໒꒱ 002 journal text

[lemoncandy]

Sender: Anonymous
To: Everyone
Subject: "Before" vs "now"

What do you do if you don't know where "home" is? If no one wants you, and you're stuck here anyway...

I've been thinking about the people I've left behind and keep wondering if I even want to go back. If they'd even really want me back.

I've never really belonged anywhere, and this place isn't all that different, but... at least there's someone who seems to care. But I thought that before, too.

I don't know what to think. I don't know why I'm even writing this.

Comments

sender: sephiroth

[sefirot]

Why does having a "home" matter? Exist for yourself, everything else is irrelevant.

[lemoncandy]

I have been existing for myself.

But it gets lonely. What's the point in existing for myself if there's nothing to exist for? I shouldn't even exist in the first place.

[sefirot]

Why shouldn't you exist?

[lemoncandy]

I was created from two beings that shouldn't be able to make offspring together. Normally, they take a piece of themselves and can make their own kind...

But somehow I'm two different things together.

[sefirot]

I see. Created by whom?

[lemoncandy]

My parents? I've never met them. Usually when... one of those kinds of beings wants to make offspring, they can take a piece of themselves and use it to create one. Like a wing.

[sefirot]

I've have created beings from parts of my own essence but I would not consider them offspring.