dreamcrystals | Journal Entry ♦♦♦1

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Journal Entry ♦♦♦1

Sender: Nier
To: All
Subject: Services

[He's still getting the hang of this journal stuff, though admittedly the thought of it reminds him of older times and the legible feelings belonging to his wife in her final days. Nier's writing isn't particularly great. Not quite chicken scratch, but not impressive by any means.]

Not really sure how this works. Guess you just write stuff down.

I haven't been here long. Still getting to know the area. The people.

Name's Nier. I know there's another Nier here. I'm older than him, so call me 'Old Man,' or whatever. We aren't the same.

I did jobs for the people back home and I'm planning to keep myself busy. If you have something that needs doing, I'm your man.

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I guess that's true.

If you want to call me 'Nier' then call me 'Nier.' Everyone else can find their own way to separate us.

It's what Yonah would have called you too.

I might have the same name as you but we don't look alike.

Your Yonah, you mean.

[Because his... obviously called him 'dad.'
He's trying to imagine what it'd be like for her to have called him by name and he knows he would double take.]

But you're right. We don't look much alike at all. I guess you look a little as I did when I was younger. You look more like Yonah than me.

The Yonah I knew didn't grow up with a father. She always seemed lonely and she didn't have many friends.

I still think she would have liked you.

Yeah, you said that before. Your father passed away early on or something?

[It sounds insensitive when he writes it, but that's the problem with writing. He knows that they lost their mother. He can't help being curious over the man they might have called their father. Who could be so irresponsible to leave their kids behind, after all?

...Oh, right. Him. Isn't he guilty of the same thing.]

Right. It happened a long time ago so I couldn't tell you exactly what happened or why it happened.

Death always comes without warning. Did you lose someone important too?

[Death always comes without warning. If that isn't one hell of a heavy statement, Nier isn't sure what is.]

Yeah. My wife. The Black Scrawl.
It was just a matter of time without a cure.

[ He might just be a kid but he's seen a lot of things and how cruel the world can be. ]

I'm so sorry to hear that. It must have been hard for you.

It's never easy to lose someone.

You went through the same thing with your parents. I can't imagine that's any easier.

[This is not a competition.]

But we look forward. Nothing we can do for any of them now.

[And that's a lot easier to say. Nier's sure he thinks about his wife more than he says he does. And he suspects it's likely not so different for his younger counterpart.]

It was really difficult to manage things without parents.

I'm fine, but I couldn't say the same thing for Yonah. I don't think it's fair that she had to go through all that. She's just a kid. [ You know, if you put things into perspective this Nier is a kid too. ]

Do you think we're being punished?

[Another dark way of looking at it. It's... possible that there's some potential in that statement. Punishment. Nier wouldn't know what either of them are being punished for, however, so he's of the mind to dismiss it.

At least he'd like to. He knows he'll end up thinking about it far more than he'd like to.]

No. I think we just got a lot of crap thrown at us and we were just unfortunate enough that it stuck. That's all.

Yonah didn't do anything wrong. She's just an innocent little kid. I know she deserved a much better life.

She had her whole future ahead of her. Everyone just wanted to see her be healthy too.

If it's all just crap then I'm going to do something to change it.

It's not a 'had.' You can give her a better life. You will give her a better life when you wake up.

[Because only one of them needs to be speaking in past tense. And in his case, it's not a matter of tense at all.]

There's not some deep reason as to why these things happened. You didn't do something to anger a god and you don't deserve what you've gone through either. It's just a bad situation and that's how you have to think of it.

It's just a bad situation and this isn't punishment.....okay. I promise I'll do what I can for Yonah. There's still so much I need to accomplish after I wake up.

If there's a huge monster or shade I'll simply kill it like always. Would you have done that too?

[In hindsight, Old Man Nier realises that he may be projecting his own wants and desires onto his younger counterpart. 'Do what I couldn't,' seems to be the implication and in writing all of this, it gives him something far deeper to consider.]

I wouldn't let anything stand in the way of something I want. Monster, beast, or shade. I'll cut them all down.

[In short, yes. That's exactly what he would have done. There is nothing he wouldn't do for his daughter.]

I found a really powerful monster earlier. They called him the Mutton Man and he just attacks people indiscriminately.

I wasn't strong enough to just defeat him on my own so...he's still out there.

Be careful if you see him. I wouldn't want you to get hurt even though I know you're strong too.

[Nier knows that even though he is strong, and there's no doubt that he is, there are some things he just can't do on his own. He talks a big game. He has to. But he isn't infallible. As a result, he can't, in any way, assume this his counterpart is either.]

So this guy hasn't been stopped yet? Maybe we need to be the ones hunting him down. Can you give me anymore information or is that about as much as we have to go on?

[A physical description? Location? Other habits? Surely anything here would do.]

Of course, I can give you more information. That won't be a problem.

The guy usually carries around a bloody butcher knife. He looks shady and I think you'll know when you see him. He attacks you first.

Just be prepared for that encounter if you ever run into it.

[Great.
It's not as though he didn't need another reason to be carrying the sword on his back. He makes a note to start sleeping with it as well.]

Got it. Guess we'll just play the waiting game. If he comes around, he'll regret tangling with me.

A waiting game...that sounds right. There isn't much more we can do about it for now.

I'm a little worried about you too though. How much fighting experience do you have?

[ They might have the same name but the other Nier is his own person and judging by first impressions alone he looks powerful. ]

[More experience than you, most likely.
He doesn't actually write it because it seems fairly obvious. He's older. Wouldn't it make sense that he had more battlefield exposure? 'Battlefield' seeming to be a generous word, because it's less that and more just a repetitious onslaught of enemies.]

I have enough that you don't need to be worrying about me. But if you're concerned, we can just stick together. Two heads are better than one.

Maybe I'd end up worrying about you no matter what.

I know you can take care of yourself but I would rest easier if we just stayed together.

I think I can get that. Easy to say we're not gonna worry. Harder to put that into motion.

Stay close to me. We can protect one another.

[He really wants to say he'll protect this younger incarnation of him. But he isn't a child. Old Man has more respect than that.]

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Journal Entry ♦♦♦1

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