dreamcrystals | (no subject)

[Yeah, he's tackled back onto the couch, and he's laughing the entire way, and once his back hits the soft fabric, he shoves Naoya playfully, only barely trying to actually get him away.]

Someone's feeling bold for their millionth birthday.

[Nope. He leans against Kazuya with all of his weight.]

You're a brat, that's why.

If I'm a brat, I'd hate to know what that makes you. Other than a grouchy old man, of course.

[Could Kazuya easily get away? Absolutely. It wouldn't take much effort, if any at all. But right now he's living, because Naoya is seemingly enjoying himself, and not afraid of him, and it's almost like home. Home before everything happened.

Kazuya stuffs his hand into Naoya's face and pushes, gently.]

Maybe I am.

[He moves his face away but jabs a bony elbow lightly against Kazuya's ribs.]

But you can't stay away from this 'grumpy old man', heh.

[Which is partially his fault and was partially his intent - to make Kazuya reliant on him, to follow where he led... apparently that only went so far. But he does his best to pull his thoughts away from that and instead licks the hand that's on his face.]

Oof.

[ Obviously it doesn't hurt, but he still grunts as hes elbowed... and then makes a horrific noise as his hand is licked, making him jerk away hard. ]

Ugh! You're so gross! I can't believe you actually licked me!

[ Like Kazuya didn't get his own slobber all over Naoya only moments earlier...

He's going to try and wipe it off on Naoya's clothes. ]

You're the one who put your spit in my hair.

[He leans into Kazuya again and sighs. This... this is the best kind of present.]

Deal with it.

That's different.

[Yeah, he's wiping the gross spit on Naoya's haori. Right where it belongs, honestly.]

And I am dealing with it. It's your birthday, so I'm sure you've noticed I have not absolutely destroyed you for licking my hand.

Sure it is. And if you were to try, we'd have to take this outside. You know I wouldn't go down without a fight.

[He doesn't really want to do that, though. He's had enough fighting Abel for a lifetime or two.]

No need to take it outside. I could best you in one move.

[... Because Kazuya has absolutely been able to do that every previous time he's ever lunged for Naoya.]

Sure, sure. As if I don't know your secrets.

[... There aren't really any secrets, but it sounded cool to say.]

... Like what?

[.... What secrets does he even HAVE at this point???]

Like exactly where to scratch you and make you shiver.

[That... sounded worse than he meant it to.]

....

[Kazuya shoves his hand into Naoya's face again, and this time pushes him a little more earnestly.]

Don't say things like that. You weirdo.

[He pulls his face away and sighs.]

One would swear you're a cat some days. It's amusing.

How else am I supposed to react when you say things like that?

[ What does Naoya want from him!!! He's being a good boy, Naoya isn't eating dirt for that comment. Or the calling him a cat, comment.]

Exactly the way you are. It's amusing.

... But on a less amusing note, I really do... erm.

[His face flushes oh so slightly pink.]

... That is to say, I... do appreciate you being here with me.

[ Wow, he's not allowed to be so earnest and vulnerable near Kazuya. Kazuya has a very specific mental image cultivated of Naoya through out all of their years living together, and him being genuine like this, of not being smarmy and grinning like he's plotting something is not it.

Especially after he's made such weird comments at him.

Ugh. ]

I was worried you hated me, for awhile. [ He hedges, tone unsure and he looks just about everywhere that isn't Naoya. ]

Or... I guess afraid of me. Which is worse. Even if you have every reason to feel both at me.

... I'm still convinced you must hate me for what I've done to you.

[He slumps backwards a bit, looking away. How to even put this...]

When you - the other you - said that you didn't, I told him I didn't believe it. And it's still... hard to believe.

And I... don't really fear you. I have a reasonable respect of your powers, but not you. If you were to hurt me... I couldn't really fault you for it. You wouldn't do it unless you needed to, or I deserved it.

[Leading back to the whole 'hating' thing.]

Tch... I'm not normally this soft but you're... the only one I feel I can be vulnerable around.

[Because Kazuya knows, more than anyone else alive in their world, what he's gone through. Even if he really only has a fraction of the idea of the pain and torture he's been through... it's more than anyone else.]

[ Kazuya lifts his arms, pulling Naoya into a tight hug, ducking his head against the crook of his neck. ]

I can't hate you. [ But he's glad, for at least one thing: That the other him said as much, even despite what had transpired. ] And I wouldn't ever want to hurt you. I'm annoyed at what happened, how it happened, sure, but I don't hate you. And I don't want you to have to feel like you need to respect my power, or have to be worried about it or anything. We're brothers, and we're equal.

[ And beyond that, Kazuya bound himself to Naoya to make sure that there was never any way for him to hurt him. ]

[He sure did want to hurt him in the other timeline... or was it merely because he was in the way? He's not sure. He hugs Kazuya back, resting his chin on top of the other's head.]

Well, not respect in the sense that I won't pester you. But in the sense that I know you're powerful and can use it, yes. ... Even still, you're my brother. Even... aside from Abel being within you.

[As awkward as it is to admit. Kazuya's Abel, but he's also not. It's hard to separate the two sometimes... since if Abel were in the modern day, he'd be so similar...]

[He feels like his heart skips for a moment, just enjoying being held by someone who knows him and cares about him. He lets out a few slow breaths and closes his eyes.]

... It's difficult. Sometimes when you lose someone, you see them everywhere. Maybe it's their soul from another life, maybe it's just your imagination. ... I know I've treated you unfairly because of Abel, but it's...

[Damn, what's gotten into him? His face flushes a little more red.]

... You're my brother, either way.

I'm happy to be your brother, you know. Even if I'm not Abel, his soul is still a part of mine. So I don't really mind if you see him in me, you know.

[As long as Naoya recognizes that they're different people, which he does, but also... It's complicated for Kazuya too. He's not Abel. But Abel is him. He's Abel's legacy, in a way. A victim of Cain's, and to an extent as Kazuya, a victim of Naoya's.

He wonders then, if maybe they're doomed to repeat things.

Would that mean that there's a chance in the future for Naoya to kill him? Maybe not him as the Overlord, but maybe as the Messiah. He wonders if other him has thought about that, is as alright with that as he is.]

... And I'm also happy when you call me your brother, you know.

[It's just that the situation is weird, and no one would understand but them!]

[He just feels... warm and happy. He huffs and nuzzles into his brother. It's hard to describe what they have - it's a sibling bond, but it's more than that. It's pain and loss and thousands of years of history, and no one else can understand.]

[He just goes silent, holding Kazuya and feeling him against his chest like they used to when they were younger. He's quiet for a few more long moments before he speaks up.]

... We're very odd, aren't we?

[To say the least.]

You're odd. Don't drag me down to your level.

[He grumbles, but he's really not fighting against it, and what he is, is really more of a token than anything else, since he's perfectly comfortable where he is right now.

After a few moments of silence, he finally speaks up:]

What was Abel like, anyway? You said I'm like him, but there's gotta be some differences, right?

Edited 2023-12-05 03:33 (UTC)

So we're not on the same level then? Hm.

[But he's playing. ... His eyes close at the question though, and his posture grows a bit... less tense. He's always holding himself with tension and care, but that question...]

He was... kind. Kind enough that when it first came to slaughtering a sheep he cried the whole afternoon, even after it was explained to him that it was necessary for us to live. The sheep were the only outside friends he had. ... We were the only human friends we had in the world.

Abel was also fierce. He had to be - he drove off attacks from predators that would harm the sheep. More than once I had to help treat his wounds. ... I'd scold him for being reckless but he'd just smile and say "I'm protecting our family." I... knew he was right, but I was afraid of blood back then. Afraid of part of my brother being lost.

... Ironic now, I suppose. But life's full of little ironies.

He wasn't the one who had to deal with complicated plans, so he spent most of his time whittling or making grass dolls or drawing things in the dirt. We didn't spend as much time together when we were older, but he was always by my side whenever we weren't doing our work. We squabbled sometimes, but we were still best friends.

[Though he'd always suspected their parents loved Abel more. They took more care with him... maybe it was because they didn't know anything they were doing with him, but still...]

I... mm. I loved him more than I could ever express.

[When he found out what he had done to Abel's soul in the process of killing him... that life didn't end well.]

Only when it comes to this.

[But he listens, though. Listens to everything it is that Naoya says, because he asked. He wants to know, about this person who he shares the same soul of. A shattered soul now complete within him, as strange as it sounds.

From what Naoya says, they do have a lot of similarities. Kazuya would do anything for his family. For his friends. To protect them at the cost of himself, even. Maybe he doesn't have the urge to do anything artistic like whittling or making dolls or drawing, but that's not to say he'd probably be bad at that either.

Naoya says he loves Abel more than he could express. Kazuya knows that in the core of his very being. Knows that the love he has for Abel is also the love he has for him. It's not lesser, it's equal, because both him and Abel are equal parts each other.

He's quite, but he does reach a hand up to stroke Naoya's hair in a comforting manner.]

I'm sorry. What happened shouldn't have happened. It wasn't your fault.