the poppies blow;

[notachickenhawk]

Sender: Anonymous
To: Everyone
Subject: War

I know this is a difficult subject for some so please move along if it is for you. But for those of you who have been in wars or battles (formal or not) - how do you deal with it after?

At least from my perspective it's not over yet, but... I don't have to fight here. I don't have to be afraid for the lives of myself or those around me. But the blood is still on my hands. The battles I fought still took their toll. Nothing seems to help. I've heard 'time will help' but that doesn't do anything for me now, when I need help.

I don't normally ask for help, but I'm at a loss here.

Comments

Sender: Kratos

[flamberge]

How one deals with the after is something that differs from person to person. Time helping make things easier, for example, isn't something likely to help those inexperienced with combat and war.

What helped me when I started as a solider, from what I recall, is reminding myself of why I fought and allowing that purpose to push me forward. So I'll that question to you: why is it that you fight?

[notachickenhawk]

Nor those who were thrust into it without any training or warning.

... To keep humanity free. To keep the people I care about safe. And to keep the people that they care about safe. Most of my family... they don't care about me. They're probably glad that I disappeared without a trace. But the people I care about have families that care about them, and those are people worth fighting for.

[flamberge]

Then let that desire to protect those people be at the forefront of your mind. Whenever you are stuck in the 'after' as you put it, remind yourself that this is for their sake. The fighting and the blood on your hands isn't meaningless; it's there as a result of ensuring those precious to you and those precious to them remain safe.

[notachickenhawk]

I know that's true, I know that it had to mean something. And I know that it will be worth it when they're free.

But it's just... how do you keep going when you know you're going to lose the person you care about most in the end?

[flamberge]

That's a significantly harder question to answer.

Before I do give you a response, would you be able to clarify a little with what you mean by losing them?

[is this someone destined to die or is it a matter of simply not being together after the fighting ends? it's a vastly different answer depending.]

[notachickenhawk]

[That's... fair. It just hurts to write.]

She told me she showed up here as she died.

[flamberge]

My condolences.

[and he sincerely means that.]

First and foremost, allow yourself to feel the feelings that you do about this. Losing a person you care for as a result of battle is never easy. However, do not allow those feelings to consume you and drive your actions. Remember all that the two of you have worked for, remember what all the sacrifices were for, and remember that you remain and can do what your companion no longer can.

[notachickenhawk]

It hurts. I mean, obviously it does, but she didn't deserve that. She deserved to live. She has family, a lot of family, that cares about her.

[He's got Ax and apparently his mother's alive, but other than them...]

We all knew it might come down to that. ... I just can't believe it actually did.