໒꒱ 002 journal text

[lemoncandy]

Sender: Anonymous
To: Everyone
Subject: "Before" vs "now"

What do you do if you don't know where "home" is? If no one wants you, and you're stuck here anyway...

I've been thinking about the people I've left behind and keep wondering if I even want to go back. If they'd even really want me back.

I've never really belonged anywhere, and this place isn't all that different, but... at least there's someone who seems to care. But I thought that before, too.

I don't know what to think. I don't know why I'm even writing this.

Comments

Sender: Futaba Sakura

[mwehehe]

If you have at least one person who cares here, that's better than an unhappy place to be, right?

You don't have to go back to somewhere you don't want to if you don't want to, either. Where would you be happiest?

[She has... some unfortunate knowledge of being in a place where she was unwanted.]

[lemoncandy]

I don't know. Things are complicated in both places for different reasons. I feel like there's still things I need to take care of where I came from...

But I also think it's going to make it hard to live there. I can't know for sure, though...

[mwehehe]

I think one of the places here you can look in on your world if you have the dream bauble thingie... would that help to know if things are okay in your own world for now? I dunno if you can just... wake up, do your thing, and then come back if you'd rather be here. Wonder if the wolf guy's idea would extend to that instead of just staying here indefinitely.

[lemoncandy]

I've got a handful of those things and I've never used a single one of them. Is that stupid? I guess I'm a little afraid...

Afraid that things wouldn't be okay, or that they'd be perfectly okay. It feels like a bad thing either way.

I think I'm just selfish.