Journal 📚 Cats & Volunteers 🐈

[angelbirth]

Sender: Satan
To: Everyone
Subject: Cats & Volunteers

[ In a handwriting that balances on a fine line between neat and messy, the following is written: ]

Hello.

I have two distinctly separate requests, and I urge you to remember that these are separate when you read this.

Firstly, I am looking for a cat. One with a particularly charming button nose, splendid toe beans, and a mewl that could pawsitively melt any heart. While I understand that describes virtually all felines, I thought I'd see if anyone had seen such a cat around.

Secondly—and separately—I am looking for volunteers to participate in a research study. An exceptional candidate would be sturdy and healthy, even better if the candidate has experience overcoming various poisons and toxins. There are risks, such as loss of life, but ideally my research and my own magic-slash-dreamotion energy would prevent death. So ultimately, the risk is minimal. Most likely. Please let me know if you'd be willing to volunteer.

Comments

[stupidmammon]

I don't know why but I suddenly feel insulted for some reason.

[angelbirth]

You missed the other insult, so I had to throw in an extra one.

[stupidmammon]

Wait you threw in another insult??! What the heck was it?

[angelbirth]

Ugh. Nevermind.

Anyway, moving forward your meals will be poison free, at least to the best of my knowledge.

[stupidmammon]

Fine.

Then moving forward I won't hide the slightly painful gift I caught for you a couple days ago.

[angelbirth]

You really are a glutton for punishment, aren't you?

[ He really wants to call him out for the whole "hiding" thing and thus being untruthful, but he doesn't feel like going back down that route again so soon. ]

So what is it?

[stupidmammon]

Go to my room and you'll see.

[angelbirth]

Well now I'm just alarmed at what you're hiding in there. It's not a pile of dirty laundry, is it?

[stupidmammon]

Why would I be excited to see you see my dirty laundry?! I ain't Asmo ya know.

[angelbirth]

I cannot even begin to imagine the things Asmo would be excited for me to see.

[ To be fair, Satan thought maybe it was a prank or something. ]

So I really have to come home in order to find out what it is?

[stupidmammon]

You ain't gotta come home right now or anything. Just keep it in your head that there's somethin' waitin' for ya.





AND THAT AIN'T A THREAT BTW.

[angelbirth]

Hmm. Maybe I'd better avoid home for the next century just in case.

[stupidmammon]

Would you really want to leave me alone with a new little nyaa friend for that long?

[angelbirth]

Don't move. I'm on my way.

[stupidmammon]

I'm moooooving~