Eustace (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
flamekthunder) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
dreamcrystals2022-07-21 08:50 pm
flamekthunder) wrote in dreamcrystals2022-07-21 08:50 pm
Entry tags:
fifth entry ⊗ first dream: only in a dream
Sender: Eustace
To: Everyone
Subject: Passive Dream Recording
Warnings: Death makes for a sad ending to an otherwise happy dream (no violent acts but there is a lot of heavy grief)
Notes: A dream depicting glimpses of a lone wolf at various stages of his life and eventually forming his own family until...
[It's there that the dream will cut off as Eustace jolts awake.
Note: there will be some delay before Eustace responds but he'll at least be of...somewhat calm mind if a bit more reticent and giving shorter, curt answers. ]
To: Everyone
Subject: Passive Dream Recording
Warnings: Death makes for a sad ending to an otherwise happy dream (no violent acts but there is a lot of heavy grief)
Notes: A dream depicting glimpses of a lone wolf at various stages of his life and eventually forming his own family until...
It begins with a vast snowy white landscape, so empty and barren save for a few bundles of trees that appear here and there. Atop a barren cliff lays a lone silver gray wolf, its right eye slightly scarred at its brow as if it had been burned, but it's subtle, just barely noticeable under the tufts of fur. As the wolf slowly opens its eyes, the right eye is a little duller compared to the bright blue of the left. But it can see just as well and it tracks the sudden movement below—of other wolves crossing the snowy plains, a few of them playing around and running freely with each other. 
It seems warmer down there, welcoming...yet the lone wolf remains at his perch, turning his head away as ice forms around him.
Time passes and what was once a barren snowscape has changed, pockets of grass and more trees poking through the snow. The wolf is now on the ground watching the others play around, but while he keeps his distance every so often one approaches to shove its head against his side, as if pushing the wolf to the group. The wolf grumbles, pinning his ears and baring his fangs...but he never attacks. Instead two smaller ones appear, one with blue tinted fur and another and orange red, and it's with their help that the lone wolf moves and is brought into the fold. There other wolves run out to greet him, each with their own distinct markings. The lone wolf still doesn't really participate, but he stays within the group, watching...and slowly his tail sways from one side to the other.
Like stop motion the trees grow, the grass spreads, and the number of wolves grow. The once lone wolf still doesn't really participate with their antics, but he appears calmer and more relaxed. He mostly stays on the edge, but he wanders through to be with the others, even letting the younger ones "tussle" with him. The cliff he once inhabited has turned into a mossy green and he hasn't returned to it in a long while. But when he looks out, there's a new wolf beyond the pack—black, female, with deep red eyes. He's wary at first, but she's welcomed into the fold like everyone else who has come through. When she passes by him, his eyes follow her, the scent of flowers lingering.
Once more time passes and the scenes pass quickly, all focused on the black wolf. Of her bothering the gray wolf and sticking to his side. Of her crying and he comforting her. Of him chasing and cornering her. Of quiet moments of them together. With each one, more snow disappears and the feeling of spring grows with the warm atmosphere, and his voice whispers in the breeze as each snapshot passes through.
The two wolves race through the snow, a black and silver blur leaving flowers in their wake.
Around their necks are matching necklaces: a metal dog tag and glowing charm, the moon on the black wolf and a star on the gray. They continue into the forest of trees, through a flower field bursting with colors—the sunlight dancing over them as petals swirl around them as the two wolves continue to frolic and play with each other, the remaining ice that had once surrounded the gray wolf completely melted away. Eventually they stop to rest against each other, and as he looks over at his mate, his blue eyes shine in a way they never have before. Soft, gentle, completely in love. Slowly they close, wrapped up in that beautiful bliss...
...And when they open, he finds himself staring at two small pairs of eyes, one red, one blue, their coats a darker gray. The pups' tails wag eagerly in the air as they bark.
At first he's confused—
Who's dad?? But he hears the soft laugh and as he's shoved over onto the side by the pups, he looks over to see the black wolf sitting nearby with a smile, her red eyes shining in delight.
Understanding crashes into him like a tidal wave, and while something in the back of his mind tries to warn him, there's a burst of light, the ground overflowing with flowers as he laughs and plays with the pups. His pups.
His family.
Things go by in a blur. Spending lazy days together, meeting and venturing with the original pack. It seems as if it all could end peacefully like this. ...But then there's a low rumble overhead, dark shadows overtaking the once sunny area. As lightning cracks high overhead as if to shatter the once picturesque sky, the pups whine and hide beneath his legs. It's just a storm and yet there's a chill in the air that causes every single hair to stand on end. One that makes them run, run before the darkness engulfs them, run to their home where they would be safe. But—
—the thought blares through his mind as they dash into the cave and everything goes dark.
Rain falls. It beats on the gray wolf who sits with his head hung low, his once vibrant blue eyes dull and lifeless, tears now ice frozen on his fur. In fact there's no color at all—it's all white, gray, and black. In front of him is the black wolf lying on her side, eyes closed. A dark pool spreads beneath her lifeless body, flecks of red breaking through the monochrome. Her necklace lies in shattered pieces, the beautiful glowing moon crushed, dull. Beside him the pups whine and try to move him, but he doesn't budge. He can't. The weight of loss chains him down—
Slowly he falls forward, his head landing lightly just above hers. As the rain turns to the snow, ice crackles and forms around him. At first he still hears the pups, but when he slowly cranes his neck he can see them fade away, disappearing into the ether. Because they were never real to begin with.
They never can be real, a dark voice whispers as the snow continues to slowly bury him. None of this is.
No longer is he a wolf, but Eustace cradling Tifa's lifeless body as it slowly disappears, the snow and ice almost completely covering him as the voice becomes heavier and more oppressive as it continues.
When you wake up, you will forget it all like you did before. When she wakes up she will leave you for another.
A dream. This is all just a dream.
All it ever will be.
It seems warmer down there, welcoming...yet the lone wolf remains at his perch, turning his head away as ice forms around him.Time passes and what was once a barren snowscape has changed, pockets of grass and more trees poking through the snow. The wolf is now on the ground watching the others play around, but while he keeps his distance every so often one approaches to shove its head against his side, as if pushing the wolf to the group. The wolf grumbles, pinning his ears and baring his fangs...but he never attacks. Instead two smaller ones appear, one with blue tinted fur and another and orange red, and it's with their help that the lone wolf moves and is brought into the fold. There other wolves run out to greet him, each with their own distinct markings. The lone wolf still doesn't really participate, but he stays within the group, watching...and slowly his tail sways from one side to the other.
Like stop motion the trees grow, the grass spreads, and the number of wolves grow. The once lone wolf still doesn't really participate with their antics, but he appears calmer and more relaxed. He mostly stays on the edge, but he wanders through to be with the others, even letting the younger ones "tussle" with him. The cliff he once inhabited has turned into a mossy green and he hasn't returned to it in a long while. But when he looks out, there's a new wolf beyond the pack—black, female, with deep red eyes. He's wary at first, but she's welcomed into the fold like everyone else who has come through. When she passes by him, his eyes follow her, the scent of flowers lingering.
Once more time passes and the scenes pass quickly, all focused on the black wolf. Of her bothering the gray wolf and sticking to his side. Of her crying and he comforting her. Of him chasing and cornering her. Of quiet moments of them together. With each one, more snow disappears and the feeling of spring grows with the warm atmosphere, and his voice whispers in the breeze as each snapshot passes through.
Tifa, you are my partner now, and I want you to be there in my future. I told you before... You are the one I chose to be my partner for life. The one I chose to give my heart and soul to. No one else.
Tifa Lockhart.
The two wolves race through the snow, a black and silver blur leaving flowers in their wake.
Will you marry me?
Around their necks are matching necklaces: a metal dog tag and glowing charm, the moon on the black wolf and a star on the gray. They continue into the forest of trees, through a flower field bursting with colors—the sunlight dancing over them as petals swirl around them as the two wolves continue to frolic and play with each other, the remaining ice that had once surrounded the gray wolf completely melted away. Eventually they stop to rest against each other, and as he looks over at his mate, his blue eyes shine in a way they never have before. Soft, gentle, completely in love. Slowly they close, wrapped up in that beautiful bliss......And when they open, he finds himself staring at two small pairs of eyes, one red, one blue, their coats a darker gray. The pups' tails wag eagerly in the air as they bark.
Dad!
Yay he's awake!
Play with us!
At first he's confused—
Dad?
Who's dad?? But he hears the soft laugh and as he's shoved over onto the side by the pups, he looks over to see the black wolf sitting nearby with a smile, her red eyes shining in delight.
Understanding crashes into him like a tidal wave, and while something in the back of his mind tries to warn him, there's a burst of light, the ground overflowing with flowers as he laughs and plays with the pups. His pups. His family.
Things go by in a blur. Spending lazy days together, meeting and venturing with the original pack. It seems as if it all could end peacefully like this. ...But then there's a low rumble overhead, dark shadows overtaking the once sunny area. As lightning cracks high overhead as if to shatter the once picturesque sky, the pups whine and hide beneath his legs. It's just a storm and yet there's a chill in the air that causes every single hair to stand on end. One that makes them run, run before the darkness engulfs them, run to their home where they would be safe. But—
Where is she?
—the thought blares through his mind as they dash into the cave and everything goes dark.
Rain falls. It beats on the gray wolf who sits with his head hung low, his once vibrant blue eyes dull and lifeless, tears now ice frozen on his fur. In fact there's no color at all—it's all white, gray, and black. In front of him is the black wolf lying on her side, eyes closed. A dark pool spreads beneath her lifeless body, flecks of red breaking through the monochrome. Her necklace lies in shattered pieces, the beautiful glowing moon crushed, dull. Beside him the pups whine and try to move him, but he doesn't budge. He can't. The weight of loss chains him down—
I failed.
I failed to protect her...
I killed her.
Slowly he falls forward, his head landing lightly just above hers. As the rain turns to the snow, ice crackles and forms around him. At first he still hears the pups, but when he slowly cranes his neck he can see them fade away, disappearing into the ether. Because they were never real to begin with.
They never can be real, a dark voice whispers as the snow continues to slowly bury him. None of this is.
No longer is he a wolf, but Eustace cradling Tifa's lifeless body as it slowly disappears, the snow and ice almost completely covering him as the voice becomes heavier and more oppressive as it continues.
When you wake up, you will forget it all like you did before. When she wakes up she will leave you for another.
A dream. This is all just a dream.
All it ever will be.
[It's there that the dream will cut off as Eustace jolts awake.
Note: there will be some delay before Eustace responds but he'll at least be of...somewhat calm mind if a bit more reticent and giving shorter, curt answers. ]
no subject
Yes...
This.
This is what they should have been talking about and bonding over. Not...that hell at the end. It's still a little bittersweet knowing reality, but it's less bitter when the sentiments are shared and they can make do with other ways.
Like adopting more dogs—]
Mm... I wasn't really conscious about it, but there was a warm feeling through it all.
[Good parts, anyway.]
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This... this feels right, and the fact that they can easily fall back into this after all of that is a testament to the strength of their love and the depth of their understanding for one another.]
Wait... [she says with a light gasp after a few more beats of silence.] What do you mean you weren't conscious? How did it all look to you, then?
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I mean I was...aware, but only in the sense of any other dream. It was all through my point of view so even though everyone was a wolf, including myself, it didn't feel strange.
[Hmmmmmm.]
There were some parts that I would feel a little disjointed, like the proposal, but otherwise... It just felt like a normal dream.
[Until the end.]
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[Her arm around him unconsciously tightens.]
Those feelings were real. When I looked at those pups, I felt... I don't know how to explain...
[It felt like they were hers, and that other wolf had been the mate she'd chosen. It was the same things she feels whenever she looks at Eustace or is near him. That warm, fluttery, overwhelmingly happy feeling turned up past even what she knows and is aware of.]
Those parts, they... felt nice.
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...Mm, they did.
[He then looks back out into the early morning sky, the ribbons of bright color slowly becoming more blue.]
I remember when I first saw them I felt confusion...but then... The joy was immeasurable. Not because of their existence, but what it meant.
[His hand finds hers to interlace their fingers, little white star flowers starting to bloom around them.]
...What it meant to have a future with you.
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But as his hand finds hers again, and she feels the warmth slipping between her fingers, she also remembers that she's content—happy with what they have now, and she wouldn't trade this moment, or any moments for anything else.]
Whatever that future is... I want it...
[Is it so selfish to ask for?
She can feel the charm hanging against her chest still and see its light pulsing in the corners of her eyes, and the star flowers that bloom around the rock at their feet, but Tifa keeps them trained on the horizon alongside his.]
You think the world was trying to tell us something?
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Mm...maybe. But does it matter? Even if it's trying to encourage us, we don't have to listen to what it says.
[His head tilts towards hers, resting against it.]
Just what we want.
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Her voice has turned so soft that it's barely a whisper when she speaks.]
... And? What do you want?
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A peaceful, quiet life with you, the dogs, and our friends.
[He could have said just with her... But it really is better with everyone else.
That peace and quiet part may be the most important thing at the moment, however, given everything they've been through. He knows they'll never be without conflict, but at least a week or something come on—]
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[The fact that he doesn't—that he includes the dogs, and the others makes her feel that much warmer as he holds her close. Her chest swells with pride and she looks up at him with adoration glowing bright in her eyes before she leans in and steals the lightest, most delicate kiss from him. There is a bittersweet taste underlining it with Tifa's mind wandering back to the pups and how they called him "dad" when they were urging him to play, but it ripples away the moment their lips touch.
As the tip of her nose nuzzles against his, she grins.]
... So. When are we adopting more puppies, you think?
[Is she joking? She might not be.]
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So at her question, he just laughs and lightly brushes her lips as he answers.]
...Whenever you feel like it. But preferably after marriage. As much as I'd enjoy having a little pup around, I also quite like our time alone.
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[And here she thought he was going to be impatient about it! But it's true: as cute as a puppy would be, and in spite of all the help they would definitely get from the other dogs, a new pup would be quite the handful.
A giggle flutters over his lips as she keeps him close, and when he mentions the marriage, there's a heat that ripples through her, and she sets down her coffee so that she's free to grab the collar of his shirt again. There's a desperation in her fingers and the firm grip she holds him under, that warmth and that happiness seizing her the same way she does him.]
... I wish I could marry you right now. Right here.
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I already said we're already technically married... But if you want a little "rehearsal" I'll oblige.
[And just as he's about to whisper sweet vows.......a thought strikes him and he pulls back.]
...It just occurred to me. There are neither priests or government official to officially ordain a marriage.
no subject
Really?
[Her brows arch up and there's a pause as she runs through the people she knows in her head.]
... Guess I never really thought of it. Maybe we could ask around?
[Is that even something that needs to be done here? Although, given that he's even brought it up, it would seem that it's a tradition in both their worlds, and she'd like to abide by it—make their marriage official in every way, so guess it's time to find an officiant???]
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...We may need to if you'd like for it to be someone we might know. Otherwise I'll ask around town. Surely there is someone here who had done so in their original worlds, particularly the healers who are likely priests. I suppose we are also the first to have a wedding... I don't recall hearing or seeing any at any rate.
[Now his brows raise.]
Do you want to do anything special? Venue? Dress? Reception?
[Look they only kind of touched on this in a dreamy what if, and he would rather a small ceremony that is nice and quiet. But that doesn't change the fact that there is stuff that is involved with this and despite his efforts to escape and the many times he's walked out on such discussions, he's at least heard and is aware of the basics.
More importantly, he knows she's actually thought about this. Whatever she wants, he'll do his best to let her have it. They're in a dream world, dammit, she can have her dream wedding!!]
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And when she had, it had shifted and grown into something that had a part of both of them in it.
The flush in her cheeks becomes more prominent, the pink turning to a deeper red to match her eyes as she skirts them away.]
Mm. I just... want to marry you.
[It doesn't have to be anything special. They could get married right here, alone together in the forest with not a single soul for miles as the sun rises over them and she would be the happiest girl in Reverein. But she knows that that isn't how it's going to go, and there would be a lot of people here who would want to celebrate with them. Aerith would have a fit if she missed out, and her voice ringing in the back of Tifa's head scolding her has her laughing quietly to herself.]
It can be a small wedding. Maybe... somewhere outside town? In a clearing or a place just like this...
[A place that feels magical, but at the same time... peaceful. Serene.]
... Maybe we could have the Wild Harvest make the food. And...
[There's another pause, and she looks around them before she leans over and carefully plucks a star flower from the ground to hold between them. This part, she's actually thought about, and always had a much clearer image of it in her head.]
For the reception, we could have these everywhere, and some little lights at night.
[Not that it'll be a problem for them.]
no subject
So you'd like it to be held in the late afternoon, early evening? [Definitely doable.]
And the time...? Next month? A little farther out?
no subject
Something like that, yeah.
[And she imagines it would go late into the night, until the two of them snuck away from the festivities, whatever they may be. Dancing and mingling and eating...
But at his next question, Tifa hesitates with thought again, and this time... This time she really looks at him. Her gaze lingers on his eyes, and then his ears, his hair, and back down to his lips...
The time doesn't truly matter to her. It could be tomorrow, or next week. Hell, Tifa wishes it could be right now, but as she runs through her thoughts, something strikes her.]
... How about in the winter? After it's snowed?
no subject
Winter?
[It's...what, the seventh month now?] The first snow...when was it last year, during the eleventh or twelfth month?
[Ah, wait, isn't his birthday on the last day of the year? So definitely can't have it that late. Also that Christmas holiday thing, too, right? Could also do it on the first month of the year but that just seems so far away...]
It's fine, but...why wait for the snow?
[Did she want a special winter snow theme? Especially if it's outside...well it's not too difficult to regulate temperatures in this world, especially with how warm it'll undoubtedly be. ...Would it actually turn into spring during their wedding—]
no subject
Her fingers thread through his hair to comb it back away from his face as she admires him—his white hair, and the seas of blue in his eyes that she always seems to drown in... She huffs a laugh at how silly it sounds when she repeats the words over in her head, but if he really wants to know—]
The snow reminds me of you.
[And of simpler days.]
no subject
Me?
[...It's true his roots are in snow and winter, and he still prefers it over this summer heat. His hair is white... This isn't some reflection of his (albeit nowadays less) icy personality is it—]
no subject
Yes, you.
[Tifa's face flushes with a colour that's deep and obvious enough that he can likely see it through the dimmer lights.]
Snowfalls are... calm. Quiet... Soft. [She begins carefully.] I could watch them all day back in Nibelheim when I was growing up. The first snowfalls were always my favourite... But then there were the days when it stormed, and the snow would bat at the windows. It would remind me of how strong and resilient it was. Even dangerous, sometimes.
[Her thumb rolls lightly over his cheek.]
But in the end... no matter how cold the snow is, if you're brave enough to reach out and touch it, it just... melts away.
no subject
You and I are like the winter seasons. We're colder natured, more closed off. We can survive and do what we need to do so, and we will allow those we want in when want them. We can still feel warmth and can go along "fine" and be content with what we have without wanting more because do not "need" it.
However, when I met Tifa, I could feel all the walls I had built thaw and for the first time I understood what it really meant to open up and love someone. She became my spring and took me with her.
Just as she thinks of him with snow, he's reminded of her whenever he feels the warm sun, the fresh flowers, the brilliant lights. A heated strength that can scorch through anything while also providing pleasant comfort. A free spirit if left to run wildly that can be held in check with just enough cooling force, but it can also be fleeting and extinguished if burdened too much.
Really...they truly are quite balanced with how they are, and he leans into her touch, eyes soft as freshly fallen snow.]
If you think of me like snow... Then it's only fitting that you are like the sun to do exactly that.
no subject
So, when he compares her to the sun, she can't help but laugh a little. It's a soft, happy, tender sound that glides out on a breath as she drops her forehead to meet his.]
I guess we really are perfect for each other.
[Not that there was any question in her mind about it, but there are always moments like this that remind her that it's true.]
... So, winter it is then?
no subject
[A quiet smile that accompanies his soft quiet hum.]
That would make it... The last month. December. Better to make it early, before all the holiday mess later on.
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🎀