The Old College Try

[mansbestend]

Sender: Denji
To: Everyone
Subject: i write in the book and people read this???


OK so

I had a genius idea and wanna test sumthin

someone come swing at me. one guy and one girl. kick my ass if you want.

then we go eat or whatever after. i dunno.

Comments

[mansbestend]

it'd be cool to be able to take out some fuckers from a distance instead of gettin in their face. they won't see it comin!

[helluvaboss]

ATTA BOY

youll get to blow their fucking stupid brains out before they even know their in fuckin trouble it's the FUNNIEST THING

[mansbestend]

it'll get helpful against the zombie devil whenever he gets back. guns versus zombie hordes is like a classic!

[helluvaboss]

FUCKIN LOL hell yeah it is!! that and molotov cocktails those are a fucking riot too

[mansbestend]

maybe molotov lessons after rifles, yea?

oh nice. i've got some freaks lined up for a fight. i hope one of them's cute

[helluvaboss]

got some weirdos taking u up on the request u posted? lol

dunno if ur gonna get a worthwhile date if u get a girl thats just excited to beat u up.

[mansbestend]

i think every girl i've known has tried to kill me?

even a girl i think i was dating

she was fun

[...God, he misses her.]

[helluvaboss]

fuck, kid

you know you can date a girl without her trying to murderfuck you right

my ex is a bitch but she never tried to off me she just fuckin dumped my ass and got me arrested

I think im gonna vet the girls you talk to this is too much and I'm from fucking HELL

[mansbestend]

ehh it's a long story but it's not like that

the girls here seem ok tho. Loona and Octavia haven't killed me yet and they're both cute as hell

[helluvaboss]

NO

YOU DONT GET TO DATE MY LOONEY

SHE'S PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL AND SENSITIVE AND TOO GOOD FOR YOU YOU DON'T GET TO TAKE MY BABY FROM ME

[mansbestend]

haha, protective dad. i knew you were cool but lookin after ur kid is next level good stuff.

im bein honest tho. she's seriously cute. but stuff like 'too good for you' is part of why i do what i do, rite? i kick devil ass, i work hard, and one day a girl wants to date me or whatever.

1/2

[helluvaboss]

[whAT HOW DARE

You called him cool!! Said he was a good dad! Don't distract him! "This little shit!" he cusses at his journal, but despite his tail thumping angrily on the couch, he thought before scribbling a reply.]

[helluvaboss]

Looney deserves the best and she doesnt need some fuckboy thats gonna hurt her and I won't let some dumb BOY hurt her feelings

She IS cute as hell she's my pride and joy and I love her and Via barely knows me but Stolas is gonna give you the same shit when it comes to her too.

[mansbestend]

yup, that's fair. still gettin used to not bein hunted by bad guys every day, this place isnt bad.

what's a fuckboy?

[helluvaboss]

Fuckboy is a guy that doesnt give a shit about you or your feelings they just pretend they do when really they only care about getting to fuck

[mansbestend]

ohhh ok

yeah, i didnt know there was a word for that. sex and stuff's only good when you know the person really well and feel really close to em, anyway.

[helluvaboss]

Do u actually know that or did u have someone with a level head on their shoulders tell u that

[mansbestend]

I had an old friend lemme cop a feel for savin their cat and it wasn't as awesome as I thought it would be. Didn't know why.

So someone really smart told me that was because I wasn't interested in em in that way. If I really understood em on a really deep level, it'd be fuckin amazing.

I want that someday. I want somebody to get to understand me too, so it's good for em back. Problem is, I'm still catchin up on learnin about myself now that I don't have debt to pay back to the Yakuza.

[helluvaboss]

[There's... a lot of emotions all at once, hearing that. He can see himself in Denji to some regard - struggling to find that closeness and meaning.

Well.]

You'll go through hell sometimes... but you're not fucked up.

[Not like Blitzø knows he is. Blitzø knows he's too hurt to be good for anyone.]

Look after yourself and talk to people that treat you right. Everything else will happen natural if you do that.

small, vague CSM spoilers

[mansbestend]

["You'll go through hell sometimes... but you're not fucked up." He had to let his gaze grow distant at that. People are dead because of him. He'd even killed some of his friends. One, he'd even gone so far as to- His stomach turned at the thought.]

OK

[He did what was right. He did the only possible thing. Maybe one day he'll believe that, gut deep.]

Yeah. That's why I like all you guys at the office

You're all the first devils I've met who have just been cool with me since Pochita

It's really nice

[helluvaboss]

Good! The office is a family and like a good family, we'll treat each other right

[mansbestend]

hahaha

yknow ur real fuckin mushy for a guy who likes blowin shit up and throwing molotov cocktails

its really fun

[helluvaboss]

They say "get you a man that can do both!" LOL

Bitches love dudes with a sensitive side! Some dudes too but sounds like ur not into guys

[mansbestend]

nah, im not. saves you the trouble of vetting dudes i meet at least

[helluvaboss]

no fucking KIDDING thats a whole other can of worms. my hookups with dudes were always more annoying