.]

[seemagicshit]

[Temperature is important for food, especially the kind you unintentionally generate. People feeling good about his food is a comfort to him, so the kitchen is just the right bit of light and warmth to enjoy the meal.]

So while you're relaxing, promised you I'd tell you a story or answer a question. So write down whatever it is you're thinking.

[fishflakes]

[Toge blinks up from his tea and looks at Zhao, snapped from his reverie at the offer. He lets out a small breath, thinking over what sort of question he wants to ask. In the end, he writes out a simple sentence before offering his journal for Zhao to read.]

What are your friends like back home?

[seemagicshit]

What are they like?

[That's certainly a question. The air feels heavy for a bit, as Zhao is still trying to process what it means to have real friends after so long. He doesn't want to get into all the deep sentimentality and shit. Might not be ready just yet for all of that.

So instead he starts writing back in the journal.]

Saeko = She runs a bar and has to put up with all of us guys. Can drink us all under the table and I think she might be older than me, but if I ask her that she's going to put her foot up my ass.

Adachi = Goddamn old. Used to be a cop. He's pretty funny though and fun to tease 'cause we're so different in age.

Nanba = He used to be a nurse and he lived on the street for a while. Also fun to tease but he keeps us alive when we get up to shady shit.

Joon-gi Han = You ever like you're in trouble if someone calls you by your full name? You get in trouble if you DON'T use his full name. He is a beast and you do not fuck with Joon-gi Han. But aside from that, now that I'm getting to know him, I think I like him the most.

Kasuga-kun = Well, you've seen him. Goddamn force of nature. He keeps us together and now we're all learning to know each other.

I joined up last but they never thought less of me. They didn't have to let me join, but they did.

[Even with just writing out the words, some of Zhao's feelings escape in the form of shadows behind him. Just a form crouched down and surrounded by threatening darkness until it changes to five figures with one offering a hand to the crouched down figure.]

[fishflakes]

[It's interesting to see Zhao write out his response, rather than speak it out... but Toge watches him, curious to see what Zhao has to say. And he knows that sometimes, writing things out helps to get all those complex thoughts out of his head.]

[What he doesn't expect to see, however, is the shadowy people who appear behind him. Toge watches them with wide eyes, watches them move and reach out to the figure. Was this... how he first met them? After a few seconds, he writes out a reply.]

Are they your crew? Your group? I'm not sure what you call them.

[Because, honestly, he still thinks that Zhao's a former gangster at the very least. Not that he thinks any less of the man for it, it's just what he's assumed. Still, he writes one more line.]

They sound like a nice group of friends.

[seemagicshit]

When we're not constantly giving each other shit, we get along good. Kasuga-kun calls us his crew so I guess that's what we are.

Now c'mon, write down a little bit about your friends, I wanna see!

[fishflakes]

[Toge chuckles, and writes one more quick line.]

When isn't a group of friends giving each other shit?

[But despite the tease, he does look down at his journal, considering his words before beginning to write. It'll take him some time, but he does his best to write down what he can of his friends.]

Well, like I said before, I have three other classmates, Yuta, Maki, and Panda. I met Maki and Panda first, when I first started going to Jujutsu Tech. Yuta transferred afterwards, and we've all kinda been a set since then.

Maki's a descendant of one of the three big Jujutsu Sorcerer families, but she can't use Cursed Energy. Her whole clan treats her pretty shittily because of that. It's a bit of a sore spot with her, and she always tries to prove that she doesn't need Cursed Energy to be a good sorcerer. She has a twin who goes to the Kyoto branch of Jujutsu Tech, and they have some pretty bad blood between each other.

Panda's a panda, which I said before, but he's also not a panda. He's actually what they call a Cursed Corpse. He's a doll who was made from Cursed Energy, in the shape of a panda. But even if he's not really a human or anything, he's still a good guy. He hits super hard and he's really good to train with. Plus he's nice to sleep on if you get tired.

Yuta transferred to our school, and honestly, when we first met? We almost tried to attack him. He came to our school possessed by the ghost of his childhood friend, so seeing this wicked Cursed Spirit possessing him was kind of terrifying. But he's a really nice person, and it was cool seeing him grow from this nervous wreck into a really confident guy. He's been doing this big job overseas lately, though, so I haven't had a chance to see him much lately.

[Toge can't help his own feelings of nostalgia and bittersweet fondness. But instead of shadowy figures appearing behind him, what he notices when he lifts his hand up from the notebook is that, unbeknownst to him, three rough sketches of Maki, Panda, and Yuta have all been sketched into the journal, as if done by an artist. Toge actually stares in bewilderment for a moment, before shaking his head and offering the book to Zhao.]

[seemagicshit]

[Zhao takes a look at the notebook with its drawings and smiles. They look like a nice group. Also A GODDAMN PANDA. Pretty wild.]

I think you'll see them again one way or another. Maybe one of my friends will roll in here someday and we can all get into crazy shit.

Sound like fun?