The Old College Try

[mansbestend]

Sender: Denji
To: Everyone
Subject: i write in the book and people read this???


OK so

I had a genius idea and wanna test sumthin

someone come swing at me. one guy and one girl. kick my ass if you want.

then we go eat or whatever after. i dunno.

Comments

[your_best_friend]

* What exactly are you testing? Magic? Do you want a normal battle or realtime?

[mansbestend]

If I need to be fighting to do my job, or if stuff is busted here in dream world

I'm not up for that secret identity bullshit

[your_best_friend]

* Swear words? Really? Tryhard.

* So where are you? Little old me is mostly new here, but I can help you out with this stuff if need be.

[mansbestend]

So you'll do it? Nice

I can be where the job board is in town in a few minutes

[Text] -> [Action]?

[your_best_friend]

See you there! You can't miss me.

[Flowey's not even gonna say what he looks like.]

actionnnn

[mansbestend]

[That was a weird response, but maybe this person was really remarkable. Or cute. He was hoping for the latter.

But he would be where he said he'd be, having a very long stretch and yawn. Everything in his body language screamed 'tired', right down to the slight bags at his eyes. Someone had been sleeping a bit rough of late. ...Or maybe he was always like that.

Can't miss 'em though, huh...? He'll keep an eye out.]

[your_best_friend]

[Hmm, this must be one of those "sleep is for the weak" people. Nonetheless, Flowey pops up nearby.]

Howdy! Get enough sleep?

[mansbestend]

...Yeah, kinda.

[A beat. He slowly turned. Stared.]

Uh. ...Hi?

[your_best_friend]

[Flowey summons a vine to wave.]

Waiting for someone?

[mansbestend]

[Right, dream world. He scratched his head.]

Yeah... somebody to fight me or hit me or whatever so I can check on stuff. Said they'd be hard to miss, but maybe they're runnin' late.

It's whatever. I got nowhere to be.

[your_best_friend]

Actually, I'm right here.

[See? He's not hard to miss!]

So! Like I asked earlier. Regular battle or realtime?

[mansbestend]

...What does realtime mean, and how does this whole 'talking flower' thing wheel into it?

[He's seen weirder. Smile and nod, Denji. Smile and nod.]

[your_best_friend]

[Flowey basically linefaces. Why do so many humans not know about battle screens?]

I mean... do you want to use the battle screen where we take turns and ACT and FIGHT and SPARE and CHECK and whatnot, or... realtime?

[mansbestend]

...What, like a video game? You can do stuff like that?

Video game mode sounds fun. What do I gotta do?

[your_best_friend]

No, not like video games. Like real life. Monsters fight like this all the time. It's the video games that copied us.

[Flowey is 100% serious right now.]

Anyway, I'll just go ahead and start the battle. Ready?

[mansbestend]

Uh, sure.

[So, what happens? Does he turn into a-]

[your_best_friend]

[Nope. What he might see is a very confusing first for him. Welcome to the battle screen where everyone is black and white!]

This here is a battle! See that little heart of yours around here? That's your SOUL, the very culmination of your being! Usually, you move it around to avoid attacks, but you've said you wanted to be attacked for something. Got things straight so far?

[mansbestend]

[Oh. Ohhh this is weird, what was goin' on...!? Don't mind his SOUL kinda wiggling about a bit. It's split into two colors.

...He knew video games, this would be fine!!]

[your_best_friend]

[Why, yes, that double-colored SOUL is intriguing! Very, VERY intriguing! This is the first time he's ever saw a SOUL like this. But Flowey doesn't allow himself to be distracted right now.]

...I'll take that as a yes! Now... Don't move.

[Suddenly, a thin red box as tall as the movement area with a red exclamation point and a warning sound appears directly over the position of the heart. A vine shoots up and encompasses the entire area of where the warning area was a second later. It's up to Denji if he wants to dodge it or not.]

[mansbestend]

[Don't move? Okay, so what-

He twitched, fight or flight response kicking, but he bore down and took a smack with the vine. This was some old-timey stuff from the last decade for sure, all black and white but with vague splashes of color.]

Shit, you hit hard for a little flower! But okay, I get it... so I pick one of these options and take a turn, right? What's CHECK do...?

[Fuck it, he can take the chance. ACT, then CHECK.]

[your_best_friend]

Golly, taking the initiative to try things out! I like you. Okay! This would normally be the turn I attack you, but first... Did what you want to happen happen?

[mansbestend]

Right, yeah. Lemme see.

[ACT... oh! Pull!! PULL.

A sputter of an engine, then... Nothing. Then music.]

...Fuckin'...! Alright, try hittin' harder!

[your_best_friend]

[Flowey lets the human have two turns in a row, partly because he's trying to help this person do... something.]

Oooookay, buddy! Like last time, don't move!

[Like last time, the warning sound comes up, but lasts only around half the time and would deal more damage.]

[* How much HP does the human have, Flowey wonders...]

1/2

[mansbestend]

[Enjoy your sturdy punching bag, Flowey. Denji is still for the next hit, but is alarmed to feel that next whallop. The fuck!? what's this guy made of?

Uhh, maybe not ask him to go even harder... note to self. Pochita, come on, he's not gonna hurt this plant but he needs to know you're okay.

You... ARE okay... right? Please be okay.

ACT. PULL.

An engine fired. Roared. A familiar pain grew somewhere in that blackness, and then burst.]

2/2

[mansbestend]

HAHAHAH... I KNEW YOU WERE OKAY! HAHAHAHAHAAH!

[The SOUL shuddered, shifted color to a solid orange, and he just felt so... so goddamn good.]

Be glad you're not a bad guy, or I could go for some serious gardening!