Satan, Avatar of Wrath (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
angelbirth) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
dreamcrystals2022-10-19 10:17 pm
angelbirth) wrote in dreamcrystals2022-10-19 10:17 pm
Entry tags:
😾Dream Recording😾
Sender: Satan
To: Everyone
Subject: Passive Dream Recording
Warnings: Discusses the birth of Satan.
Despite being regarded as the most beloved Angel in all the Celestial Realm, Lucifer's sour face doesn't seem to fit with such a title. Bubbling below the surface is a quiet rage that's just barely contained. He'd come to this room for some quiet, hoping to hide within its plain white walls, a room devoid of any any furniture.
Just for a moment. He needs just a moment to bury the anger deep down inside himself.
He doesn't get the moment.
The door opens and an angel steps into the room. The mask they are wearing might be comical, but Lucifer pays it no mind. There is a sense of disconnection, as though Lucifer feels nothing but neutral toward the angel. With a small, sharp inhale, Lucifer puts on a radiant smile.
And so begins the endless parade of angels who come to him to complain.
Mammon isn't doing his job very well. Leviathan hasn't left his room in days. Asmodeus went to another party in the human world. Beelzebub, Belphegor and Lilith all made a trip to the human world again.
The smile never leaves his face as he takes each complaint with all the grace in the world. He'll deal with it. He'll work with Mammon. He'll find a way to get Leviathan to leave his room. He'll lecture Asmodeus on the improperness of attending parties in the human world and, for good measure, he may as well loop the triplets into the lecture as well; better they hear it from him than from Michael.
His expression is positively serene, but with each complaint the anger boils even hotter inside him.
It's stifling, says the voice in his head, and Lucifer agrees. While he understands the concern Michael and his Father have, are he and his siblings not perfectly created as well? Thinking about it makes him even angrier, but the perfectly calm smile never leaves his face.
The words It's stifling paint themselves onto the brilliantly white walls, staining them, but the endless stream of angels who come to launch various complaints at him don't seem to acknowledge the words, just as Lucifer doesn't acknowledge their smiling masks.
Who are they to complain? Have they taken the time to speak with my brothers? With my sister? I was the one who recommended Mammon for the job. Of course he is capable of doing it. Leviathan would leave his room if he weren't so petrified of being thought of as useless. Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphegor and Lilith all have a perfectly healthy interest in the human world. Why is it my responsibility to correct their behavior? Are we not perfect beings?
The words write themselves on the wall in a bizarre handwriting that is equal parts elegant and messy the moment Lucifer thinks them.
The scene melts away in a flurry of white feathers. It's either another room or the walls are clean again, but Lucifer is no less angry, and the walls don't remain clean for long.
"I hate this," says Lucifer. Behind him, Satan writes on the wall, I hate this. His form isn't quite corporeal, but just like before, he's able to mark the walls in red.
"How dare he do this. How dare he threaten..."
Satan writes the words on the wall just as before. And, when Lucifer stops, Satan keeps going.
Lilith is my sister. She's our sister. We all love her. All of us. We are perfect beings. What she did was an act of love, not an act of rebellion. He hasn't seen true rebellion. I won't let him damn her to oblivion. I won't let him. I won't let him. I won't let him.
When Satan turns to face Lucifer, his expression is a mirror image of the wrath Lucifer is just barely able to contain.
When the scene melts away a second time, it is in a flurry of black feathers instead. Even though Lucifer had torn his six white wings off, four of them regrew, this time in black. As the scene comes into focus, Lucifer is Falling headfirst, plummeting downward. The rage he feels is absolutely unbearable, so much so that his body is no longer able a suitable host for it. Finally, Lucifer's anger is able to manifest physically, and the form it takes is Satan himself. The two of them Fall together, and for a brief moment, neither of them feel the unending torrent of rage. For a moment, they feel nothing but overwhelming sadness, because in the end, they knew it was all for nothing. They knew that in the end, Lilith would die.
They hit the ground of the Devildom hard, together, and it's so painful that Satan had quite preferred being an intangible consciousness inside of Lucifer in comparison. Despite how hard they hit the ground, they quickly sit up in unison. No longer were they supposedly perfect beings. They were demons, marked by their ram-like horns that mirrored each other. Lucifer kept the angelic form of his wings while Satan instead had a long black tail that remained coiled securely around his leg.
Lucifer takes a moment to fit the black, smiling mask the other angels were wearing on his face while, at the same time while Satan's face remains bare, unmasked and angry. They sit back to back, and Lucifer resolves to protect the rest of his family while Satan cannot even think clearly at all. The only thing he can think about or feel is the thousands of years worth of anger that Lucifer had consistently pushed down again and again until there was no room left.
To: Everyone
Subject: Passive Dream Recording
Warnings: Discusses the birth of Satan.
Despite being regarded as the most beloved Angel in all the Celestial Realm, Lucifer's sour face doesn't seem to fit with such a title. Bubbling below the surface is a quiet rage that's just barely contained. He'd come to this room for some quiet, hoping to hide within its plain white walls, a room devoid of any any furniture.
Just for a moment. He needs just a moment to bury the anger deep down inside himself.
He doesn't get the moment.
The door opens and an angel steps into the room. The mask they are wearing might be comical, but Lucifer pays it no mind. There is a sense of disconnection, as though Lucifer feels nothing but neutral toward the angel. With a small, sharp inhale, Lucifer puts on a radiant smile.
And so begins the endless parade of angels who come to him to complain.
Mammon isn't doing his job very well. Leviathan hasn't left his room in days. Asmodeus went to another party in the human world. Beelzebub, Belphegor and Lilith all made a trip to the human world again.
The smile never leaves his face as he takes each complaint with all the grace in the world. He'll deal with it. He'll work with Mammon. He'll find a way to get Leviathan to leave his room. He'll lecture Asmodeus on the improperness of attending parties in the human world and, for good measure, he may as well loop the triplets into the lecture as well; better they hear it from him than from Michael.
His expression is positively serene, but with each complaint the anger boils even hotter inside him.
It's stifling, says the voice in his head, and Lucifer agrees. While he understands the concern Michael and his Father have, are he and his siblings not perfectly created as well? Thinking about it makes him even angrier, but the perfectly calm smile never leaves his face.
The words It's stifling paint themselves onto the brilliantly white walls, staining them, but the endless stream of angels who come to launch various complaints at him don't seem to acknowledge the words, just as Lucifer doesn't acknowledge their smiling masks.
Who are they to complain? Have they taken the time to speak with my brothers? With my sister? I was the one who recommended Mammon for the job. Of course he is capable of doing it. Leviathan would leave his room if he weren't so petrified of being thought of as useless. Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphegor and Lilith all have a perfectly healthy interest in the human world. Why is it my responsibility to correct their behavior? Are we not perfect beings?
The words write themselves on the wall in a bizarre handwriting that is equal parts elegant and messy the moment Lucifer thinks them.
The scene melts away in a flurry of white feathers. It's either another room or the walls are clean again, but Lucifer is no less angry, and the walls don't remain clean for long.
"I hate this," says Lucifer. Behind him, Satan writes on the wall, I hate this. His form isn't quite corporeal, but just like before, he's able to mark the walls in red.
"How dare he do this. How dare he threaten..."
Satan writes the words on the wall just as before. And, when Lucifer stops, Satan keeps going.
Lilith is my sister. She's our sister. We all love her. All of us. We are perfect beings. What she did was an act of love, not an act of rebellion. He hasn't seen true rebellion. I won't let him damn her to oblivion. I won't let him. I won't let him. I won't let him.
When Satan turns to face Lucifer, his expression is a mirror image of the wrath Lucifer is just barely able to contain.
When the scene melts away a second time, it is in a flurry of black feathers instead. Even though Lucifer had torn his six white wings off, four of them regrew, this time in black. As the scene comes into focus, Lucifer is Falling headfirst, plummeting downward. The rage he feels is absolutely unbearable, so much so that his body is no longer able a suitable host for it. Finally, Lucifer's anger is able to manifest physically, and the form it takes is Satan himself. The two of them Fall together, and for a brief moment, neither of them feel the unending torrent of rage. For a moment, they feel nothing but overwhelming sadness, because in the end, they knew it was all for nothing. They knew that in the end, Lilith would die.
They hit the ground of the Devildom hard, together, and it's so painful that Satan had quite preferred being an intangible consciousness inside of Lucifer in comparison. Despite how hard they hit the ground, they quickly sit up in unison. No longer were they supposedly perfect beings. They were demons, marked by their ram-like horns that mirrored each other. Lucifer kept the angelic form of his wings while Satan instead had a long black tail that remained coiled securely around his leg.
Lucifer takes a moment to fit the black, smiling mask the other angels were wearing on his face while, at the same time while Satan's face remains bare, unmasked and angry. They sit back to back, and Lucifer resolves to protect the rest of his family while Satan cannot even think clearly at all. The only thing he can think about or feel is the thousands of years worth of anger that Lucifer had consistently pushed down again and again until there was no room left.
no subject
And that continues as she reads his words. A little flutter of anticipation starts in her chest, a lightness opposite of the angry pressure she felt a few minutes ago. Her eyes race over the page, keeping pace with Satan's pen as he writes.
Although Satan hazards that the pacts of his world and the deals of Alastor's are similar, to Zelda, they sound as different as night and day. A deal with Alastor would have granted Zelda a loan of his power in exchange for the permanent sale of her soul, whereas a pact with Satan sounds like exactly the opposite: his strength, his power, his very being at her beck and call for the rest of her life.
The flutter in her chest grows stronger, like the wings of a bird beating against her sternum. Satan really wants to do this? To make a pact that would bind him to Zelda for the rest of her life? It's clear that the princess is the one who stands to benefit most from this arrangement. No matter how you look at it, Satan places himself at great risk by making such an offer, even though he is practically guaranteed to outlive the mortal he makes the pact with.
Zelda presses a hand against her chest as if to slow her racing heart, but it does nothing. "I've already decided I want to protect you," reverberates in her mind over and over again. A small voice warns that she shouldn't accept his protection—not because she doesn't care about him (she does!), but because she cares about him. Her Champions swore to protect her and protect their kingdom of Hyrule and paid the price with their lives. Link survived, only just barely, but he paid that price with his memories instead. If something were to happen to Satan as well, she couldn't bear it.
The princess almost lowers quill to paper, but her hand is shaking so hard that she stops herself. The prospect of telling him 'no,' of pushing Satan a safe distance away, scares Zelda more than the possibility of losing him. It's foolish, selfish—the exact kind of narcissism Alastor has accused her of in the past.
But it's also something she genuinely wants. Ever since Sora wrote about paopu fruits in the journals, Zelda has been thinking about how tenuous her bonds are to her friends in Songerein. No one is native to the dream world and anyone might suddenly wake up from this dream at any moment. Everyone wants to go home someday, but doing so means losing, potentially forever, the dear friends she's made in her time here. Could a pact with Satan circumvent that inevitable parting? Could they continue to be a part of each other's lives for as long as she lives?
By now it's probably been several minutes or more since Satan stopped writing. Hopefully he doesn't think Zelda has just been ignoring him. ]
I think[ She pauses, trying to find the words she wants to say, then scratches out her false start. ] I would like to form a pact with you, Satan.I want to be clear that I am not interested in your power, no matter how great it is. I may never become even a fraction of the mage you are, even with this pact to amplify my magic. What I want is for you to remain a part of my life, even if we wake from this dream.
no subject
While he truly had thought about whether he should ever mention making a pact with Zelda for the last few months, he hadn't put much thought into what would happen afterward. Sure, he had weighed the pros and cons, had considered all the reasons why she might say no and then all the reasons she might say yes. But despite all this, he hadn't thought about what he'd have to do once he received an answer.
If her answer is no, it won't make him any less fond of her. Just as he had carefully thought about his own reasons for wanting a pact with her, he fully expects Zelda to do the same about whether or not it's something she wants to commit to. If her answer is no, it won't stop him from being by her side. A no to the pact is just a denial of the pact, not a denial of him or their friendship. That's something he can easily acknowledge now that he's not so overwhelmed by his emotions.
If her answer is yes... well, he hadn't really allowed himself to think that. He supposes that if that were the case, now that he is allowing himself to think about it, he would just... enter into a pact with her, as simple as that. Or at least try to enter a pact with her. He's obviously never tried to do so before here, and it may not even work.
Satan does see that, eventually, a response is on the page. He allows himself a deep, steadying breathing before properly reading the words she had written... only to find that somehow, she agreed. He knows better than to question her again -- if Zelda is agreeing, she's put thought into it. ]
I know full well that you would never use me just for my power.
[ Although he feels like Zelda has just taken him at his word about how strong he is. He hasn't actually demonstrated anything particularly noteworthy to her. ]
Then let us make that our goal. I can't say for sure if this world will even allow us to properly enter into a pact together, but if it does, we will always be connected. Although I obviously won't be taking your soul as "payment" for the pact, the pact will tie our souls together. Even if we should wake and perhaps forget our time together, the bond will be etched into our souls. And so, should we wake, I'll still know of our pact, and I'll come find you.
[ Which can't be that hard. While Barbatos may serve Diavolo, he apparently doesn't mind creating portals to specific times and locations. So, surely, Barbatos would be able to create a portal that led to Zelda's world should he ever truly wake from here. He'd just have to convince him. That would be the hard part. ]
I will warn you that the successful completion of a pact would leave a mark on your body. It isn't very big, and it won't hurt, but it's the physical manifestation of our pact. Think of it like the wax seal of a letter being stamped. It looks like this:
I didn't choose how it looks, for the record. That's just how it is. I also can't control where it might appear on your body. It could very well show up in the middle of your forehead, but I feel like it would appear on your back.
[ That is, after all, where his own demonic birthmark is. ]
no subject
A warm feeling spreads through her body, spreading from her chest, to her limbs, to the tips of her fingers and toes. "Should we wake, I'll still know of our pact, and I'll come find you." Her heart stumbles over itself as Zelda reads those words over and over again. She sinks lower in her window seat, the corners of her mouth twitching upward in a little smile.
The prospect of waking from Songerein frightens the princess. Being snatched away from the home she has made for herself, from the people she has come to love, to be returned to her real body inside the seal with Calamity Ganon, has become Zelda's greatest fear. There are nights the thought has kept her awake, lest sleep cause her to wake back in Hyrule. She shouldn't feel this way—returning to Hyrule and her duty of containing the Calamity should be her greatest desire. She simply doesn't want to go home anymore.
But just that little promise, however impossible it might actually be, sooths the worry Zelda has been pushing down all year. "I'll come find you." She will hold him to that.
She tilts her head as she examines the symbol Satan draws. A mark? She hadn't expected that, but it makes sense in context. Her eyes drift over to her right hand, still holding the quill. The mark of the gods isn't visible right now, but Zelda knows it's there. When she calls on her divine powers, the mark will glow. The mark of their pact would be similar, wouldn't it? A symbol of otherworldly power beyond the bounds of mortal imagination. But, she supposes, she won't look upon Satan's mark with the contempt she feels for her own powers. ]
Let us hope it does not appear square on my forehead. You may not be able to look at me anymore without laughing. [ She laughs a little. ] I should not be so flippant. Members of Hyrule's Sheikah Tribe sometimes tattoo the symbol of their clan, the Eye of Truth, prominently upon their brows. It is a sign of honor, worn by those of prominent Sheikah lineage.
[ ...But Zelda still hopes the pact mark doesn't show up on her forehead. ]
You truly do not need any form of payment from me for this contact? Not my soul, of course, but surely I have something else of value that can take its place. [ She pauses to think about it. ] What about my blood?
no subject
...Still, picturing Zelda with the mark of their pact square in the middle of her forehead does get a laugh out of him anyway, so she's definitely right there. ]
It sounds like the middle of their foreheads is exactly where the Eye of Truth is supposed to go. Although, given the fact the beast representative me is a unicorn
[ He circles the tall central line in the middle of his pact mark for emphasis. It can be taken to represent the horn of a unicorn, while the other two shapes beside it could be taken to represent demonic horns. He's not going to talk about the whole morning star theme that it could also represent. ]
then perhaps you are destined to wear this mark proudly on your forehead. Apologies in advance, should that be the case. I'll do my best to will it into a more modest spot, like your back, so that we can match.
[ When Zelda offers her blood in exchange, Satan rolls onto his side in his bed and laughs against the cover of his journal. He wants to respond with she's taking the vampire jokes too far, but he is also pretty sure she's serious about her offer. ]
There is no need for that. The making of the pact would be its own payment. Just as you are not looking to use me to boost your own strength, I am not looking to use you to boost mine. You've already granted me the only things I would be interested in: your friendship and your company. So, while I'm positive your blood is quite valuable, your acceptance of me for who and what I am, and as your friend, is the only payment I require. It is, after all, worth much more to me. You've also agreed to the idea of a pact on my birthday, so I think we're all squared away in terms of "payment."
It does occur to me that if the magic to form a pact does work and you ever wish to summon me to your side, I will actually need to give you an item that's precious to me.
[ There is only one item that comes to mind. It... would be perfect, he supposes. Although he asked the Wishing Well for it for himself, it would obviously align with Zelda's interests, too... but... Dammit. No, he likes Zelda more than that book, but he won't lie: it will be difficult to give it up. He'll do it, because he is being truthful when he says he cares about Zelda more, but that doesn't mean it won't sting a little after all the trouble he went through to get that book, only to give it up a second time. ]
cw: minor blood mention
A unicorn? [ She guessed that the two curved shapes probably represented demon horns, but she hadn't a clue about the middle. ] I would not have expected that. Is there meaning behind it?
[ It's a good thing Satan didn't say anything about the blood, because Zelda was being completely serious. She has used her blood—no more than a few drops—in rituals for the Goddess, hoping it would help the princess to hear the voice of her divine ancestor. The blood of one descended from the Goddess is probably rich in divine power and would be a valuable ingredient in many different types of magic. But if Satan doesn't want it (offering your blood to someone probably is kind of weird), Zelda won't push it.
A thought which completely disappears from her mind as Satan casually mentions that it's his birthday. Zelda fumbles her quill in surprise. His birthday? He's never mentioned it before, and they've known each other for more than a year now. But considering the dream they just woke up from, her surprise is brief. She understands how he feels... which is a strange thing to realize, when she thinks about it. Birthdays are typically happy days of celebration. Zelda has never known anyone to look up on their birthday with dread—until the Calamity occurred on her seventeenth birthday. She tried her hardest to ignore her birthday last year, except that her dream lantern rudely chose to share her dream of birthdays past. With that in mind, it's not hard to understand why Satan has never brought up his birthday before. It makes her wonder if he has every had a good birthday. Even though her birthday is now tainted by disaster, at least she has the happy ones from her childhood to look back on.
Zelda considers writing 'happy birthday' to Satan, but decides against it. She doesn't want to ruin the pleasant mood they've managed to find. And apparently she has already managed to give him a good gift by agreeing to form a pact with him. (Although, really, that's a gift to both of them.) ]
A physical item? Will my friendship and company not suffice for summoning you as well? [ She can't help a little grin. ] And I will need to find something to give to you as well, so that you may summon me?
no subject
[ He writes "of course" because there are a lot of things that set him apart from the rest of his family. No matter how small those differences may be, Satan is acutely aware of them. Whether its the difference in his birth, or the fact his animal is fictitious in the human world in comparison to the others' more reasonable animals like peacocks, crows and rabbits... the small differences add up over time. ]
I can't say for sure whether there is a specific meaning behind it. I've thought about it a lot, but I don't like any any of the answers I've reached. So, I've chosen to keep thinking until I find an answer I like.
[ Every conclusion he has reached involved him having some type of "otherness" to him, and he hates that. Zelda's complete acceptance of him has encouraged to think on it more, though, and so he makes the decision that he will, to the best of his ability, not let himself feel ostracized from the rest of his family. Lucifer's feelings toward him is a completely different matter, but he can accept that the rest of his family, to some degree, does care for him. ]
Ah, perceptive as always. While I do have control over the type of payment I'll accept to initiate the pact, I unfortunately do not have as much control over how certain aspects of the pact are fueled. The pact in general will still function even without me giving you an item that's precious to me, but summoning me is a more complex matter.
There's little use in summoning me if I'm five feet away from you, for example, and the further away I am, the more magic it will take to summon me. The item will serve as a conduit, in a way. After a while, you may be able to summon me without the need of the item, and even if you're unable to summon me, I should still be able to feel your attempt to summon me tug at me. Meaning, obviously, that I will come to you should I feel you tugging at me.
As for summoning you, that isn't the way the pact is supposed to work. That doesn't mean it can't work that way, but it's a bit taboo. The power of a pact isn't meant to be balanced, necessarily, but it's our pact. We can modify it whatever suits our needs best. Besides, the main reason it's taboo is because normally it would mean a demon would be summoning a human out of the human world and into the Devildom. Meaning, the human would probably be trapped in the Devildom and other demons may devour them.
[ ...He notices that he's writing to her as though the pact is going to work. As badly as he wants it to work, especially now that she's agreed, he doesn't want to get his hopes up too high. While there is no doubt that he would continue being by her side and that he would protect her if needed, he doesn't want his hopes to come crashing down if he tries to initiate the pact and it simply doesn't work. Well, he supposes in that case, he'll tease her for her good fortune in that her forehead will go another day without the mark of his pact. ]
no subject
She reads his explanation carefully. ]
I have never utilized summoning magic before. Is there a particular spell or method to it?—in addition to the focus item, of course. [ His warning that summoning him is complicated gives her a twinge of concern. ] Is it something that we could practice? I've never performed a spell successfully on the first try.
[ She's surprised to read that the summoning aspect of the pact is only intended to go one-way. What if Satan were in a situation where he had urgent need of Zelda and she was unaware or unable to reach him? It really is an unbalanced agreement, which Satan is clearly aware of. Then again, there are few situations in which he would urgently need her help. The princess is little help in a dangerous situation, not being a fighter or a skilled magic user; more likely than not, her presence would just make things worse.
Particularly in the devildom, it seems. That little mention of possibly being eaten by demons sticks out at her. ] Do demons often consume humans? Or mortals, I guess.
[ She doesn't actually think Satan would want to eat her (he's had plenty of chances), but now she's curious! ]
no subject
I've built it up to be this terribly difficult to use magic, haven't I? I'm sorry. If this world does allow me to initiate a pact with you, I'll help you every step of the way.
At the core of summoning magic--all magic, really--is intention. There are other things you can do to help you successfully use magic, like reciting incantations and mentioning the name of who or what you're trying to summon, but ultimately you need to rely on your heart.
I don't want to set up false expectations so, to be clear, it is a difficult thing to master. But, like I said, I will help you. We'll practice as often as you like. And even should you fail to summon me, I'll still feel your magic tugging at me, so should you ever genuinely need me by your side, I'll know to come.
[ Ah. Zelda would ask that. He decides to answer honestly, although. ]
We do from time to time, but not as often now as it might have been a few centuries ago. What we demons focus on is on the consumption of the soul. Our own souls are tainted and sullied, and so consuming the soul of a human who is sweet and kind is considered a true delicacy.
I suppose because of that, we are naturally drawn toward those with kind hearts, because the kinder the heart, the purer the soul. However, once Lord Diavolo began his quest to unite the three realms together as one, he strictly forbade us from doing anything that would negatively impact his goal.
I doubt you're suspicious of whether I intend to eat your soul, but I'll write it anyway: I should hope you understand our friendship means more to me than an afternoon snack.
[ He's not Beelzebub!! ]
no subject
But, as is often the case, his words ease the trepidation in her heart. Whenever he walks her through magic, the spells seem so much less daunting. The prospect of learning a sort of magic that Satan considers difficult—(and, from Zelda's perspective, he doesn't seem to struggle with any magic)—is intimidating. But his affirmation that he'll be there to help and guide her alleviates the worries that started creeping up. ]
Thank you. [ Zelda laughs a little to herself. ] I suppose I didn't even need to ask; I knew you wouldn't say no.
[ For her own reference, Zelda circles the second paragraph and dog-ears the page in her journal. She makes no remark on it, but the explanation resonates with her. At the core of magic is intention... but also heart. It seems so simple, so obvious, but it's never been spelled out this way for her. Not while she was growing up. She's always had to fumble through magic blindly by herself before now. But this lines up with everything she's been able to do—and not do—since arriving in Songerein. It's something to remember...
Zelda's brows furrow. Is... is he serious? Or is he messing with her again? This wouldn't be the first time Satan has teased her about something and the joke has gone completely over Zelda's head. She's getting wise to his antics!
But then again... maybe he is being serious. Demons are supposed to be frightening, aren't they? That's how most of the humans here seem to feel about them, at least. (And, considering Alastor, Zelda can't entirely blame them.) Eating souls is definitely frightening. ]
I can see where it would be difficult to maintain diplomatic relations with another realm when its residents have historically been treated as sustenance.
[ Don't ask what a soul tastes like. Do not ask what a soul tastes like. ]
What exactly does a soul taste like?
no subject
I'm always happy to practice magic with you. So, you're right: I could never say no to such a request.
[ Zelda's intense curiosity does not surprise him in the least, but in a way he wishes she hadn't asked. He debates for a moment, wondering how he should respond. He could throw Mammon under the bus instead, but... he wants to be honest with her. He has admittedly done some very... barbaric things in his past, after all, and he doesn't want to use the excuse of not understanding morals or emotions other than rage. It doesn't change the fact he'd done those things. ]
It varies. Demons are most acquainted with consuming darker souls. After all, we've little reason to go around killing kind hearted humans; they've done nothing wrong. A soul from a human who has committed severe atrocities isn't that enjoyable. It tastes foul, to be quite honest. I don't know what the soul of someone with a good heart would taste like, but I've heard it described as heavenly, and more of a physical sensation than anything.
I hope you don't regret asking that question now that I've answered it, though.
no subject
But Zelda is also conscientious of others---and has become so in large part because of her friendship with Link. She's aware that she might be treading into inappropriate territory. ]
No, not at all. As ever, I appreciate your willingness to be forthright with me, Satan. I suspect that my question might have been [ A pause. ] inappropriate. There are some dreamwalkers here that have a poor opinion of demons. I have also not forgotten that you expected me to run screaming from your presence when you introduced yourself as a demon and Avatar of Wrath. I am of the impression that my curiosity towards demonkind, as well as our relationship, would be seen in some other worlds as unseemly.
I will not be swayed from our friendship by the opinions of others, but I recognize that my curiosity may inadvertently land me on an inappropriate line of questioning. I should not like to ask you anything you are uncomfortable answering, so please inform me if I go too far.
no subject
[ That's not to say he doesn't ever resort to violence, but it's typically only with his family. And, while he knows it doesn't make it right, they're demons, too. No matter what spells he flings at them or how many punches he may throw, they're never in any serious danger. He has come to learn that those who aren't demons are a bit more... fragile. Typically, anyway. ]
I won't deny that asking questions like that to a demon you're not very well acquainted with may not be the best idea, but we're friends. You can ask me anything, and I will gladly answer to the best of my ability.
Besides, the origins of my birth is the only topic I'm uncomfortable discussing, and you're already well aware of it now. That, and the Celestial Realm. I suppose, thinking back on things, I may have given the impression that I was unwilling to share things about myself or my world. But the truth is that I was so interested in learning about you and your world that I never really thought to bring up those things about myself.
[ That, and it's weird to tell Zelda out of nowhere "Hey, so I've eaten souls before." Just as weird as blurting out "So, I was born from Lucifer's anger!" or "Did you know my tail is so sharp that it's dangerous to touch?" At least, Satan thinks it would be weird for him to share those facts out of nowhere. ]
Perhaps when we meet up next time, I'll arrive in my demon form. It is, after all, my natural form.
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It's also difficult for me to imagine what you were like back then. A person wholly, unthinkingly consumed by wrath is so different from the person you are now that, even after this dream, I cannot envision it. I do not doubt that you once were such a person, but you do not seem to be now.
At the very least, I would not describe you as unthinking. [ She grins a little as she writes it. A joke, ladies and gentlemen.
Satan may think it's weird to be sharing these facts about himself out of nowhere, but Zelda is glad to be learning them. She is conscientious of respecting her friends' privacy, but the more time she spends with them, the more she wants to learn about them. And when it comes to Satan, Zelda finds that she wants to know ever detail of his life. ]
Really? You would show me that? [ Her heart briefly stumbles over itself. ] I would quite like that, thank you.
[ Not seen: the hint of pink that comes to her cheeks as she imagines what his demon form might look like. ]
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Even though this body eventually materialized for me, it's difficult for me to even consider myself as a person when I was first born. I really was just an emotion. I was very reactive to everything around me. It may be "un-demon-like," but I am grateful that my family did not abandon me. My birth marked the end of their lives as Angels, the start of their banishment from the Celestial Realm and the death of our sister Lilith. My very existence should be unbearable to them, but, for the most part, they have welcomed me with open arms.
[ Satan knows that ultimately, he is the one who gets inside his own head. It's a difficult behavior for him to stop, though. Sure, he should know that his brothers must love him in some capacity - otherwise they wouldn't call him brother, or even interact with him at all. And yet, he often wonders if it's difficult for his brothers to look at him and not think about everything that happened around the time he was born. ]
My inability to feel things when I first gained a physical form is the reason I eventually grew to enjoy books so much. I can feel emotions now other than anger, thankfully, but when I was just starting out, it infuriated me that my brothers knew so much and I knew so little. It didn't matter that they had already been alive for thousands of years and I was only just born, in a sense.
So, I took up reading and read everything I could get my hands on. It helped me understand the view point of others, and as you know it's a wealth of information. Initially, I was reading so that I had something that my brothers could respect me for, and so that I could make up for the gap in experience between myself and my brothers. Now, though, I enjoy reading for what it is.
[ Mostly. There's still a need to read as much as he can so he can learn as much as he can to be respected by others. Also, Zelda... telling jokes!! ]
I would be glad to show you my demon form, but it's not very different from my usual form. In fact, all it does is add horns and a tail, so don't expect something beastly or ghastly. Try not to be too disappointed.
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Zelda muses over Satan's explanation as it appears on the page. What would it be like to feel only one emotion, instinctively, and be unable to comprehend the world around you through any other lens but anger? It's difficult to imagine, but it also sounds... frightening. The world must have been such a new and strange place for Satan to experience for himself for the first time, without things filtering through Lucifer first. And to have only wrath as a way to react...
But there's something else to it than that. ] You know, despite being born from wrath, it sounds to me like you may have also been born with the capacity for empathy. Perhaps you were only capable of feeling and empathizing with anger at first, which would make sense. But to learn the full gamut of emotions through your brothers and through reading— No, not simply to learn them. Learning would imply rote memorization and recitation. You were able to empathize with what you learned to such an extent that that you now authentically experience emotions for yourself. That's simply... remarkable.
[ As someone who grew up struggling to empathize with others, Zelda is amazed by how naturally it comes to Satan. (As most things seem to, from her perspective.) Really, she's just amazed by Satan. It feels like he's trying to describe himself as insufficient or broken compared to his brothers, but all he's managing to do is make Zelda more impressed by him.
Which she suspects might also be the case here, as he tries to downplay his demon form. His words get a little laugh out of her. ]
I shall curb my expectations then, but I'm sure your demon form is as pleasant to look at as your human form.
[ ...Wait. Zelda rereads her words, mortification slowly sinking in. Why did she write it like that? Why did she write that? She can't exactly just cross it out either; he's probably reading her words as they appear, as she is with his. Satan is surely, without a doubt, completely misunderstanding her right now.
After a moment: ] You know what I mean.
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I will deny ever writing these words if anyone ever asks me, but ultimately, I think whatever empathy I've learned is due to Mammon. Lucifer may have spent the most time molding me into who I am, but it was Mammon who taught me to consider the view point of others. He's always been the glue keeping our family together, and he's hyper-sensitive to the wants and needs of others.
Even though I give Mammon a hard time, he's always noticed when I'm feeling upset. I can never get anything by him when it comes to how I really feel about something. I kind of hate it, actually, but it makes me happy that he cares so much. If it weren't for him being so patient with me and teaching me that everyone's past experiences shape their view points, I don't think I would have grown half as much as a person.
As I said, though, I won't acknowledge any of the above ever again.
[ It's difficult not to feel insufficient when he is, in a literal sense, a being that sprang forth from part of Lucifer. If Satan only compared himself to his brothers, he wouldn't feel so bad. But, he's not able to stop himself from measuring his own achievements against Lucifer, and Lucifer bests him at essentially... everything... He has trouble admitting it, but a driving factor of why he tries so hard to keep his anger in check is because Lucifer couldn't. Hence his own birth. ]
Do you enjoy looking at me? Or are you saying my visage doesn't cause you to turn away in abject horror?
[ He's trying to tease her a little. He would be quite pleased if she really meant he was handsome, but he thinks she was just trying to assure him she wouldn't find his demon form monstrous. ]
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I had not realized it before, but you're right. Mammon is surprisingly attuned to the emotions of others. It is not a quality I would have expected from someone of his [ Uh oh, what's a polite way to say 'unintelligent?' ] temperament. I find I can never stay upset about something when I'm with him. He is very dear.
But I promise not to speak a word of this to anyone. You can count on me. [ Probably. There's a non-zero chance that Zelda would pull this out of her pocket to cheer Mammon up if he was ever in another depressive spiral like he was when Satan was comatose for a month.
"Do you enjoy looking at me?" Zelda's cheeks burn as she reads his words. Completely misunderstanding her! How can someone so smart misread her words like that?!
...Or at least, that's what she'd like to write back. But that would actually be kind of a lie. Zelda has noticed how handsome Satan is. The thought creeps unbidden into her mind when they meet. But it wasn't something she ever intended to say anything about; she doesn't want to unsettle her friend just because she finds him attractive. She doesn't want to lie about it, but maybe she can just brush it off before he thinks too much about it. ]
The former, if I am to be honest. [ Good thing this conversation is happening through the journals so Satan can't see Zelda turning bright red as she tries to play it cool. ] But surely you are aware of your own pulchritude. You have undoubtedly seen yourself in a mirror.
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[ This is an incredibly weak threat. At worst, he will be annoyed that Zelda dared share that he spoke positively about Mammon, but ultimately, he wouldn't mind that much. Although he gives Mammon a hard time like the rest of his brothers do, he really does take a different approach. While his brothers berate Mammon because he exists, Satan reserves his ire for when Mammon has actually done something wrong, like steal from him. ]
You truly are straightforward. I appreciate your honesty.
[ Unlike Zelda, right now he's lamenting the fact this conversation is over the journals. He'd love to see if she could have delivered that compliment with a straight face. He certainly wouldn't have been able to do the same to her. ]
So, I suppose that makes us even, then.
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[ Ymmv on just how sincere Zelda's reassurance is. It's the written equivalent of crossing her fingers behind her back as she promises she will never ever ever tell Mammon that his brother doesn't loath him with every fiber of his being.
Zelda is bracing herself for more teasing, but when it (apparently) doesn't come, she gives her journal a confused look. ]
"Even?" How so?
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[ Text communication or otherwise, her "tone" isn't lost on Satan. He knows her well enough--or at least, he thinks he does--to know that she would more or less keep her word, but she would absolutely share it given the right circumstances. ]
Ah, it's because you're "pleasant to look at," too.
[ Using her words makes admitting it a little easier. It's a conflicting feeling because he'd only noticed she was pretty after he realized he'd grown fond of her. He's not exactly sure what that says about him. Maybe he was ignorant? Well, he'd prefer describing it as being more interested in what Zelda had to say and what she thought. ]
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That's what he meant.
The color returns to her cheeks and Zelda is once again thankful to be having this conversation via the journals rather than in person. She clutches her journal in her lap and looks down at Satan's words with a shy little smile. A part of her is wondering if maybe he's just being nice, or maybe he doesn't mean it the same way she does, but a bigger part of her...for once, doesn't really care. Satan is kind and funny and smart and handsome; if he does actually think Zelda is pretty... Well, it feels nice. It makes her happy. It makes the little crush she's been nursing for months feel a bit less silly.
...None of which are things she is prepared to actually admit to Satan, of course. It might feel like there's a rather long pause before Zelda responds as she franticly wracks her brain for the best way to respond to being told that she is 'pleasant to look at.' ]
Ah, thank you.
[ Nailed it. ]
Truly.
[ How do you accept compliments??
Well, when all else fails, awkwardly exit the conversation abruptly. ]
Well, it is quite late. Or perhaps early. I had best try to get a little more sleep before dawn breaks.