The Old College Try

[mansbestend]

Sender: Denji
To: Everyone
Subject: i write in the book and people read this???


OK so

I had a genius idea and wanna test sumthin

someone come swing at me. one guy and one girl. kick my ass if you want.

then we go eat or whatever after. i dunno.

Comments

[sos_pilot]

[ Oh good, so at least they're both confused. Um, yay? ]

... Is your... shirt... mad because we're fighting?

[mansbestend]

My- what? No...!

[He reached into his shirt and eased the cord out between two button positions.]

I pull the cord and I'm s'posed to... change. But I ain't changin'. Instead it's just barks.

Maybe he's mad at me 'cause you ain't tryin' to kill me for real... like... everybody else.

[He brought a hand to the back of his head.]

...Crap, that was kind of a downer thing to say... I mean, it ain't a lie, but...

[sos_pilot]

[ Huh. Della supposed she should be a little more concerned about that, but then again, she and her own children were put in life-threatening situations daily... ]

Well... No offense, but I can't just... you know, try to kill you. And I doubt anyone else where will do the same! You'd have better luck trying that when actual monsters invade this place.

[ Not sarcasm or patronizing - this place does seem to run into danger once a month. ]

[mansbestend]

Nah, I wouldn't ask anybody for that, but I get what you're sayin'. What'd you mean about monsters...? You mean those nightmares the faeries were goin' on about?

[He took a minute to offer her a hand up if needed before dusting himself off.]

What... are they, though?

[sos_pilot]

Ah, the Noctare! They're destructive monsters made out of nightmares and negative energy. They can look like anything and can cause chaos in all kinds of ways - but you can tell they're noctare cause they've got black gunk oozing all over.

[ She wiggles her fingers for emphasis. She is best teacher. ]

And the only way to beat them is with good ol' dreamotion energy!

[mansbestend]

[Goopy nightmare monsters, negative energy. Got it. The finger wiggle sells it, really.]

That's feelin' good about stuff, right? Cancels 'em out.

[A pause.]

...I think I've got some real good memories somewhere that can help. You sound like you know a lot about the dreamotion stuff. Can we try that instead?

[sos_pilot]

Well... I may sound like it, but I'm no expert at it. Magic stuff like this has never been my strong point... shoot, the whole family used to be kinda anti-magic for a while, but that's another story.

[ Still, she's not about to say no! She came here to help, even if means just beating the shit out of each other. So she rolls her shoulder. ]

But let's give it a shot, what have we got to lose?

[mansbestend]

[He shrugged.]

Time? I dunno. Gotta think of a memory that really makes me feel somethin'. Like... like my first time havin' soba, even if it was kinda soggy 'cause I passed out.

[A pause. He was thinking really hard about it.]

Mm... nothin'. Uhhh... what kinda memories make it work for you?

[sos_pilot]

Oh, that's easy! I just think of my family! My uncle, my brother, my little boys... anytime I think of them, I'm filled with more energy than a million lightbulbs at once!

[ did she mention her family is awesome because HER FAMILY IS THE BEST, BETTER THAN THE REST ]

[mansbestend]

Ohhh... so you're one'a those super-moms.

[He smiled a little.]

So I gotta think harder. I need a happier memory! Like...

[Hmmm, give him a minute. Oh! He stopped to think, even scrunched his nose a little as his eyes closed. He and Pochita found a stray burger in the trash. It was still a little warm, and it tasted so good. They hadn't had anything more than bread in weeks...!

A small spark popped before him, and both he and Della would briefly have the warm and familiar sensation of being hugged, but that was it. He cracked an eye open.]

Oh... Oh, hang on, I'm onto somethin'. Keep goin'. Uhh... the boys! Tell me about 'em!

[His mom was very much dead but he could live vicariously a little bit. He wondered what she was like... would she have felt like she had million-lightbulb energy thinking of him?]

[sos_pilot]

[ She's not sure why her bragging about her kids helps him, but she's certainly not going to complain! ]

You won't be able to make me stop! I've got three, they're triplets! Huey's the thinker, can memorize any fact in seconds, and is awesome at getting Junior Woodchuck Badges! Dewey is a great performer, always down to boogie, and has the same love for adventure as I do! Louie is is so sharp, he can see through any con and scheme before bad guys think twice, and he's got a heart bigger than the universe!

[ The warm feeling is just gunna keep on growing - her word of hers is sincere, and she can easily babble about her babies non-stop. ]

[mansbestend]

[Triplets, only shit. Going from zero to three kids was wild, but he needed to focus. It was a very warm feeling as she spoke and he tried to vaguely recall anything- even just a glimpse- of anything remotely like that.

He brought his hands together and shut his eyes tighter. Come on, come on... she was happy and he could borrow some bit of that happiness! What made him happy!? Did anything make him happy?!

Something was in his hands, and it shocked him into opening his eyes. It was maybe six inches across in all directions, but he found himself holding... an orange ball.]

...Ah!

I did it! I dreamotioned something! A ball of... happy energy, I think!

[sos_pilot]

[ Oblivious to his inner workings, Della has just continued to babble on about her babies. ]

... And then there was the time Dewey took over a complete armada of singing sky pirates! He's got real leadership skills AND vocals, a deadly and powerful combo! And then there was the time he saved the family from a stoned curse in a forbidden golf course -

[ Then she finally seems to realize things are happening and being said. Buh? She blinks a bit, returning to the present. ]

Huh? ... Oh! That's great! Good for you!

[mansbestend]

[He squeezed the ball and seemed proud of himself. But... what does he do with this thing? Maybe he should hold onto it.]

Whatever happened must've been pretty powerful. You love the hell outta your kids, huh? But the stories sound like stuff outta those adventure books with planes and treasure and all that.

That's just every day for ya?

[sos_pilot]

Oh, you bet! My whole family loves adventures! We go on them every day, all the time! Why, I've been adventuring since I was younger than you!

[ ... She assumes he's young, anyway. You human people and your dang tallness. ]

[mansbestend]

Aw, man...! I would'a loved goin' treasure-hunting and stoppin' ancient curses and stuff! You even look like you fly planes and get into dogfights and everything, too!

We only get video games for that. ...Unless a devil flies a plane and wants a brawl sometime. But that's not happened yet, and I dunno how to fly a plane.

[sos_pilot]

[ Planes??? OH BOY. If anything, she seems to get even cockier and happier! ]

You have the eyes of wisdom - I am, in fact, the best pilot there's ever been! I take my plane, the Cloudslayer, all over the world for my family! And I've already begun teaching my kids how to fly, and I'd gladly take you under my wing!

[ Pause. Pause. Pause. Then she deflates. ]

... If... there were planes here. Which they don't have here. Which sucks here.

[mansbestend]

[He canted his head.]

But... dreamotion is about feelin' good and making stuff, right? You can't dream yourself a plane or look for parts?

I heard some people found a power plant out in the woods.

[sos_pilot]

Nah, man, nah! Planes are wayyyy too complicated for that. Look how much time and energy it took for you to make a ball!

Besides, no plane here could ever beat my precious, perfect Cloudslayer.

[ A pause, contemplating... ]

... But maybe one of these days, if I wind up dreaming about it, you can come aboard!

[mansbestend]

[Maaan but she was loaded with nice mom energy. She could totally make a plane if she wanted! Him? He made a ball. He was made of... Denji energy? Denergy?

He broke out of his momentary distraction.]

...Oh yeah, I remember hearin' about that. You can just dream about whatever, like a video game, and people can just pop in?

[sos_pilot]

Yup! It doesn't happen all the time, but I've gone into dreams before... Like, I went into this dream of a little girl decorating a Christmas tree, and it was sooooo cute!

[ And the mom in said dream was a drunken ass-hat that Della wanted to punch, but let's leave those details out. ]

[mansbestend]

That's really cool! And the kid knew you were there and everything? Damn, maybe I should think really hard of a good dream...

[He rubbed his chin.]

[sos_pilot]

Sorry, kiddo, I don't think it works like that. We don't exactly get to choose what dreams we share. Believe me, if we could, all of you would be flying planes in my head all the time!

[mansbestend]

Damn. ...Explains the weird shit that happens in my dreams sometimes. I think I was drowning in a bowl of udon once, and I even like the stuff.

[A pause.]

Yeah, I'm officially hungry. Let's get some udon.

[sos_pilot]

Aw, yeah! All this talk's got my stomach growling! And don't worry about the food, I'll pay for the both of us. No one else pays when you're a friend of Della Duck!

[ Which is why she... usually has no money and is definitely not going to inherit her uncle's bajillions. ]