dreamcrystals | 1st Wish

[It is still a fairly new thing for him, though with her it's always been both a little easier and harder. The urge to thank her comes quicker but the words themselves are more difficult to form. He wonders why that is.]

Of course! I'll always support you, Hiyori! I might even waive the five-yen fee just for you~

[ "might" ]

what a charitable god.

[ advice, huh...? ]

I do have a question, actually.

what does it mean when being around a particular person makes any place feel like home?

[Can she hear his snickering over that first bit? She probably can since he's just on the roof of their treehouse. Directly over her bedroom.

That second bit has him going silent, though, as he ponders the question himself. It actually takes him some minutes and she might hear the creak of roof tiles from him shifting.]

That's a good question. It could mean that they represent familiarity. That might not always be a good thing depending on the circumstances. But it could also mean you've found someone special. Someone who represents what family is to you. ~~Or it could be~~

[That last part is hastily scratched out. He doesn't know yet how to erase his mistakes.]

[ WHAT IS HE DOING UP THERE SHE'S GETTING READY TO GO TO THE LIBRARY

another insightful answer from yato, though. just like when she asked about her future. ]

like yukine-kun is special to you?

[ she does, of course, notice the scratched out part. ]

why did you scratch out that last part? what else could it be?

[Just keeping an eye out! The town may be peaceful now, but one never knows when some monster or something might wander in.

He's hopeful that his answer is of some help at least.]

Exactly. I think I could find anywhere to be home with him by my side.

[What he doesn't say is that he feels the same way with her here.]

[Damn. He was hoping that maybe scratching it out would make it not show up or something.]

Dunno. I ran out of ideas.

[Lies. He just doesn't want to put his other thought into words.]

[ TAIL WAG AS SHE READS THIS FIRST PART. hehehe, she knew it. ]

[ not the next part. ]

really? [ dubious energy is back. ] okay.

your input helped, yato. thank you. I didn't think about it representing familiarity. that makes sense.

an anonymous person was asking everyone about how they can recognize

[ nothing else is written for a long time. he may hear frantic pen tapping below. ]

love.

[ WRITTEN SHAKILY. ]

and when I asked how they felt about someone they may or may not love, that's what they said.

about how they felt.

No problem. You're always welcome to come to me with questions.

[He likes being able to help in ways that isn't just swinging a sword around. Especially when the one in need of advice is Hiyori.

But oh. So it is about love. Which is what he'd been thinking about writing down but couldn't bring himself to put into words.]

That

is another meaning behind finding someone to feel like home, yeah. I think.

[He's only experienced something similar once before ages ago, and again here with Hiyori herself. He'd be lying in his heart if he were to say he didn't feel that level of comfortable familiarity in her presence. With a slightly shaking pen he writes down a question of his own.]

What does it mean to you?

I will! that's two times now you've answered me seriously.

[ and so it is. ]

I thought so, too, but it didn't feel right telling someone else I didn't know that's how they feel. I think it's more important to figure something like that on your own, right?

[ SPEAKING OF. ]

the home thing?

or the recognizing thing?

[He wants to protest that he always answers her seriously, but upon consideration he realizes that's often not the case. He's so flippant about a lot of things, when the subject gets too close or just in general when he's screwing around. In hindsight he can't blame her for not considering him a trustworthy source sooner.]

Yeah, the best you can do for someone searching for answers is to give them suggestions of what you've experienced without trying to imply it's the only solution.

[He fidgets again, shifting around on the roof before answering.]

Both?

I'd be interested in hearing your answers for each.

If you don't mind sharing them.

[ on the bright side? he's since proven otherwise recently. once again, too, because there's another good piece of advice! yato's just full of it (in a good way) today. ]

I'm glad. I hope I helped Anon-san, though. I can't imagine how troubling it is to not know whether you love someone or not.

[ BOTH. AGAIN! he did... give some solid advice. mercifully, hiyori can hide her reddening face behind this journal. ]

for the home thing, let me think.

okay, I think it means you want to be with them. at least, if I considered someone to be like home, it's like what you said about familiarity. you're comfortable with that person and you feel safe with them.

[ yes, she is pointedly STALLING to answer the second. ]

I'm sure you were a help to them. You have a good head on your shoulders and approach things with understanding.

[It's not just empty praise. He genuinely means that Hiyori is someone who's good for seeking advice from.

He hums thoughtfully at her first answer, quill tapping against the journal and leaving little dots of ink.]

That makes sense - the feeling safe bit. I think that's where my answer differed most. Because of the way dad treated us. It wasn't always a safe feeling "home" provided.

[He doesn't know why he's going on about that time, offering up more than he normally would. Maybe because this is like writing in a journal, yet he knows the words are going to Hiyori, who out of everyone is most likely to understand. To distract from his own vulnerable answer, he continues:]

And the other?

[ d-does yato seriously think that about her? she wants to ask, but she can't. the quill won't move on her journal. shouldn't she at least thank him? can't do that much, either. what a useless hand.

mention of yato's "father" makes her tail curl as if cringing away from the idea of that guy, but it is rare for yato to go into his past. by any measure. that yato considers that even a little bit of "home" hurts her. ]

that wasn't home, Yato. I'm sure of at least that much. home is like

when we're all sitting at the table, eating whatever Daikoku-san has made and talking about anything and everything.

[ aaaaaah, crap. he asked.

there's no answer for a minute.

five minutes.

going on ten now. if yato can't resist peeking through the window, hiyori is just staring at her journal with a complicated expression on her face. half her face is buried in her palm but her cheeks have taken on a flush. finally, written in rush, ]

it depends.

[How silly. He wouldn't have written it if he didn't think it was true. He has so much respect for her, for how mature she is in the face of the craziness that is her life when she should just be a normal teenager.

Maybe that's why he feels he can trust her with details about his early life. Days when he still acted in the name of Yaboku. It takes him a while to respond to her sensible message.]

Yeah. You might be right. Although for the longest time I did think that was home, I can't imagine wanting to go back there now. Not ever again.

[In the time it takes for her to respond, he gets lost in thought, yet eventually does haul himself over to the edge of the roof to hang upside down and peer in to make sure she's okay. Seeing that she is indeed fine and still awake makes him frown, but her expression says all. Carefully, he climbs back up to wait. And when she does reply, it's disappointing.]

On what?

[ IT'S JUST A SURPRISE. he hasn't said anything like that to her before...

or opened up this much about his past. ]

don't go back. you've come so far. you chose Yukine-kun as your guidepost. let him guide you. [ he's not here. UM. oh!! got it. ]

just ask yourself: what would Yukine-kun do? [ yato's new journal name "wwyd". ]

or if you're exceptionally unsure, you can always talk to me. it'll be like we're trading advice, right? I'll do my best to help you find a solution and guide you in Yukine-kun's place. I'm no hafuri, but we can put our heads together!

[ this reminds her of her life at high school. after yato took over her high school debut, people often came to her to vent or ask for advice. ]

[ there's no getting out of this one, hiyori. at least she answers a bit more promptly this time. ]

on what kind of love it is, I guess.

love for my family is easy to recognize. I've felt it all my life with mother, father, onii-chan, and grandmother.

love for my friends is easy, too. that's not too different from the love I feel for my family.

but any other type, I'm not as sure.

[ four-cheese buns, an umbrella, and a trash bin come to mind but she quickly disregards it. just like any other time. that's crazy. ]

[Maybe this dream world has loosened his tongue a bit more than usual. Though at the mention of Yukine his heart clenches a bit in longing. He can't help feeling a sense of loss without his shinki by his side, or even just somewhere where he can call his name.]

Yeah, that's not a bad idea. Trouble is I'm never sure what he would do. So I'll probably be consulting you a lot in the meantime, if that's alright.

[She's human, after all. Both her and Yukine might have similar ideas on how to tackle matters that he would otherwise struggle with.

As for the question of love...]

So it's not so easy for humans to distinguish either, huh? I'd been wondering if perhaps it was because I'm a god that my ability to recognize my own feelings was inhibited.

[There's another long pause before he puts quill to paper again, where it sits so long that an ink blot appears and he has to move over to write on a clean piece of paper.]

So you've never been IN love before?

[ dreams tend to make her blurt out things she wouldn't say normally, too. that might be it.

yukine is sorely missed by them both. so too is daikoku and kofuku. ami and yama. mother and father and masaomi but she's been missing him for a while. ]

that's more than alright, yato. you can consider me your temporary, pseudo-guidepost? unless yukine-kun shows up.

[ answered quickly. effortlessly. hiyori doesn't pause to think about it at all.

however, she has to reread about yato's struggles a couple of times. ]

I don't know. probably not. it's just because I've never liked anyone in that way. maybe I would know if it happened.

[ deny, deny, deny. ]

I never got the impression you struggled with your feelings, though.

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