002 - Dream Recording

[chippedsoul]

Sender: Kazuma Asogi
To: Everyone
Subject: Passive Dream recording


CW: Blood, Death, Naga?

Before there is any sort of scenery, there is warmth. A comforting breeze blowing, the sound of birds chirping, a flowing stream. A child's laughter echoes in the darkness. And then it turns to white. Like eyes adjusting to the sudden brightness, a scene starts to take shape.

Colors come alive, and there was the smell of fresh linen. Clothes being hung block your view for a moment as the world expands behind them. A grassy area with a rock garden and a Japanese-style wooden home, a yard of sorts. Cherry blossom petals were floating through the breeze from the nearby blooming trees, and down by the stream was the source of the laughter. A small boy with an older gentleman, probably his father.

"I got something!" The boy pulls on his rod with such enthusiasm, at the end of the line, a small guppy. "Aw, it's so small." The parent gives him a few headpats, a warm smile on his face.

"We all have to start somewhere." The boy looks up to him.

"Well when can I start practicing with a sword? It's been a year now!" As if the father expected this inevitable question, he laughs.

"Much older I'm afraid, but...I suppose your mother wouldn't be against practicing with a wooden sword." The boy's face suddenly lights up with anticipation.

"Really?! Ah that is--I would be honor if you could teach me the way of the Asogi clan." His excitement quickly replace with a stiff bow, failing to hide his giddiness. The father continues to have a warm gentle smile, as the edges of the dream shifts like static. As they move from the stream, they just miss a white snake slithering through the grass.

Like changing the channel on a television, the scene changes and you are brought inside the home of this boy and father. Both stood on opposite ends of the room, a change into training clothes and wooden swords in hand. The boy was intensely focused, breathing heavily to indicate they had been at this for a while.

"One more, just one more try." He had been attempting and failing at a technique apparently. And he stubbornly does not know when to call it quits and to try again later. His father, a sympathetic yet stern look.

"There is a lesson in knowing when to stop."

"I'll stop after this one. Promise." And he will keep his promise. His father simply sighs as he raises his sword. Not mad, just amused.

"One more it is then."

And so they spar, a bit one-sided, but it was a child training with a grown man. He just, needed an opening. One good hit through all these parries and he will have succeeded. "There!" Just as the boy thrust his wooden sword forward, he slips and lets out a yelp as he tumbles into his father instead. Father goes along with it as he "falls" onto the ground.

"Ahh, you found my weak point" He feign defeat, his free arm hugging his son. The boy groans. "I did not..." Thanks for trying to make him feel better, dad. His father just chuckles as he pats him on the head.

"You pushed yourself more than you could take. You'll get it next time after some rest." The boy knows this to be true, though he wish the session hadn't ended in such embarrassing way. Just as he was about to say something to his father, he felt something wet in his hand. Looking down, he's freezes with shock to find what appears to be blood on his hand, blood on his father's clothes. No, he couldn't have.

"Father-?" A look of horror on the boys face as the colors on his father's face fade. The scenery around them become harder to stay in focus, crumbling into a darkness until it was only them. His father's warm expression turns cold and lifeless.

"Why?"

Suddenly the dream felt like was speeding up. The boy tries to wiggle himself free, only to realize he couldn't feel his legs. He had no legs, just a long serpentine tail. Scales and fangs suddenly appear, giving the boy a more serpent appearance as he looks back to his father in a panic, confused, seeking help, answers.

But he was no longer on his father. He was suddenly left alone on the floor, his father floating away in the distance, leaving a trail of blood. His features became less life-like, more blood dripping as if he had been torn in various places on his body.

"No! Father, I didn't-!" The boy felt a heavy weight that kept him from going after his father, no matter how much he tries to reach for him with his bloody hand.

"I taught you better. No son of mine would ever take a life."

"I'm sorry!" Desperation in the boys voice, not wanting to lose his father. "I just wanted-I didn't mean for it to happen!" Please come back to me.

In that moment, you'll feel a coldness and being weigh down, sinking. The dream will then abruptly end.

Comments

[judicialassistant]

[ Susato wants to say she understands, but those words would feel hollow and empty. Instead, she listens to him, gently moving the kettle before it can sound, when she can hear the water start to bubble. Nearby, there is a container labeled "oolong matcha" which she pulled out alongside the teacups. ]

I wish that I could prove it to you. That I could show you evidence to dispel that fear once and for all. That this world would allow you to speak with him... with all its magic, and dreams. But I...

[ She can't. She can't give him any of that. She can't give Genshin Asogi back to him, and she certainly can't keep Kazuma's intrusive thoughts at bay. She told her father that she wanted to be good for him though, and that she wanted to help him through all this. She'll hold onto that promise for all that it was worth, and continue giving him a reason to be proud. ]

All I can do is my very best to urge you forward when you fall back, and... try not to fall behind myself.

[chippedsoul]

. . .It wouldn't really be him. Just a creation from one's mind. [He's not interested in entertaining the thought of the dead appearing here. He knows it's possible, but he will not vocally acknowledge it.]

You're doing just fine. I assure you, just having you here is doing more for me already. So please...don't think so harshly about yourself. [Says the guy who still beats himself over what happened years ago.]

[judicialassistant]

[ . . . Fair enough. This is true of the version of him she met while dreamwalking as well, so perhaps it's a good thing that that conversation went no further. Instead, she hums a quiet acknowledgement as she pours out the boiling water and stirs in the tea.

A moment later, she's placed both cups onto a little tray and carries it over to the table, leaning in probably closer than is strictly necessary when she places it in front of him. Both cups are still steaming. ]

Who is comforting who now? [ She's kidding. (It's definitely her. She's doing the comforting.) ]

[chippedsoul]

[He blinks at her remark while he picks up a cup. A small grin on his face. He saw what you did there.]

We're not very good at this, are we?

[judicialassistant]

[ Hmpth. Susato feigns a huff as she takes the seat next to him, reaching for the remaining cup. Though she has playfully averted her gaze, a smile threatens to seep into her expresson and crack that illusion of her being offended. ]

I don't know what you mean. I got you to smile, I daresay that makes me quite good. Perhaps even the best. [ The best assistant in the world. ]

[chippedsoul]

[He made a sound before he could take a sip of his tea. Somewhere between a laugh and a cough. Damn, she got him there.]

A bold claim, but you are the best assistant anyone could ask for. [A sip of his tea.] Mine especially.

[judicialassistant]

[ 'Mine especially.' When he laughs and says things like that, she can't help but stare at him with adoring, soft eyes--ones that probably make her look terribly empty-headed. She takes a sip of her tea to follow him, but she ends up swirling it around in her cup more than anything, waiting for it to cool more. ]

Then... I take it the tea is helping?

[chippedsoul]

Mm...it is. [The warmth from the tea was definitely helping him relax. His mind starting to clear up a little more.]

I'm sorry you had to see me like that. [He knows the apology isn't necessary with her, but it was still a vulnerable moment for him.]

[judicialassistant]

[ Susato shakes her head. Even though he knows, she'll still say it. Reminders and all that. ]

There is nothing to apologise for. I told you that I would be here. [ When he had no choice but to talk about it, but also even when he did. Which is it right now...? Either way, it already feels like he's opened up more than before. ]

[chippedsoul]

I know. [A long, quiet sigh.] It was such a good dream, until it wasn't. [. . .Now that his head is return to reality, something Susato said earlier is still bothering him.] You claimed to have seen my father...? From dreamwalking?

[judicialassistant]

[ It had been warm and nostalgic. A simpler time, when neither had to worry about terrible government secrets or conspiracies. Thinking back on it, Susato smiles, though before she can voice these warm feelings, before she can call his focus back to how the dream began rather than how it ended, the question comes.

She answers with some hesitation. ]

...It is as you say. It wasn't really him... just a creation from one's mind. But in that moment, I felt like I knew him.

There was a deep feeling of longing when I looked at him that I didn't understand at the time, but I suppose I do now.

[chippedsoul]

[. . .There's only two people here who would have had memories of his father, and one of them is no longer here. Yujin and Barok. Did he want to know which dream she traversed? He takes a sip of the tea before speaking up again.]

Did he remind you of me?

[judicialassistant]

[ He probably doesn't want to know, though Susato will tell him if he asks. She looks at Kazuma then, as she considers. ]

He appeared younger then. [ In the dream. ] And you are older. I think father would agree that you are his spitting image, particularly with the ponytail you keep. But you've also become your own man.

[ While she sets down her teacup, she offers her free hand, placing it open-palmed in front of him to take. ]

That is something to be proud of, even if he is unable to say so.

[chippedsoul]

[That's right, cause he's never sporting that mustache. Sorry dad. He sees the hand being offered to him, frowning. Is it something to be proud of? There is a stain in his life that will never fully remove itself. A long sigh.]

I could be better.

[judicialassistant]

[ Her fingers curl slightly while she waits. She can see him looking, which she supposes is enough of an invitation. She'll wait for a moment when he's set down his teacup and grab his hand, intent on meeting his eyes. ]

That is true of anyone. Even him.

[ Even Genshin Asogi. ]

Would he truly judge you so harshly for taking a life, knowing that he has taken one himself?

[chippedsoul]

...It's not the same. [His hand gingerly holds Susato's, not quite gripping.]

He honored his opponent with a duel. I...slaughtered without much thought who they were. [Nothing but anger, a desire for vengeance.]

[judicialassistant]

[ Anger... She can sense it. By now, she can only imagine that it's directed mostly at himself, but she'll still be the one to tighten her grip if he does not. A way of pulling him back from that pit of despair. ]

"Several"... I remember.

It has eaten at you this much, yet this is the most you've said about it without me twisting your arm.

[chippedsoul]

...It was my essence's turn to have his story "restored". [And then he gives her an inch. Maybe enough time has finally passed that he can bring that horror back to the surface.]

Those who essence are connected to their story being restored, receive something of a boon. It's more of curse in my case. [He glances down at his tea, pondering over to grab another drink or continue. His hand is squeezing Susato's whether he realizes it or not.] Hyde...certainly didn't hold back.

[judicialassistant]

[ Her eyes widen slightly. She wasn't sure how he would react to that, but she can feel the squeeze of his hand. The last time she'd heard the word 'Essence' being spoken in this context, it was from Leia. Another loss.

Despite the sad reminder, she'll take the inch being given. ]

Kazuma...

[ Boon? Curse? Ugh, why isn't she better at this when it counts? It certainly makes sense that Hyde would come about if his story were being restored. The fact that he still speaks of Hyde in the third person, despite being insistent that he's a part of him... she doesn't know if that should be a comfort or not. Her thumb idly makes circles on his hand, a gentle rubbing motion. ]

How many?

[chippedsoul]

[His brows furrow.] Too many. All of my anger, frustrations, and desire for vengeance were suddenly free from their shackles. He wanted to hurt--I wanted to hurt, make anyone that cross my path suffer.

[He needed a moment to take a deep breath. He's been doing rather well not having to hear the screams of his victims up until now.] I suppose one would consider it fortunate that most of the victims were already a part of the story, and only a few casualties from those who were brought into that realm. [He shakes his head.] But it doesn't change that I allowed that massacre to happen.

[judicialassistant]

[ There it is. A casual correction, but a significant one. She recognizes the change in his breath. She knows this is difficult, but he has been avoiding it for far too long. ]

You couldn't control him anymore than Dr Jekyll could. It was his story, his role that was unfairly assigned to you, but it doesn't have to be yours any longer.

[ She swallows her doubt, a lump that had formed at her throat. ]

His ending doesn't have to be your ending.

[chippedsoul]

[He hears what Susato is telling him, but it all sounds like excuses.]

He's still a part of me. He was the way he was, because of what exist inside of me. If he could alter his story, why couldn't I have done the same instead of going the same way as Dr. Jekyll? [Which makes this all the harder to just, treat him like another set piece in a story. He shakes his head.]

Still, I'm trying not let it consume me. It's just...going to take time. These old haunts don't exactly just go away overnight.

[judicialassistant]

...I know. And I apologise, I was not trying to...

[ She trails off. She can't even begin to know the answer to his question. A part of her wants to give him his space. Maybe she should at least free his hand, but she changes her mind when she mentions these thoughts consuming him, and trying not to let them. The last thing he needs is space right now. Her grip holds firm. ]

I did not mean to rush anything. I merely hoped that having more information would allow me to better assist you, but... I suppose this is not as straightforward or clean cut as judicial law. [ Or even running a restaurant. ]

[chippedsoul]

[He watches her deflate in her attempts to help him. His other hand moves to hold hers, now in both his hands.]

I will tell you as much as you need to hear. You are already helping me by staying with me, keeping me anchored with what's real and what isn't. [A small reassuring smile manages to form on his face.] Keep doing what you feel is right. No apology needed.

[judicialassistant]

[ Susato looks up at him at the gesture, eyes flickering in surprise. The warmth and comfort behind his hands and his smile are undeniable, yet she still finds herself shaking her head. ]

It isn't about what I need, or what I feel is right. But... [ A thoughtful pause, and she hums to fill it. ] perhaps I could offer some helpful suggestions.