Eustace (
flamekthunder) wrote in
dreamcrystals2023-07-08 07:26 pm
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Entry tags:
eight entry ⊗ bauble trip home
Sender: Eustace
To: Everyone
Subject: Successful Use of Baubles to Return Home
For those who may not have noticed, recently the baubles used for the Wishing can be used to return to our home worlds and still be able to return. It was a risk, but given the prospect of this for the ongoing research of staying in this world permanently, I tried it myself.
It works.
I departed on the first of the month and according to Tifa, returned after three days here. As before, the time passed in my world was several months and as expected, I still did not retain any memories of my time in Songerein while in my world.
I had the researchers at the Observatory study the dreamotion energy during this process to see if they can learn more about our connection between this world and our world. If there are any who wish to try or plan to return to their home world through the use of the baubles, I would like to request if they could study your trip as well.
It does appear that the more common "random connections" is still occurring. Regardless, I hope this message eases some concerns others might have in wanting to temporarily revisit their world on their own will.
To: Everyone
Subject: Successful Use of Baubles to Return Home
For those who may not have noticed, recently the baubles used for the Wishing can be used to return to our home worlds and still be able to return. It was a risk, but given the prospect of this for the ongoing research of staying in this world permanently, I tried it myself.
It works.
I departed on the first of the month and according to Tifa, returned after three days here. As before, the time passed in my world was several months and as expected, I still did not retain any memories of my time in Songerein while in my world.
I had the researchers at the Observatory study the dreamotion energy during this process to see if they can learn more about our connection between this world and our world. If there are any who wish to try or plan to return to their home world through the use of the baubles, I would like to request if they could study your trip as well.
It does appear that the more common "random connections" is still occurring. Regardless, I hope this message eases some concerns others might have in wanting to temporarily revisit their world on their own will.
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[A small laugh.]
But you don't really have to work too hard...
[And his hands will slide more behind her as he presses a little more against her, voice lowering close to her lips.]
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[Well, how is she supposed to resist him now? The urge too strong, Tifa brings her arms up so that she can slide them behind his head to bring him down to meet her partway for a tender, but passionate kiss. The kind that lingers, a tingle across her lips afterward, but she keeps it brief, lest they leave their customers waiting for much longer.
Her hands remain in his hair, though, fingers stroking his soft, white locks gently as she gazes up at him.]
... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry, just... it was a possibility I couldn't stop thinking about. [Tifa shakes her head gently, and lets her head drop to his chest again.] Even if you did back home, I'd be happy for you, but...
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And at her words and her gaze, a knowing, melancholic one is returned as he lets her rest against him, a hand rising to gently stroke the back of her hair as they stay in silence for a few moments.]
...I know. It's something I had to come to terms with about you a long time ago.
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[Miss Oblivious over here, and she'd lift her head again if it weren't for the way he was stroking her hair in just the exact way that she likes it.]
What do you mean, came to terms about me?
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He can't help but give a wry grin.]
Maybe I shouldn't say anything...
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Say... what?
[HOW IS HE GOING TO DIG HIS WAY OUT OF THIS ONE?
Here, she'll throw him a bone.]
You know that there was just that one boy I had a crush on, right...? He bought steamed buns from me, way back when.
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[He's still looking at her with a amused smile... While pitying Cloud so much.
And so that smile turns a little wistful as he leans back so he can cup her face in his hand, thumb lightly stroking her cheek.]
...But that was just in a dream. And while I'm glad I've filled your heart and mind so much for you to no longer consider it... It doesn't change the fact that we wouldn't even be together like this if Cloud hadn't avoided you back in Camelot.
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You don't know that.
[While it's true that Tifa had been heartbroken at the time and had turned to Eustace for comfort, it wasn't because she was heartbroken that she ended up falling for him instead. She's run over those what-if scenarios a hundred, no, a thousand times in her head and it's hard to find one where they don't end up together.
Or maybe it's her bias making it seem that way, but regardless, she can't and doesn't want to imagine that other life. Not right now.
As for what that means for her back home...]
I don't know. Cloud is... [Different. Strange. Distant. So many things that Tifa still doesn't understand, and all of that scares her, so she'd rather not think about it. Not now.] He's not you.
[He still holds a place in her heart, no doubt, but Eustace... he holds her whole heart in his hands.]
A-anyway... I'm sorry. [She hugs him again, that wistful smile of his pressing on her heart.] I'm just glad you're back... and that you haven't forgotten me.
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It would be a lie to say that he doesn't have fears of what if she did return back to her world and returned with knowledge or after developing feelings for Cloud over there. How would she try to reconcile the both of them, if her feelings or views of him would change.
But he doesn't say it right now. Instead he just holds her close.]
Mm...
[And he hugs her just a little tighter.]
I'm home.
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[It bears repeating, no matter how many times she's said it already, but it's immediate, like an instinctive reaction to his words. No matter the time, she would always be there to welcome him back, and this is no different, and she's grateful that things still haven't changed for them.
Though, it's that very thought that carries her to the next one...
Just a little longer, though. She's going to hold him, savour this, the sound of his heartbeat that she missed so much, for just a few moments longer.
Until...]
It all got me thinking...
[She begins slowly, her head remaining where it is on his chest.]
What was it like... to go back? I mean, what did it feel like?
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...Like waking up from a long dream. I remember feeling a bit disoriented for a bit before everything went on like usual.
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It's not easy to hear it, but... this is important. Not just to his return and any potential journeys there and back, but for their own mission to stay. It's important that she knows all there is to learn about these baubles, the well, and what happens...]
... Like you didn't remember the dream?
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...It was exactly the same as before. I had no memory of anything of this world...of you.
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Here I was hoping the baubles would've changed something...
[That's asking for far too much, though. And beyond bringing him back, she doesn't want to risk it and ask for more.]
How did you know that it was time to come back?
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[Another heaviness in his tone as he nuzzles closer against her hair.]
I just fell asleep one night... And it was only then that I started dreaming bits and pieces of Songerein before I appeared by the well.
[Covered in glitter. Honestly there's probably still some on him despite his best attempts to get rid of it all—]
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So... there's really no way to control how long you're gone for, huh...?
[A pensive, thoughtful frown crosses her face as she leans back, keeping her gaze downcast at his chest as she turns that thought over in her head.]
Could be weeks, months... even years before those dreams come back...?
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[He gently strokes her back for a moment.]
But we can still try and change that. At the very least, we know the Well and the baubles help maintain some connection between both worlds, and I have the researchers studying how that connection works. We can ask others to volunteer and share their findings, too.
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I could give it a try...
[She doesn't know what would happen, or what it would mean, but... it's been something that has been on her mind for a while now. A long time. It's been years since she's been home and if it would help with the research, then maybe...?
Though, there's no hiding the very real fear that edges her voice, soft and quiet as it is.]
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[The word escapes him before he even thinks about it, his grip tightening as a wave of dread ripples through him. That fear that if she comes back she...]
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Don't...?
[Though, she understands... Those three days without him back then and even now when she knew he would return were not easy. She wouldn't wish it on anyone to miss their loved ones as much as she missed him, or to worry as much as she had, least of all Eustace.]
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...
It's when she comes back that he fears. Fears of what might change, of... How her feelings for him may change. But can he really tell her that? To imply he doesn't trust her when that's not it at all? In his head he knows that without their memories there's nothing he or she can do. That it wouldn't be anyone's fault and that she, too, would suffer. And maybe he's wrong and nothing would change at all. Maybe his suspicions and worries won't happen.
...But it's there, worsened by how he could see the way Cloud was affected by Tifa's relationship with him. And he can still remember how brokenhearted she had been back in Camelot.
How childish of him.]
...Just... Not yet.
[Maybe he could send Cloud first—]
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[She doesn't quite understand yet what it is about the idea that strains his heart so much, and she can really only chalk it up to one thing—the wrong thing, but it makes her own heart swell with emotion.
Because the thought of leaving all of this behind—of leaving him behind and forgetting it all, everything that they have, even if it is just for a little while, hurts. She wants to go back and check on things, she wants to see how her friends are doing, how far they might have gotten in their journey to find Sephiroth, but knowing that leaving here means having a hole left in her heart that she would never know needed filling...
The thought alone has her burying her face into his chest again, her own hold tightening around him until it can go no tighter.]
... Okay. Not yet. [A pause, and she lifts her head and slowly rises on her tiptoes.] I'm sorry...
[For scaring him, for making him worry, for making his heart hurt even a little bit.]
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...No.
[He meets her and brushes his lips against hers, a small sigh escaping him before he kisses her gently.]
It's my fault.
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[The words are whispered across his lips, Tifa pausing to nuzzle her nose lovingly and reassuringly against his.]
You didn't do anything wrong...?
[Something odd is going on in that heart of his, and she does wonder if it has anything to do with what he said earlier about coming to terms with her and her world. Does he... know something that she doesn't? ... Is he just as afraid that things will change when she comes back?
She wants to ask, but her heart feels heavy, and she doesn't want to tarnish this reunion with any more sadness if she can help it.]
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I'm just being selfish, that's all.
[Not completely a lie, yet not completely true.]
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🎀