Toge Inumaki (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fishflakes) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
dreamcrystals2022-01-16 08:25 pm
fishflakes) wrote in dreamcrystals2022-01-16 08:25 pm
Entry tags:
Dream 01 || Don't ever let me think, I was never meant to speak
Sender: Toge Inumaki
To: Everyone
Subject: Passive Dream Recording (CW: Blood, Implied violence, implied body horror)
[The dream is quiet when it first begins to broadcast…. or, at least, it seems quiet. There is an ambient white noise that is prevalent all around, a dull droning that is both incessant and easy to ignore at once. But if one were to listen carefully, they’ll come to realize that it’s not a white noise at all, but rather, whispering; multiple hushed voices all talking as one, a multitude of different murmured conversations that meld into one incoherent buzz. There is very little light in the dream, the surroundings cast into shadows. In the center of the dream, however, is a small boy.]
[The dream seems to be from the perspective of this small boy. He is sitting with his knees up to his chest, his arms wrapped around them tightly. His shoulders shake as his frame trembles with soft, hitched breaths that could easily be missed amidst the whispered voices. A shadowy figure appears looking to be vaguely like an adult, but there are no defining features to this person other than their humanoid shape. They speak out, louder than the whispering voices.]
A child born with the clan’s seal… He will no doubt possess a great amount of Cursed Energy. The Inumaki Clan has been granted a gift.
[Other shadowy figures begin to appear, all apparently looking down at the small, huddled boy. One by one they speak, talking over the whispered voices.]
He bears the mark? He is just a boy…
Such a cursed child… he must be monitored carefully.
Perhaps the Inumaki Clan will finally gain recognition among the three great sorcerer families!
I feel for his mother, having to raise such a child…
[The shadows shift, fading somewhat to reveal an empty schoolyard. The scenery seems to be faded, as if viewed through a lens or veil. Shadowy figures surround the small boy, though their features are indistinct. They all seem to be laughing mockingly, and one of them speaks up.]
What’s wrong, Toge? Cat got your tongue? If you got a problem with how we play, then say so!
[The other figures laugh, full of jeers and ridicule. The small child who is at the center of the dream ducks his face further into his legs, tugs his knees closer to his chest. He whispers in a small voice.]
Please…
[The shadowy ‘children’ suddenly warp, their forms condensing and stretching oddly, violently. Their laughter quickly turns to screams of horror and cries of pain. Over the screams, another voice is heard.]
Toge, what did you do?! What happened to them?!
[The scenery shifts, this time displaying what looks like a traditional Japanese-style home. There are more shadowy adults, looming like oppressive monoliths. They murmur to one another, each voice speaking out over one other.]
Did you hear? That boy cursed someone again. That poor child’s family…
That power is dangerous! It should be sealed away!
This is to be the heir of the Inumaki Clan? He can barely control his own strength.
Haven’t you learned? You need to control this, or else you’ll just hurt everyone around you.
[The boy covers his ears with his hands, grips his hair.]
I-I didn’t mean to..!
[He pleas quietly, but his words are drowned out by the voices that keep coming.]
Don’t you know better?
Why did you curse them, Toge?
The Inumaki Clan depends on you to carry its name, Toge.
This is why it’s dangerous, Toge.
That boy is dangerous!
You’re dangerous, Toge. You need to—
[The small boy trembles, until finally, he shouts out over the other voices.]
BE QUIET!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!
[His voice rings with Cursed Energy, a sharp note amidst the cacophony of voices and shadows. At once, the voices go silent, and the shadows disintegrate under the force of his voice. Even the droning ambient whispers have fallen silent at the command. All is utterly, completely, perfectly silent.]
[Amidst the silence, the young boy gasps and grips his mouth, coughing into his hands several times. When he pulls his shaking hands away, they are covered in blood. He stares at them for a moment, before he wraps his arms around his middle, quietly sobbing into his legs.]
[When he speaks again, it’s barely above a whisper.]
I’m sorry… I’m sorry…
To: Everyone
Subject: Passive Dream Recording (CW: Blood, Implied violence, implied body horror)
[The dream is quiet when it first begins to broadcast…. or, at least, it seems quiet. There is an ambient white noise that is prevalent all around, a dull droning that is both incessant and easy to ignore at once. But if one were to listen carefully, they’ll come to realize that it’s not a white noise at all, but rather, whispering; multiple hushed voices all talking as one, a multitude of different murmured conversations that meld into one incoherent buzz. There is very little light in the dream, the surroundings cast into shadows. In the center of the dream, however, is a small boy.]
[The dream seems to be from the perspective of this small boy. He is sitting with his knees up to his chest, his arms wrapped around them tightly. His shoulders shake as his frame trembles with soft, hitched breaths that could easily be missed amidst the whispered voices. A shadowy figure appears looking to be vaguely like an adult, but there are no defining features to this person other than their humanoid shape. They speak out, louder than the whispering voices.]
A child born with the clan’s seal… He will no doubt possess a great amount of Cursed Energy. The Inumaki Clan has been granted a gift.
[Other shadowy figures begin to appear, all apparently looking down at the small, huddled boy. One by one they speak, talking over the whispered voices.]
He bears the mark? He is just a boy…
Such a cursed child… he must be monitored carefully.
Perhaps the Inumaki Clan will finally gain recognition among the three great sorcerer families!
I feel for his mother, having to raise such a child…
[The shadows shift, fading somewhat to reveal an empty schoolyard. The scenery seems to be faded, as if viewed through a lens or veil. Shadowy figures surround the small boy, though their features are indistinct. They all seem to be laughing mockingly, and one of them speaks up.]
What’s wrong, Toge? Cat got your tongue? If you got a problem with how we play, then say so!
[The other figures laugh, full of jeers and ridicule. The small child who is at the center of the dream ducks his face further into his legs, tugs his knees closer to his chest. He whispers in a small voice.]
Please…
[The shadowy ‘children’ suddenly warp, their forms condensing and stretching oddly, violently. Their laughter quickly turns to screams of horror and cries of pain. Over the screams, another voice is heard.]
Toge, what did you do?! What happened to them?!
[The scenery shifts, this time displaying what looks like a traditional Japanese-style home. There are more shadowy adults, looming like oppressive monoliths. They murmur to one another, each voice speaking out over one other.]
Did you hear? That boy cursed someone again. That poor child’s family…
That power is dangerous! It should be sealed away!
This is to be the heir of the Inumaki Clan? He can barely control his own strength.
Haven’t you learned? You need to control this, or else you’ll just hurt everyone around you.
[The boy covers his ears with his hands, grips his hair.]
I-I didn’t mean to..!
[He pleas quietly, but his words are drowned out by the voices that keep coming.]
Don’t you know better?
Why did you curse them, Toge?
The Inumaki Clan depends on you to carry its name, Toge.
This is why it’s dangerous, Toge.
That boy is dangerous!
You’re dangerous, Toge. You need to—
[The small boy trembles, until finally, he shouts out over the other voices.]
BE QUIET!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!
[His voice rings with Cursed Energy, a sharp note amidst the cacophony of voices and shadows. At once, the voices go silent, and the shadows disintegrate under the force of his voice. Even the droning ambient whispers have fallen silent at the command. All is utterly, completely, perfectly silent.]
[Amidst the silence, the young boy gasps and grips his mouth, coughing into his hands several times. When he pulls his shaking hands away, they are covered in blood. He stares at them for a moment, before he wraps his arms around his middle, quietly sobbing into his legs.]
[When he speaks again, it’s barely above a whisper.]
I’m sorry… I’m sorry…
no subject
( he sighs. at least that won't get put in the book. )
It's difficult. Trying your best even in the worst of situations doesn't always mean being successful.
( ... )
But at least you can say you did what you could. That's what matters.
Sorrt about the delay! Things got a little busy on my end.
It's not easy. I used to mess up a lot when I was a kid, thinking if I was just careful I could get away with it. It didn't always work.
[He still feels bad for those who he used to accidentally curse without intending to. The people he hurt with his own words, until he learned how to function without hurting himself or others.]
It still gets to me, sometimes. Thinking I might hurt others, even though I know I can control myself now.
Does it still get to you, sometimes? That burden?
<3
( he's lost sleep over it. not just here and home, but in the previous world he lived in too. when he could sleep, anyway. )
For me, it's always been about minimizing casualties. It's impossible to not lose someone. Day after day. Trying to build a place that will accept me and my people and keep them safe. I think about it all the time.
But I also think about the peace there'll be... and it helps. A little.
It's enough to keep me going.
no subject
[A place to belong and people to keep safe… that wasn’t so different from what him and his friends did back home, was it? And he knows how hard him and his friends work.]
You’re a really strong person, Lio. To keep going like that… you’ve got a lot of strength.
no subject
[ a sad way to look at it, but a realistic one. ]
I don't have a choice but to be strong. I can't imagine seeing myself being anyone or anything else...
But it's nice to be around a friend who kind of gets it.
no subject
[Toge can relate, in a sense. Jujutsu sorcerers aren't exactly known for living to an old age unless they're very skilled or very shrewd, or both.]
Yeah. It's hard, but it's what you know, right? I get that at least.
You're a good guy, Lio. I don't have a lot of friends, but I'm glad you're one of them.
no subject
[ his self-destructive tendencies were reigned in. one might say they were snuffed out. ]
I'm glad you're my friend too.
no subject
It's just what we learn to cope, you know?
[He wonders just what sort of things Lio went through... but he isn't sure if now's the best time to ask about it. Especially so late at night... which, oof, he just realized how late it is.]
Sorry I woke you up with that dream, by the way.
I didn't exactly plan on advertising it.
no subject
Even if you didn't mean to.
It means you're still here.
So that's a relief, in a way.
no subject
[He pauses as he finishes writing that statement. Ah, right... this was a dream, wasn't it? So what would happen if they woke up? Toge... honestly hadn't thought about that. He lets out a small huff, before writing another few words.]
I'm still not sure how it all works, but if I had to leave for any reason, I'll try to tell you first, okay?
no subject
Okay.
But so you know...
I know that wherever you go next, you'll make the world a better place.
no subject
Thank you Lio.
I know I can do it with friends like you at my side.
And I know you will, too.