Mission 1

[strawberryredgrave]

Sender: Dante Sparda
To: Everyone
Subject: Introductions

Can't say I mind this new locale very much. Would mind it a lot less if I didn't get separated from my brother, but if this place really is some extra elaborate dream thing, then he'll be fine.

So while I wonder if my nephew smacked me hard enough to send me here, I should make myself known. The name's Dante, the founder of Devil May Cry. We're guns (and swords) for hire who specialize in the supernatural and lemme tell you, we've seen a lot of weird stuff. Ancient portals to Hell reopening, cults using demonic power to pose as gods, blood sucking demon trees, we've handled them all. I ain't suggesting this is all demonic powers at play here, but it wouldn't surprise me.

"But Dante, you handsome devil" you're probably saying, "there's probably a few demons here already that are pretty cool. You're gonna offend them with this." And maybe I would, if I left it there. I've taken enough cases to know that not only are there good demons just getting by, but also bad people - human, demon or otherwise - manipulating who and whatever they can to get their way. Those are the people we kill. Like a Lady friend of mine once said: even a devil may cry when they lose a loved one.

I was just about ready to go into sort of retirement, but given the circumstances, I got at least one more job to do. Wanna collaborate? Chances are it won't be my weirdest.

Comments

Sender: Mammon

[stupidmammon]

"But Dante, I'm sooooo offended you'd talk about' offin' me like that hooooww could yooouuu??"

[ Sorry, Dante's intro made him laugh so he decided to join in. ]

Sender: Loki of Asgard

[whose_son_am_i]

I do find it interesting how you assume manipulation is always 'bad'. I would hope, given your experience stated here, that it's more nuanced than that.

sender: della duck

[sos_pilot]

collab??? you mean like work together to bring down baddies and solving supernatural mysteries?

COUNT ME IN

that stuff is my bread and butter! what you described is pretty much my basic Tuesday back home!

Sender: Beatrix

[roseofmay]

[This guy has got to be kidding. What is this rubbish. She doesn't have to reply, but evidently she's going to anyway.]

If you were hit hard enough to be sent here then you likely deserve to be here.

Sender: Zhao

[seemagicshit]

Like that's an actual occupation you can have? Stabbing the shit out of demons?

So question: you ever fight anything out of Ijincho in Yokohama?

[Now this guy, this guy knew how to set a scene and be like "here I am, bitches, deal with it."]

Sender: Isabela

[senorita_perfecta]

So you look into the supernatural and fight demons as your job back at home? Very fascinating line of work, Señor Dante.

Sender: Toge Inumaki

[fishflakes]

[This is all fine and dandy for a demon-hunting advertisement, and Toge is interested, really. But he just sort of zeroes in on one thing...]

If someone knocked you out hard enough to send you here, I don't know whether to see that as funny or just sad.

Sender: Amy Rose

[pricklybloom]

Supernatural, huh? Sounds kind of fun. I'd be willing to help out.

Sender: Moxxie

[imp_resario]

[The demon thing isn't the eyebrow-raising part, here.]

Hold on a moment. You're a contract killer but you actually vet your targets?

sender: link

[skyglider]

Ah. I've never met a talking gun.

[Link... don't be an idiot]

sender: Kor

[spirialink]

so you're in the business of fighting bad guys?

Sender: Xiao

[whirlwindthrust]

I am wondering why any of this is relevant. Your profession matters little, considering what has transpired within the various dreamscapes of this realm.

Sender: Mikaela Hyakuya

[cravingdesires]

Sounds like you've seen a lot. If there are demons in your world, then are there angels, as well?

Sender: Diluc

[disdelusioned]

[Diluc is largely unimpressed with the man's demeanor, but there is something that he quite appreciates: the acknowledgement that human beings can be the worst monsters of all. That alone is what compels him to reply.]

Diluc Ragnvindr.

If I require consultation on the supernatural, I'll let you know.

Sender: Kainé

[shithogs]

[Well, well. She likes this guy's style.]

Always happy to throw my own blades into the mix if there's something that needs taking down. We see all kinds here. You're gonna love getting to sink your claws— or whatever— into a noctare or two. Or noctasers. They're both frequent problems around here, anyway.

Shit, I had no idea there were people who did the same crap I do but professionally. People pay you for all that?

Ancient Portals to Hell he says?

[666_hellhound_aesthetic]

hey

any of those portals to hell around here you know about?

...

also totally not me who made any of those ones... just for record

learned to close mines after Blitzø had the jockstrap incident... thought they brought a fucking cat back with them or some shit

anyhwo? besides me wishing i could send memes through these things to have someoone point and say 'he said the thing'? totally pictured Mox every time you said about devils crying

good luck on the hired swordgun front.... know from experience what kind of shitshow that is... you ever had any nightmare customers to deal with too?

like horrible little twerps not the horses

like two fucking weeks later

[herewardbound]

I am late to this party, but as it stands I need something to do and I'm sick of living in a treehouse with nothing but the bare necessities in it.

And apparently you're hiring people with my skillset. Should I prepare a resumé with references or would you prefer I just show up and break shit?