[Open] ♡ 9th Dose ♡ Blow Out the Candles

[itsytitsyspider]

Sender: Angel Dust
To: Everyone
Subject: Another Year to be someone's problem.

Comments

[itsytitsyspider]

Oh? Then by all means, correct me if I'm wrong. What other adult activities what you engaged in?

Of course we do. Hell is just a shitter version of the real deal up stairs. It ain't all fire and brimstone. Us sinners are just tryin' to cut out piece of Hell for ourselves to make the most of our afterlife. Some got it better than others.

[book2thehead]

Oh my! That would hardly be appropriate to discuss in a public forum!

Interesting! So really Hell is just a different kind of world within your own world, isn't it?

[itsytitsyspider]

Then I'd be more than happy to take this to a more private setting~♡

Hmm... I guess you can say that. The livin' world don't got a clue we exist. But we know cause we lived it both.

You got an afterlife in your world?

[book2thehead]

Man alive, you are forward! Unfortunately I don't kiss and tell~ ♡

Presumably yes, we do. We certainly have our fair share of ghosts and spirits that cross into the world of the living on occasion... but even then I wouldn't say many of us know much about the afterlife.

[itsytitsyspider]

Who said anything about kissin' and tellin'? I'm a professional 'no kiss n teller'. But your lost kiddo. Don't think you could handle me anyways, Shortcake~ ♡

Hmm... Then there's probably something. But ghost and ghoulies aren't really the same thing as what I am... You got demons?

[book2thehead]

Oh well, what a shame. I suppose I'll just have to come to terms with the disappointment, then!

I suppose that might depend on your definition of "demons".

[itsytitsyspider]

Nah, its probably for the best.

I just saved your life.

I haven't had sex in three months and I'm a horny time bomb. Next poor fool who crawls into my web is going to have their hips snapped in half. This ride aint for newbies.

I don't know... Things that ain't human? Like freakish eight foot tall, yet devilishly sexy, multiple limb spider for a completely random example.

[book2thehead]

Now there's a cause of death I haven't seen before!

[He's laughing about it, though.]

Hopefully you'll find someone to engage you on your level soon enough~

Hmm... There are certainly plenty of monsters around, but I haven't seen or heard of any demons quite like you~!

[itsytitsyspider]

I have heard that is it some people's preferred way to go out.

But hey, if you find yourself lookin' for some cheap easy fun, hit me up Shortcake. I'll take ya out for some drinks~ ♡

Oh hon, I'm one of a kind. Ain't no one like me.

Some what are you? I'm guessin' you're a run of the mill human with how you're talking.

[book2thehead]

I'll be sure to keep that in mind~ ♡

You're right, sadly. I'm just an ordinary human who happened to be fortunate enough to end up in this world of dreams.

[itsytitsyspider]

I'll ya to it~

Then let me ask ya this. If you had the chance, would you rather be something else? Sometimes being a demon isn't all as its cracked up to be. Especially with us sinners. We don't get to choose our forms or powers once we croak.

[book2thehead]

Oh? That's an interesting question.

Compared to all the possibilities that are out there, being a human is certainly the "boring" choice. But I'm perfectly fine with that, to be honest.

Why do you ask? Do you often regret becoming a demon?

[itsytitsyspider]

Are you kidding? Have you seen me? Personally I think its an upgrade from when I was human. People pay big money to come see me~

Though if I were to change one thing, it would be my feet. I.. don't want to talk about 'em.

And maybe more fancy powers... so I don't feel so... powerless?

[book2thehead]

Your feet, huh? I won't pry, but that's certainly an interesting feature to be conscious of.

What other kind of powers would you want?

[itsytitsyspider]

When your profession is your body, its the little things that matter. Only a special few have ever seen my feet~

Hmm... I'm not picky. Just something with a bit more power than my amazing reach and flexibility. Not sure how it is where you are but its the survival of the fittest down where I come from. I would rather not have to rely on no one.

[Or used.]

[book2thehead]

Oho~ I hope they realize just how lucky they are!

It can definitely feel that way where I'm from, depending on one's circumstances. But there's no shame in asking for help when necessary. Not even for someone as strong and independent as yourself~

[itsytitsyspider]

I can count the number of people who have on one hand. And I got three fingers!

[The messages stop briefly as the spider stared at the page before him.]

It ain't that simple. You wouldn't understand unless ya lived it. Not to shock your entire world view or nothing but... Hell ain't pleasant. Even for someone who is 'strong and independent' as myself.

[book2thehead]

I didn't presume it was. Any place calling itself "Hell" is bound to be unpleasant at the very least.

That having been said, you're Hell's Number One Porn Star, isn't that right? Surely you have a fan or two that isn't wholly unpleasant and potentially willing to offer you help if you ever needed it.

[itsytitsyspider]

You seem like a nice kid, Shortcake.

So I'm not going to get into all the nasty little details of my life. It ain't a nice story. Ya gotta buy my memoir for that. I...

[The messages stop for a but as his thought turns to that busy body Charlie and The Hotel. Heh... redemption. ]

I played with fire and I got burnt. Gotta live with it.

[book2thehead]

I'm in the business of ugly stories. But if you're not interested in sharing, I won't pry any further.

[Besides, Angel is clearly already serving a sentence in hell. There isn't any need for Heizou to get all the dirty details. It won't help anyone.]

Sorry, it seems we've gotten into a bit of a downer subject when birthdays are meant to be happy occasions.

[itsytitsyspider]

Are you? Now you've peeked my interest. You got some messy assorted past too?

Eh... Like I said before, today is just like any other day. Even when I was alive my family wasn't the... celebrating type. Sorry, I got into an oversharing mood. I normally don't open up about myself like this. I blame being here for too long makin' me loose lipped.

For the rest you gotta take me out for drinks~

[book2thehead]

Something like that, maybe~ ♡

That's all right, my friend. I don't mind at all. Though hopefully here you also become more accustomed to people wanting to celebrate your birthday with you! And there's nothing wrong with that, you know~

[itsytitsyspider]

Now you're just making me more curious.

Eh... It's odd enough that people want to talk to me here. When I first arrived I wasn't the most... Hm... Lets just say I was more of an annoying ass than I am right now.

[book2thehead]

Whoops~?

I can understand that. Have you made many friends here, then?

[itsytitsyspider]

'Whoops' my perfectly sculpted ass.

[Pause. No. No he has not. Like... one? Two?... fuck. Conceal don't feel.]

Never did have many 'friends' back where I'm from anyways. Most people are looking to get something out of ya.