Mission 1

[strawberryredgrave]

Sender: Dante Sparda
To: Everyone
Subject: Introductions

Can't say I mind this new locale very much. Would mind it a lot less if I didn't get separated from my brother, but if this place really is some extra elaborate dream thing, then he'll be fine.

So while I wonder if my nephew smacked me hard enough to send me here, I should make myself known. The name's Dante, the founder of Devil May Cry. We're guns (and swords) for hire who specialize in the supernatural and lemme tell you, we've seen a lot of weird stuff. Ancient portals to Hell reopening, cults using demonic power to pose as gods, blood sucking demon trees, we've handled them all. I ain't suggesting this is all demonic powers at play here, but it wouldn't surprise me.

"But Dante, you handsome devil" you're probably saying, "there's probably a few demons here already that are pretty cool. You're gonna offend them with this." And maybe I would, if I left it there. I've taken enough cases to know that not only are there good demons just getting by, but also bad people - human, demon or otherwise - manipulating who and whatever they can to get their way. Those are the people we kill. Like a Lady friend of mine once said: even a devil may cry when they lose a loved one.

I was just about ready to go into sort of retirement, but given the circumstances, I got at least one more job to do. Wanna collaborate? Chances are it won't be my weirdest.

Comments

Sender: Mammon

[stupidmammon]

"But Dante, I'm sooooo offended you'd talk about' offin' me like that hooooww could yooouuu??"

[ Sorry, Dante's intro made him laugh so he decided to join in. ]

[strawberryredgrave]

Not to worry, my interestingly named friend! We at Devil May Cry pride ourselves in working towards the root of every problem presented before us. Rather than simply taking money and killing who we're told to kill, we make sure we know what we're getting into. One or two clients before thought to bamboozle us with a version of the truth, only to learn that they themselves were the real problem. We may be mercenaries, but we lean closer towards aggressive private investigators than cleaners.

Sender: Loki of Asgard

[whose_son_am_i]

I do find it interesting how you assume manipulation is always 'bad'. I would hope, given your experience stated here, that it's more nuanced than that.

[strawberryredgrave]

Manipulating items, maybe not. Manipulating living things? Especially anyone who can think, has a soul? That's where things get way more complicated. Negative connotations, you know?

Plus, what I've seen in manipulating people usually leads to innocents getting killed along the way.

sender: della duck

[sos_pilot]

collab??? you mean like work together to bring down baddies and solving supernatural mysteries?

COUNT ME IN

that stuff is my bread and butter! what you described is pretty much my basic Tuesday back home!

[strawberryredgrave]

I like your spirit! We gotta keep that fire burning strong.

Honestly, there's a chance my experiences might not be too relevant to what goes on around here. Too early to say. New perspectives, new experiences, sounds like a better way to dive into the unknown.

More fun, too.

Sender: Beatrix

[roseofmay]

[This guy has got to be kidding. What is this rubbish. She doesn't have to reply, but evidently she's going to anyway.]

If you were hit hard enough to be sent here then you likely deserve to be here.

[strawberryredgrave]

I'll admit: in the heat of the moment, I said something to my nephew that I didn't think would hit him so hard. Long story. It's only fair he'd eventually hit me just as hard.

That was a bit before the last thing I remember before waking up to a dream world, but between you and me? Him punching me to this world makes for a funnier story.

Sender: Zhao

[seemagicshit]

Like that's an actual occupation you can have? Stabbing the shit out of demons?

So question: you ever fight anything out of Ijincho in Yokohama?

[Now this guy, this guy knew how to set a scene and be like "here I am, bitches, deal with it."]

[strawberryredgrave]

Not just demons. Sometimes it's people in positions of power throwing everyone under the bus for personal gain. Usually demonic power. Lemme tell you, they can sink really low.

Can't say that I've been that far overseas, but gimme an excuse to take a trip and see what kind of work's over there.

Sender: Isabela

[senorita_perfecta]

So you look into the supernatural and fight demons as your job back at home? Very fascinating line of work, Señor Dante.

[strawberryredgrave]

It never gets dull, that's for sure. It's let me travel, lets me do something I'm good at, and let me make the friends I have now. I won't downplay how dangerous it can be, but that danger helped me figure out what's most important and who I can trust completely.

Sender: Toge Inumaki

[fishflakes]

[This is all fine and dandy for a demon-hunting advertisement, and Toge is interested, really. But he just sort of zeroes in on one thing...]

If someone knocked you out hard enough to send you here, I don't know whether to see that as funny or just sad.

[strawberryredgrave]

I'm taking it as something funny. Truth is, I really upset my nephew with something I said. It was an intense moment and I didn't think and I'll own up to that. Eventually, he knocked me on my ass for it.

And I couldn't be more proud of him for it.

It's not the last thing I remember before showing up here, but it's a good conversation starter.

Sender: Amy Rose

[pricklybloom]

Supernatural, huh? Sounds kind of fun. I'd be willing to help out.

[strawberryredgrave]

Sounds good to me. We're gonna need all types to make this work, so not everyone needs to know how to fight.

Course, that can be fixed with a little training.

Sender: Moxxie

[imp_resario]

[The demon thing isn't the eyebrow-raising part, here.]

Hold on a moment. You're a contract killer but you actually vet your targets?

[strawberryredgrave]

I make it a point to do so. You can have plenty of reasons to want someone dead, but I won't agree with all of them.

Not all of our contracts start out as hits, either, so we do some investigating either way.

sender: link

[skyglider]

Ah. I've never met a talking gun.

[Link... don't be an idiot]

[strawberryredgrave]

There's a first time for everything!

Don't worry; I'm good about keeping the safety on.

sender: Kor

[spirialink]

so you're in the business of fighting bad guys?

[strawberryredgrave]

Pretty much. Can't say for sure how many bad guys will show up here, but back home, we took on all kinds.

You interested?

Sender: Xiao

[whirlwindthrust]

I am wondering why any of this is relevant. Your profession matters little, considering what has transpired within the various dreamscapes of this realm.

[strawberryredgrave]

That's the whole point: I don't know how relevant it is. Little too new to know what happened before. If what I'm good at happens to come up, then sweet. If not, then I'll learn some new tricks.

Truth be told, I'd prefer my profession be irrelevant.

Sender: Mikaela Hyakuya

[cravingdesires]

Sounds like you've seen a lot. If there are demons in your world, then are there angels, as well?

[strawberryredgrave]

Yup. Don't usually encounter them, myself, but my last info guy? Heard he works with a lady who deals with them as much as I deal with demons.

Don't know the details about it, but it's because I don't that I can believe it's well handled.

Sender: Diluc

[disdelusioned]

[Diluc is largely unimpressed with the man's demeanor, but there is something that he quite appreciates: the acknowledgement that human beings can be the worst monsters of all. That alone is what compels him to reply.]

Diluc Ragnvindr.

If I require consultation on the supernatural, I'll let you know.

[strawberryredgrave]

Sounds good. Doesn't seem like it'll come up as much around here, but that's fine with me. Let's me work on other things I'm good at. Or find something else to be good at.

Or something I suck at. It happens.

Sender: Kainé

[shithogs]

[Well, well. She likes this guy's style.]

Always happy to throw my own blades into the mix if there's something that needs taking down. We see all kinds here. You're gonna love getting to sink your claws— or whatever— into a noctare or two. Or noctasers. They're both frequent problems around here, anyway.

Shit, I had no idea there were people who did the same crap I do but professionally. People pay you for all that?

[strawberryredgrave]

Yeah they do. Demons are vicious where I'm from; dealing with them's best left to professionals.

They don't come up every day, which kinda sucks, and means we need to do some more regular work now and then. Demons aren't all that public, is why we have a password in place to let us know it's that kind of job.

Ancient Portals to Hell he says?

[666_hellhound_aesthetic]

hey

any of those portals to hell around here you know about?

...

also totally not me who made any of those ones... just for record

learned to close mines after Blitzø had the jockstrap incident... thought they brought a fucking cat back with them or some shit

anyhwo? besides me wishing i could send memes through these things to have someoone point and say 'he said the thing'? totally pictured Mox every time you said about devils crying

good luck on the hired swordgun front.... know from experience what kind of shitshow that is... you ever had any nightmare customers to deal with too?

like horrible little twerps not the horses

Oh yeah. Hell portals older than Loona herself

[strawberryredgrave]

Haven't heard about any open portals yet. Probably best that way; it'd let anyone cross through and this place doesn't want that kind of trouble.

So you know Moxxie? Spoke with him earlier; he and his wife might be joining Devil May Cry while we're all here. Co-workers, sounds like? Could find a spot for you, if going out there's not your speed. We could use someone in the office.

As far as nightmare customers go, there's one in particular that comes to mind. A face in the crowd clued me in on a demon running around in another world that'd turn it on his head if he was left alone. Hired me to go and correct that problem, so I go there and look into it. Meet the target and even scrap with them a few times. Turns out the client lied to me. The target wasn't some fucked up demon causing trouble, but a human teenager who was turned into a demon. That world was going through a lot and turns out, he was pretty important in setting things right.

The client had their own stake in the game, so I figured I'll work with the kid as an apology, plus be there when we go to kick the dude's ass. You wouldn't believe me if I told you who the client was.

like two fucking weeks later

[herewardbound]

I am late to this party, but as it stands I need something to do and I'm sick of living in a treehouse with nothing but the bare necessities in it.

And apparently you're hiring people with my skillset. Should I prepare a resumé with references or would you prefer I just show up and break shit?

[strawberryredgrave]

Show up and break shit. I'll even set up some shit for you to break. Paperwork...we'll figure that out later.

Things are still in the mid-progress phase.

Being able to throw down in a fight definitely helps. Anything else you can do?