Best day EVER!!!

[helluvaboss]

Sender: Blitzø
Subject: Best day EVER!!!

Comments

Sender: Mammon

[stupidmammon]

The fuck?? Did you name a skeleton horse stapler???

[helluvaboss]

holy shit first satan now mammon all the high rollers are here huh

[stupidmammon]

Lmaooo Well ya know, we need a dreamcation sometimes too yo

[helluvaboss]

well guess so, ritzy high demon society seems stuffy and annoying as hell

[stupidmammon]

Just be glad Luci ain't here anymore. He's the prudest of the prudes among us.

[helluvaboss]

No shit??? Lucifer had his own friggin princess daughter where im from so you KNOW hes a huge simp for his bitch there

[stupidmammon]

Uuuuugh don't remind me. I heard about that an' it gave me chills thinkin' about him not only poppin' out kids but who he had the kid with. Sometimes these alternate hell things are cool, like the way you guys look are pretty badass, but sometimes its so gags.

[helluvaboss]

What, Lilith?

[stupidmammon]

Yeah. In my world Lilith was our sis. So kiiiinda awkward when you find out your big bro has a kid with her.

[helluvaboss]

[There is a long, long, long pause as Blitzø absolutely loses his shit laughing. That is the funniest fucking shit he's ever heard in his LIFE.

Eventually he finally writes a succinct, simple:]

LMAO

[stupidmammon]

You know I'm pretty sure Angel had the same reaction.

[helluvaboss]

good ol biblical alabama shit holy SHIT that is funny

[stupidmammon]

If I ever get to meet this other Luci I'm gonna be like Dude what's wrong with you.

[helluvaboss]

idk man you haven't SEEN the Lilith from our world like hot fucking damn

[stupidmammon]

At the risk of soundin' like a hypocrite, is she hot?

[helluvaboss]

SMOKIN

[stupidmammon]

Shit.

Why do demons in your world gotta be hotties? I mean they're hotties in my world too, but still damn!

[helluvaboss]

everyones pretty fuckin hot its true, you gotta wait for a bitch to open their mouth before you know if they're horrible

[stupidmammon]

Yeah, that's somethin' I noticed about your hell. Ya'll are pretty mouthy.

[helluvaboss]

ITS SO FUNNY like all the people i talk to are so proper and fancy and dont cuss and it's like LOL who stuck a bug in your ass!! ur goin to hell no matter what bc u all suck just let loose!!

[stupidmammon]

SERIOUSLY! Like there's no reason to be so uppity. Ain't none of us any different. Just different powersets or whatever.

[helluvaboss]

I MET some pathetic losers from heaven and thse fuckers were trying to convince a shitty billionaire not to off himself like LOL

heaven is probably full of the most self riteous shitty no-cussing sex repressed WEIRDOS and even """"""nice"""""" people show the fuck up in hell bc they actually give a shit about stuff that matters so like

fuckin cut a rug or some shit, mortals are all gonna end up in hell ANYWAY.

[stupidmammon]

Ugh. Don't even get me started on the snobs up stairs. Nothin' more suffocatin' than bein' stuck with them for years.

[helluvaboss]

Still feel a little sad for the suckers that show up in hell and its getting overcrowded. Oh well. Good luck to them on the regular purges.

[stupidmammon]

It's still so crazy to me that you guys have such a huge abundance in your hell. I mean I've killed here an' there when I had to, but it ain't anywhere near the amount you guys see.