Audio Broadcast | December 1st

[lonelysmiles]

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen! Thank you for tuning in to 666 AM with me, your host and local Radio Demon, Alastor!

Now, I know what you're thinking: "Alastor! It isn't Saturday yet! You're spoiling us!"

Indeed I am, dear listeners, for I was approached by a very lovely lady who wanted to help get us all in the winter holiday spirit regardless of what specific winter holiday you in particular celebrate! I was so touched by her offer and enthusiasm that I saw no reason to deny her!

With all that out of the lady, do sit back and enjoy the performance of a lady who requires no introduction as she serenades us all!

[The music starts with thirteen tinkling bells. Then a very familiar woman begins singing, and anybody who has been around Reverein long enough realizes just who Alastor is allowing to perform on his station:]

[It's the Siren. She's back again for another year!]

Comments

[lonelysmiles]

[Who said he was? Rude!]

Probably? Well, let's run a little thought experiment, shall we?

[You like experiments, right, nerd? No, he hasn't been sitting on this, ready for someone like you.]

The Siren's song is four minutes and one second long. At sixty seconds per minute, that's 241 seconds total. Multiply that by a thousand, that's 241,000 seconds total listening time before the madness sets in. That's 4,016.66-repeating minutes total. Break that down into hours with sixty minutes per hour, we're up to 66.94-repeating hours. Twenty-four hours in a day, that's 2.78 with a bunch of other nonsense days.

The song was playing for months yet you seem to be still in control of your faculties. And she's been singing to these people for years before our arrival!

[multidisciplinary]

[ One could reasonably argue that Zelda, who has been trying repeatedly to swallow a stone in order to transform into a dragon, is not in full control of her faculties. But the one making such an argument would certainly not be the princess, who spent her adolescence living the dictionary definition of "insanity."

Which she will indulge in again, as what else would you consider arguing with Alastor to be but insanity? ]

And does not the idea of 2.78 full days listening to her song fill you with misery? Even spread out across months, the prospect of hearing a single song that many times is maddening. And moreover, it is entirely possible that I heard it far more than one thousand times previously and that my time away from Songerein has blessedly faded the such an unpleasant memory.

And furthermore, I am certain you will remember as well that there were no people dwelling here when we arrived! Perhaps the siren is the answer to the great mystery of why Reverein lay abandoned when we awoke here—its residents were driven to madness by her song.

[lonelysmiles]

A possibility I suppose, but not necessarily the correct one.

Also you're asking someone who experienced a full 365 days of the same song playing over and over again nonstop being broadcast directly into his already-questionable brain with no means of shutting it off or drowning it out. And then it was played regularly but increasingly less over the next 365 days. Almost a full two years of the same song with no hope of reprieve.

By comparison, 2.78 full days of such madness would have been a blessing.

[He pauses for a moment to let that sink in.]

Regardless, I made a deal with the Siren since she kept trying to get onto other programs at the station: I would freely broadcast her singing her song once per year in return for her leaving the rest of the radio station alone for the rest of that winter season. Any additional performances on the radio would only be if she was invited by the person running a particular frequency.

[multidisciplinary]

[ On the one hand, that sounds completely outlandish, that a single song would be played over and over again for a full 365 days straight. He must be exaggerating for effect. But on the other hand, Zelda can mathematically comprehend the concept of listening to the same song for 365 days—8,760 hours—525,600 minutes without end. If there's a shred of truth to Alastor's words (and there often is, at least, a shred), then it's no wonder he is the way he is.

So it is, after a moment, that Zelda reads the rest of his response. That pause effectively took the wind out of her sails to continue her argument. ]

Only once this year? So I am safe to assume I shall not wake to her song on your next broadcast as well?

[ Because she trusts Alastor, but only to an extent in situations like this... ]

[lonelysmiles]

[With the radio comes the possibility of people enjoying a particular song to the point where radio stations will play it ad nauseum as the crowd cheers.]

[That isn't to say that Alastor's current mental state was caused by such things, but it certainly didn't help.]

Indeed! And unless one of the other channels invites her onto their frequency, you'll not hear her for the rest of the year on the radio at all. You'll merely have to dread that one performance next winter.

She's not a monster, my dear. She's a performer who loves the winter season and wants to get others into the spirit of it. Unfortunately she only seems to know the one song or at least it's such a favorite of hers that she doesn't want to sing another. A shame given how lovely her voice is. She wanted to perform on the radio for everyone so I worked out a compromise that would give her the chance to do so without it creating an endless loop for the whole season. When making deals -- or, in your case when you become queen, treaties -- sometimes you need to give a little to get what you truly want.

[multidisciplinary]

[ Well now you're making her feel really guilty for getting upset about the Siren. Thanks a lot, Alastor. Zelda stares pensively at her notebook, worrying over just how much she may have misunderstood the Siren. ]

Perhaps I was too harsh. Her voice is quite beautiful. [ A pause as Zelda catches herself before remorse swings her too far in the opposite direction. ] Perhaps she might also consider expanding her repertoire.

[ But that's not where she's going to leave this. "When you become queen" did not go unnoticed. ] That is your honest counsel on treaty craft? Balance between both parties?

[ Because Zelda distinctly recalls Alastor warning her that the deals he makes are never truly equal. ]

[lonelysmiles]

[At least you're finding out this sort of thing now rather than making the mistake and your subjects paying for it?]

Oh, no doubt! I tried to advise her to expand her horizons but I'm afraid she might not have taken it to heart.

[Casual shrug on his end.]

[Also, Zelda, Alastor warned you about making deals with your soul. That offering to trade it was begging for trouble. Entirely different, sweetheart.]

When possible, yes. Many a war ended before it ever began when the would-be fighting sides came to an amiable agreement between themselves. Now if that treaty is written up after such a conflict, I honestly don't know what the best practice would be. After all, to the victor go the spoils. Working out an amiable agreement could be gifting mercy to the vanquished but it's on a case-by-case basis of whether it should be offered in the first place. While my country didn't ratify it and instead chose to write a separate treaty following The Great War, the Treaty of Versailles has always been debated on whether or not it was too harsh or too lenient on Germany for what they did during the war.