dreamcrystals | Dream 01 || Don't ever let me think, I was never meant to speak

Entry tags:

toge inumaki

Dream 01 || Don't ever let me think, I was never meant to speak

Sender: Toge Inumaki
To: Everyone
Subject: Passive Dream Recording (CW: Blood, Implied violence, implied body horror)

[The dream is quiet when it first begins to broadcast…. or, at least, it seems quiet. There is an ambient white noise that is prevalent all around, a dull droning that is both incessant and easy to ignore at once. But if one were to listen carefully, they’ll come to realize that it’s not a white noise at all, but rather, whispering; multiple hushed voices all talking as one, a multitude of different murmured conversations that meld into one incoherent buzz. There is very little light in the dream, the surroundings cast into shadows. In the center of the dream, however, is a small boy.]

[The dream seems to be from the perspective of this small boy. He is sitting with his knees up to his chest, his arms wrapped around them tightly. His shoulders shake as his frame trembles with soft, hitched breaths that could easily be missed amidst the whispered voices. A shadowy figure appears looking to be vaguely like an adult, but there are no defining features to this person other than their humanoid shape. They speak out, louder than the whispering voices.]

A child born with the clan’s seal… He will no doubt possess a great amount of Cursed Energy. The Inumaki Clan has been granted a gift.

[Other shadowy figures begin to appear, all apparently looking down at the small, huddled boy. One by one they speak, talking over the whispered voices.]

He bears the mark? He is just a boy…
Such a cursed child… he must be monitored carefully.
Perhaps the Inumaki Clan will finally gain recognition among the three great sorcerer families!
I feel for his mother, having to raise such a child…

[The shadows shift, fading somewhat to reveal an empty schoolyard. The scenery seems to be faded, as if viewed through a lens or veil. Shadowy figures surround the small boy, though their features are indistinct. They all seem to be laughing mockingly, and one of them speaks up.]

What’s wrong, Toge? Cat got your tongue? If you got a problem with how we play, then say so!

[The other figures laugh, full of jeers and ridicule. The small child who is at the center of the dream ducks his face further into his legs, tugs his knees closer to his chest. He whispers in a small voice.]

Please…

[The shadowy ‘children’ suddenly warp, their forms condensing and stretching oddly, violently. Their laughter quickly turns to screams of horror and cries of pain. Over the screams, another voice is heard.]

Toge, what did you do?! What happened to them?!

[The scenery shifts, this time displaying what looks like a traditional Japanese-style home. There are more shadowy adults, looming like oppressive monoliths. They murmur to one another, each voice speaking out over one other.]

Did you hear? That boy cursed someone again. That poor child’s family…
That power is dangerous! It should be sealed away!
This is to be the heir of the Inumaki Clan? He can barely control his own strength.
Haven’t you learned? You need to control this, or else you’ll just hurt everyone around you.

[The boy covers his ears with his hands, grips his hair.]

I-I didn’t mean to..!

[He pleas quietly, but his words are drowned out by the voices that keep coming.]

Don’t you know better?
Why did you curse them, Toge?
The Inumaki Clan depends on you to carry its name, Toge.
This is why it’s dangerous, Toge.
That boy is dangerous!
You’re dangerous, Toge. You need to—

[The small boy trembles, until finally, he shouts out over the other voices.]

BE QUIET!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!

[His voice rings with Cursed Energy, a sharp note amidst the cacophony of voices and shadows. At once, the voices go silent, and the shadows disintegrate under the force of his voice. Even the droning ambient whispers have fallen silent at the command. All is utterly, completely, perfectly silent.]

[Amidst the silence, the young boy gasps and grips his mouth, coughing into his hands several times. When he pulls his shaking hands away, they are covered in blood. He stares at them for a moment, before he wraps his arms around his middle, quietly sobbing into his legs.]

[When he speaks again, it’s barely above a whisper.]

I’m sorry… I’m sorry…

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[ It's hard to be sure how she ought to phrase her sympathy, her well-informed commiseration. She has her own doubts about just how much she ought to admit, no matter how unlikely Toge seems to mean her any ill even if he did find out how thoroughly she can relate. Pen in hand, she pauses, sighs. Then, ]

It's hard to forget when hurting someone else can happen because of such a small mistake.
Living that way, without being able to speak freely, it must already be on your mind a lot.
Even if they were responsible for teaching you, families are supposed to be kind to each other, too, aren't they?

[ Did he really need reminders, or such cold ones? Words hurt, whether they're spoken with the backing of a curse or not, and failure is sometimes a better teacher than criticism. She can't help but think of the figures in her own life who were cruel and heartless almost to the last man, and yet somehow it's worse to imagine being spoken to or about in that way by the beloved family she's never had. Still, a moment later she feels a tinge of regret, so, ]

I'm sorry. I shouldn't talk about things I wasn't there to see.

[ She only has her own experiences to go off with any legitimacy, so perhaps she ought to stick to those. (Then again, they're why she found this dream so upsetting.) ]

[He reads those words over a few times, tapping his pen on the side of his journal. Honestly, he's kind of touched that Naminé is even offering such sympathies, no matter how close or far from the point she may be. It's a comfort he hadn't been expecting, but one he appreciates nonetheless.]

It's okay. Honestly, I don't think I'm a good person to ask about what families are supposed to be like anyway.

[Jujutsu families were just... different from others, especially if they had powerful inherited techniques to cultivate. He honestly doubts if any of his classmates could claim to have a normal childhood... well, maybe Itadori, since he had been a normal person before becoming Sukuna's vessel. He thinks Nobara had a regular upbringing too, but... yeah. Two, out of the seven students currently at Jujutsu Tech. And that's not even counting the Kyoto branch, which... yeah, that doesn't exactly increase the numbers favourably.]

I guess it's just... hard to bring up sometimes. I thought I'd be over it since it's old news, is all.
I know how to control my powers now, and I haven't cursed someone by accident in a while.
I just wasn't expecting... well, a nightmare, I guess.

[ Naminé spends the same pause in silence, unfidgeting as she mulls matters over. Sometimes it's harder to know what to say when you can relate - when no one else ever has managed to give you the right words for the same problems, so you have no place to start when it comes to providing comfort to someone else. But it's easy enough for her to admit her ignorance, so she doesn't take long to respond. ]

Me neither.
I've never had a mother or father or siblings, so I don't know very much about what it's really like.

[ Not firsthand, anyway. As for his other words, ]

Memories like that are a big part of who you are, aren't they?
Even if you don't think about them every day, your experiences still shape the way that you see everything else.
It's not so strange to dream about them once in a while.

[ Rather, he can be over them and yet dream of them all the same. The more she considers it, however... ]

Although, I've been having bad dreams lately, too.
Most of mine have been about the past, like yours was.
I'd rather not believe it, but maybe there's something unusual going on.

Edited 2022-02-11 07:13 (UTC)

[Oh wow... so, she was an orphan? Toge can't really imagine how hard that might be. Sure he had his family issues, but... at least he had a family. To have nothing... on one hand he often imagined what it would be like if he wasn't born into the Inumaki clan, but on the other hand, he's not sure if that sort of loneliness would be any better.]

I guess we're pretty similar in that, huh?

[Mostly he means that neither of them have had a traditional kind of upbringing.]

Yeah... dreams can be really messed up.
And nightmares like this just remind us of that, huh?

Really? You too?
I have seen a lot of bad dreams being broadcast too.
I wonder if there's something in the air or something.

[ Although she isn't entirely unaware of what she's missing, Naminé has always taken such unfortunate facts on the chin, as it were. The nature of her existence is what it is, and that's hardly going to change - or at least, not so much so as to suddenly provide her the biological impossibility of real parents, no matter the pleasant developments recently in other areas of her life. ]

It does sound that way.

[ She takes Toge's meaning for what it is; her own experiences might be even further outside the norm than his, but the two of them have still got a great many things in common. ]

They do.
Especially in a place like this. When everyone else can see it, that must make it even worse.

[ Not that she means to make him self-conscious - although she only recognizes that potential outcome after she's already written it. Too late to take it back; he's probably seen it. Moving on, ]

Yes, me too.
I'm very grateful none of them have made it across the crystals yet, but it might only be a matter of time.
But I've been wondering that, as well.
Usually when something like this happens, it's part of some bigger picture.

[ One kind of loses faith in coincidence after a certain amount of experience with these types of worlds. ]

At least, it's always been that way in the past.
In the world I visited before this, the people in charge made a lot of strange things happen by choice.

[ Which makes her wonder who's pulling the strings here, but... ]

[It does make him feel a little self-conscious, knowing his dreams could just be... out on display for everyone to see. But knowing that everyone's on this even playing field makes it a little bit easier to tolerate, in a way.]

Something bigger?

[Toge doesn't like the implications of that. He frowns down at the words, tapping at the page with his quill; she might even see the dots appear as he does it. Finally, he writes a reply.]

It sounds like you have some experience with this kind of thing, in your own way.
What do you think might be the cause? Or like, what might happen?

[ Dreading the eventuality though she is, Naminé could certainly find some comfort in that same evenness of the field. Perhaps because of that, however, a breach of privacy does feel inevitable.

And there certainly is a lot implied by her comment; she probably owes him an explanation, but pauses it purely out of respect for those tapping dots - at least until they become words again. ]

It's hard to say.
The nature of this world seems to be very complicated all on its own, so I don't think I know enough about it to predict what might come next.
Not without it being much more than a guess.

When you add in all of the other trouble that's been happening, though, it's getting harder and harder to believe that anything so widespread is a coincidence.
We already know there's someone out there who means us harm. Maybe this is just one more way for them to do that.

[ At this point, she's just glad their tactics don't line up enough with the Technicians' for that particular worry to resurface. ]

[Naminé does have a point, laying it out the way she does. Though she can't see it, he does nod at her words.]

You mean that Story Eater.

[He's heard plenty about that creature from others who apparently dealt with it before. And by the sounds of things, it does sound like it had the power to influence negativity, at least.]

Then we probably should be on guard, at least. Maybe we can't fend off all the nightmares, but we should keep an eye out for trouble.

[ Although these days she often feels out of her depth, Naminé does have a good enough head on her shoulders to form her own suspicions; it's something of a relief that Toge seems to get what she's driving at. ]

I do.
I've never met anything quite like it so I don't know exactly how powerful it is, but it seems to have a lot of influence.

[ Giving people nightmares is just the sort of thing she'd expect such an entity to do, since that's the case. ]

Definitely.
And it might be strange to say, but in a way the fact that our dreams can be shared makes it much easier to look after each other.
At least like this we know who might need help.

[ Unpleasant and invasive though the experience is. ]

I've never met anything like it either. It does sound kind of like a really nasty Cursed Spirit, though.
Those are monsters that I fight back home.

[This Story Eater was probably a lot different than the Cursed Spirits he fought, but it's the only thing he could think of to compare to.]

Hah, yeah, that's true isn't it?
I guess it's sort of a blessing in disguise, in a weird sort of way.
I know that if I was back home, I'd probably just try to forget it happened on my own.

Your world has monsters, too?
Actually, some of the creatures people have been fighting here remind me of the ones that were causing trouble where I come from as well.
Maybe it's more common to have those sorts of problems than I thought it was.

[ It's like the whole multiverse is infested with them, or something. (Surely the Heartless' reach doesn't extend that far, does it...?) ]

Probably. I'm sure a lot of us would.
But here dreams are much more important, and besides that
sometimes it helps not to be alone, even if being alone is what we think we want.

Yeah. We call them Cursed Spirits.
They're things made of human negativity and Cursed Energy, and tend to seek out humans to target.
The noctaere here work pretty similar to Cursed Spirits where I'm from, especially with how they're made from nightmares and negative energy.
Your world has similar monsters?

[Huh... he wonders if she has her own versions of Curses and Cursed Spirits, but under a different name.]

Yeah. That's true.
It does feel nice to not be alone, I'll admit that.

It does.
Or rather, the worlds I know do. Where I come from, there are several of them separated by open space.
The creatures there are born from Darkness, and they seek out humans to steal their hearts. When they manage to do it, it creates even more monsters.
We call them Heartless, but they don't sound so different from what you're describing, and they're a lot like the Noctaere, too.

[ They certainly seem practically the same beyond the methods at first glance, although she's not entirely sure how Cursed Energy would differ from Darkness in this equation. ]

I agree.
Even if I prefer to keep some things private, it's almost worth being afraid as long as none of us have to try to manage all on our own anymore.

[ Not just dealing with nightmares, but in the much broader sense. She has not regretted leaving her loneliness behind in the slightest, no matter what other aspects of the situation there might be to consider. ]

That does sound a lot like Cursed Spirits from my world.
Minus the whole traveling to different worlds thing.
Do these Heartless take really gross forms? And can only a few people see them?
How do you get rid of them?

[He's just kind of curious how these things work in her world.]

Yeah.
It's nice, and a lot less lonely.

[ Minus the travelling to different worlds thing - that the inhabitants of that world are aware of, right? But she'll neglect to bring up that possibility. ]

I don't know if I'd call them gross, but some of them are stranger than others.
They can resemble humans, or animals, or sometimes plants. Then there are a few that are more like monsters.
But most of them are visible even to normal people. When they're not hiding, that is.

Getting rid of them isn't easy, though.
They're hard to defeat, and it's impossible to keep them away entirely with normal weapons.
Only a special type of blade can be used to stop them for good, and the power to summon one is very rare.

[ In her time, anyway. ]

Huh. Those sound a little different than Cursed Spirits.
I mean, Cursed Spirits can sometimes resemble insects or birds, but they usually look pretty gross and not at all natural.
And unless someone is a sorcerer or near death or something, you can't really see them.
So these Heartless sound similar, but also not.
Though, sounds like they're just as tough as Cursed Spirits.

They might be.
Since I've never met a Cursed Spirit, it's hard for me to say.

But what do you mean when you say they look unnatural?
Are they like piles of goo?

[ That's the first gross, unnatural thing that comes to her mind, anyway. ]

And what do you usually do about them?

[ That part might be a bit more important; it's always good to be forewarned regardless of how likely or unlikely she is to run across such an issue in the future. ]

Honestly, piles of goo isn't too far off sometimes.
Some look like melted humans or weird monsters. They don't look very pleasant.

[As he holds his journal, Toge thinks of how best to describe the Cursed Spirits he's seen. But it turns out he doesn't have to, because the journal picks up on his thought waves, and soon a couple different images of Cursed Spirits appear on the page.]

Oh.
Well, there's some right there.
They can look like a bunch of things, those aren't the only kinds.

And we fight them by exorcising them, using Cursed Techniques.
Basically, we use the same energy they're made up of to overpower them and cancel them out. Different jujutsu sorcerers use different techniques. My Cursed Speech is one of them.

Edited 2022-03-15 00:03 (UTC)

[ The sudden appearance of the images give Naminé a little start as she wraps her mind around what she's seeing. Because-- ]

Those really do look awful!

[ There are plenty of weird Heartless, but these Cursed Spirits are more... disturbing, although she doesn't quite know the word to use for that. ]

The same energy?
That works?
In my worlds, opposites usually seem to do much better against each other.

[ Which is pretty interesting, honestly, that such a thing might change between places. ]

Although the creatures there can be convinced to follow someone who's more powerful than they are. Usually people who also wield dark powers.

Yeah, real nightmare fuel, huh?
And yeah, jujutsu sorcerers use Cursed Energy, just like Cursed Spirits do.
It's a bit hard to explain, but it's like, when two negative forces meet, they cancel each other out to create something positive. That's how Cursed Energy works.
It's kind of like countering something poisonous with another, stronger poison. If your Cursed Energy is stronger than the other's, you overpower them.

Huh. That's kind of the same with my world too. Sometimes you can force a Cursed Spirit to submit and it'll become a shikigami.
Shikigami are basically spirits that serve jujutsu sorcerers. How many you control is dependant on how strong you are.
An underclassman of mine uses shikigami a lot. It's not necessarily evil, it's more a matter of strength.

[ As far as nightmare fuel-- ]

I hope not.

[ -- since there are enough bad dreams to go around already. To the rest, ]

I suppose that makes some kind of sense.
When you put it that way, it sounds almost the same as one person physically overpowering another.
Like arm wrestling.

[ Not the most academic analogy in the world, but Naminé does have a few other people's playful childhood memories rattling around in her head, so sometimes they slip out. ]

What are they like? The shikigami.
Do they think, or speak? Or is it as if they're puppets?

[ She's not a huge fan of forcibly controlling sentient beings, even if they're otherwise problematic to have around, so she can't help but wonder. ]

Edited 2022-03-27 05:07 (UTC)

[Ah, right, maybe that was a bad choice of words. Nightmare fuel was more a turn of phrase where he's from, but here, that could legit be a thing, couldn't it? Welp...]

Yeah, basically.
That's a good way to put it. I shoulda thought of that.

Shikigami are like Cursed Spirits, but a lot more docile.
They listen to whoever conjured them and can fight for them. Some look kind of gross, like mini versions of the ones that were drawn up there, but a lot look like weird animals.
The underclassman I mentioned before? He has a bunch that look like regular animals. A giant snake, toads, an owl-like thing, stuff like that.
My favourite are his divine dogs. They're literally giant dogs. You can even pet them.

[There might be a reason that Megumi's Divine Dogs were a crowd favourite.]

I thought the way you said was much cooler, actually.
Poison is a lot more serious than games children like to play.

[ And is therefore more appropriate, she assumes, since this whole Cursed Energy business sounds like part of a very demanding profession and or threat. ]

I see. So their forms change too once they become Shikigami.
Your friend must be pretty tough if he's able to control so many. Or is it normal to have that number?

[ But really, though, the most interesting part of all is-- ]

Do the big dogs like for people to pet them?

[ This is important, clearly. She has to know this in case she ever meets one and has the chance to bestow affection upon them like she's now quietly hoping to herself she will someday. ]

He is pretty tough, and pretty crafty.
His technique is unique to him, and so is the number of Shikigami he can use. Normal sorcerers can usually only manage one, maybe two. His ability makes him able to handle ten.

Oh, they do. Fushiguro might not admit it, and in a fight they're serious, but I've never seen those dogs turn down a pet.

He must be very talented, then.
It seems like it would be pretty hard to look after even a few creatures, let alone ten.

[ And let alone having to exert some other kind of power to keep them under control. Consider Naminé impressed, then, or as much as she can be without more context. ]

That's good. It's probably better that it makes them happy, rather than everyone wanting to play with them and them not liking it.
But you say he might not admit it?
Why? Is that embarrassing for some reason?

[ She's still trying to figure out some of the things people do and don't get upset about, honestly. ]

Dream 01 || Don't ever let me think, I was never meant to speak

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