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Sender: Rob
To: Everyone
Subject: The Listing

SEEKING: Nemesis
DUTIES: Wronging me, barely thwarting evil plans
HOURS: Varies
PAY: Oh, you will
BENEFITS: You'll be the hero
PRIOR EXPERIENCE: Not necessary. Being easy to hate a plus.

To apply, please contact Rob at here

[ooc: I'm personally not actually looking for him to get a nemesis, so feel free to talk him out of it! But I'll go with it if you don't.]

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What sort of evil plans would be in need of thwarting, under such a position? I see the hours are marked as varied as well, I hope this means the nemesis would be able to make their own, to some extent?

Mostly plans to destroy you and/or everyone you love. You know, the standard. I got foiled after taking people hostage a couple times too even though that was for the greater good.

Yeah, basically. Sometimes I just show up, sometimes it happens when you decide to cross paths with me. It's definitely easy to live your own life around it like I'm not even there.

Just me? No sights set on destroying the world and / or various degrees of local, national, or global domination? Are holidays be off-limits? I assume this is an around the clock kind of position, but everyone needs a reasonable amount of days off, am I right?

No. It'd be pretty stupid to destroy the world and ruling it sounds like a huge pain. It's probably just a lot of meetings and paperwork. There could be more localized destruction depending on the scheme, though. Also I'm not responsible for what happens to people who get in the way.

Right, but it'll probably feel mostly like time off for you. Basically what I do is plan things and you won't have to stop me until I'm actually doing something. Like, my last nemesis basically just went about his life and his a m a z i n g adventures most of the time with me nowhere in the picture. It took him over a year just to learn my name.

You're probably right. World domination did always seem like it would probably involve a lot of paperwork... And if you're not concerned with public by-standers, it sounds like there's no health benefits in general, would that be fair to surmise? I do tend to have a lot of amazing adventures so I might be able to provide you with a suitable replacement but... I'm kind of a big deal, and, sorry to say— but if it took him that long, it sounds like you might be some kind of no-name.

I am not a no-name! My name is Rob!

Actually I [A pause.] there were some things that happened and everyone forgot me, but he really only needed to hear my name again once. He's just a selfish jerk like that!

But on that note, I'm probably going to need to know more about you than just a name. Like, a face. Body. Both. Whatever you got.

Also no, no healthcare. I'm from the US, sorry.

Right, okay, sorry, Fob.

( was... was that on purpose? )

I do happen to have a face and a body, so both. You can ask me some questions if you like, I'm not your typical in-you-face kind of hero of justice— more of a work in the shadows type. Are high profile cases your kind of thing? What's the state of your PR team?

[If you could see the look you're getting right now, Ren...]

Ha ha. Actually at least rhyming is a nice change.

Yeah, it'll be hard to destroy you if I have no idea who you are. What do you look like? Or what should I look for?

[Eventually he'll probably realize he can just ask someone since he has his name...]

I kind of vary it up, but I tend to be in the shadows more often than not myself. Or the bushes. Whatever's around. Surprise attacks are more my style. And no PR team. This isn't exactly a job where you make friends. Also most of the people I know are still in junior high.

( he probably knows the look. he probably gets it a lot...... )

I'm just a normal high school student. I wear glasses, mostly dark colours, my cat has called my hair frizzy, before. I enjoy fishing, gardening, and I make a mean cup of coffee. My favourite curry is spicy, and my blood type is— ... You're writing all of this down, right?

You're literally doing it for me, you know.

That's a good start, even though there's nothing all that strange in there. Anything else I should know?

[Nope, he is not even questioning the talking cat. That's what his last nemesis was.]

Right? You wouldn't even know I was one of the notorious— ... ... Ah, but, where's the fun in just revealing everything, right? Be on the lookout for my calling card, Bob. And I'll be keeping my eyes peeled for any of your evil plans.

Riiight. I'm definitely not telling you what you're in for.

[He thinks he's threatening, it's cute.]

At least you're making it easy to hate you. And you can try, but you'll probably never see it coming!

( easy to hate, huh? rob wouldn't even be his first would-be rival to make that observation. what can he say? it's kind of a gift. )

Ah, a Surprise attack, then. I only hope it won't be my Last. I'm sure this is destined to be a beautiful friendship.

[It's just easier to be your nemesis if he can hate you. Stuff got Complicated with his last one because of that.]

Friendship didn't really work out that well with my last nemesis.

I suppose I'll see you around then. Whether or not you see me is another story!

[Do you even know what he looks like, what have you gotten yourself into...]

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sender: REN AMAMIYA

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im so sorry for this lmao

don't be, this is beautiful

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