bills, bills, bills...

[itsgunnabe_mei]

Sender: Meilin "Mei" Lee
To: All
Subject: $$$ For Warm Fuzzies

So, sending out a quick question to all my homies and newbies.

How much would you pay to hug a gigantic red panda? Use whatever currency you feel comfortable with, just tell me if it's high or low.

I may have a business opportunity in the works.

Comments

[itsgunnabe_mei]

[ Y'know, it would have been polite to give her some warning.

As is - ]

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

[ She screams in horror, flopping and flailing backwards. Her emotions are shot so high that...

POOF!

... she turns back into the panda. ]

WhatwhatwhatwhatwhatWHATISTHAAAAAAAAT?!

[refantasma]

[Nico did say ‘watch this.’ Isn’t that enough of a warning?

But he snickers at Mei’s reaction.]

I told you. He’s my chauffeur. My zombie chauffeur.

[itsgunnabe_mei]

[ She scrambles to get back to her feet! ]

WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHYYYYY? YOU WORLD HAS ACTUAL FOR REAL ZOMBIES?!

[ He doesn't feed it brains or stuff, right?! She's staying where she is, a comfortable distance away! ]

[refantasma]

Because zombies or zombie-like beings are in every culture? And I'm the son of Hades.

The correct term for what I summon is vrykolaka, but zombie just sounds better. Everyone knows what a zombie is.

[He shrugs.]

Anyway, I think my power wigs out more people than turning into a giant plush.

[itsgunnabe_mei]

HADES?! AS IN THE GOD OF DEATH AND THE UNDERWORLD?!

[ Okay, this has been a lot of yelling and scrambling. She's getting tired. She sits on her butt, paws on her face, trying to control her breathing. ]

... I'm gunna need a few minutes.

[refantasma]

He's not the god of death. That's Thanatos.

My father is the god of the dead, those in the Underworld.

[He rolls his eyes.]

Jules-Albert won't eat your brains. He's not even a combatant.

[itsgunnabe_mei]

Good to know.

[ Apologies if that sounds like sarcasm, it is indeed genuinely good to know.

She otherwise doesn't respond, doing some light breathing exercises in order to calm down....

POOF!

And she de-pandas. ]

... Okay. Okay. I think I'm okay now. I'm totally fine.

[ ... while she still has her hands over her face. ]

[refantasma]

You sure? You don't look fine.

[He haves Jules-Albert over and gives him a cookie.]

I already told you he's not going to eat you? See? He likes cookies.

[itsgunnabe_mei]

... He does?

[ She begins to lower her hands. While Jules-Albert does still look kinda terrifying, seeing a zombie eating a cookie is kinda... well.

Adorable? ]

... Huh. He does! Can he, like, actually digest that and everything?

[refantasma]

[Nico thinks over the question, looking over at Jules-Albert.]

I've never asked. I know they can taste it. Ghosts taste food better. When you summon a ghost, you offer them food so they'll speak to you. The zombies just need to hear my call.

[Jules-Albert chatters the answer at him.]

Nope, they don't digest it. The taste is good enough for them.

[itsgunnabe_mei]

Hm... I suppose that's better than nothing. Taste is super important! I don't know what I'd do without it.

[ She hesitates, then takes a step forward. ]

I'm sorry for freaking out at you, Jules-Albert.

[refantasma]

[Jules-Albert looks at Nico and chatters something in the language of the dead.]

He says it's fine. We're used to it.

[itsgunnabe_mei]

Still, that doesn't make it right. I wanna make it up to him! Is there anything I can do?

[refantasma]

Uh... [He looks at Jules-Albert, who looks at Nico, and Nico can tell he's amused. He chatters at Nico.]

Give him a hug as that big panda thing?

[itsgunnabe_mei]

[ Hug a corpse?! Ewww! He might be smelly and sticky... But. Mei does not go back on her word!

She hesitates, then shakes her head, and closes her eyes -

POOF!

... and the panda returns! ]

... Hugs will be had! I can do this!

[refantasma]

Apparently, his son's favorite animal was a red panda. [He looked at his chauffeur.] You never told me you had a kid. [Jules-Albert chatters at him.] Well, you're not exactly the most forthcoming of my zombies!

[He stares in mild disbelief as his chauffeur goes up to Mei in her giant red panda form and hugs her.

He wonders what that's like. His zombies aren't sticky, though they do smell, though because of magic, it's not as obvious as normal corpses.]

[itsgunnabe_mei]

Awww...

[ Okay, that revelation does help. She hopes the man can reunite with his son!

... Her senses are a bit heightened due to being a Panda, so there's a small wince with the smell, but she works through it to hug him back. ]

... You want in on this, Nico? Plenty of room for everyone!

[refantasma]

[Jules-Albert was a race car driver in the eighties, so his son was probably in his twenties or thirties by now if he was still alive. He could be in New Rome for all Nico knew.]

No.

[He shakes head.]

I'm not the hugging type. Only my sister gets hugs.

[itsgunnabe_mei]

Well, if you ever change your mind, the offer's always available! Free of charge, since I... screamed at the both of you like a crazy person.

[ She still feels it was a sensible reaction, but at the same time feels super guilty, so... all's well that ends well? ]

[refantasma]

I'm used to it.

[itsgunnabe_mei]

[ She's not terribly surprised, yet - ]

That doesn't make it right! I'm gunna do my best to spread the word that you're both good guys and not scary at all!

[refantasma]

[Nico scowls.]

I am scary! I'm a necromancer! The dead are mine to command.

[He crosses his arms over his chest and doesn't pout. He glares. It's a bit of both]

I'm the scariest person you'll ever meet.

[itsgunnabe_mei]

[ ... Eyebrow quirk? She's a little confused. ]

... You don't want me to be scared of the zombie, but you want me to be scared of you?

[refantasma]

[Like most fourteen-year-old boys, Nico doesn't know what he wants.]

I'm just saying. You should be scared of me.

[He wants that. And he doesn't want that. Life is hard.]

[itsgunnabe_mei]

... Yeaaaah, no go. No offense, but telling me you prefer sister hugs and like to give your chauffer cookies kinda makes you adorable, not scary. Plus, I've been, like, kidnapped by dragons and I'm besties with demons. You're not really near scare-material for me.

[ That's the way the cookie crumbles. ]