fifth entry ⊗ first dream: only in a dream

[flamekthunder]

Sender: Eustace
To: Everyone
Subject: Passive Dream Recording
Warnings: Death makes for a sad ending to an otherwise happy dream (no violent acts but there is a lot of heavy grief)
Notes: A dream depicting glimpses of a lone wolf at various stages of his life and eventually forming his own family until...

It begins with a vast snowy white landscape, so empty and barren save for a few bundles of trees that appear here and there. Atop a barren cliff lays a lone silver gray wolf, its right eye slightly scarred at its brow as if it had been burned, but it's subtle, just barely noticeable under the tufts of fur. As the wolf slowly opens its eyes, the right eye is a little duller compared to the bright blue of the left. But it can see just as well and it tracks the sudden movement below—of other wolves crossing the snowy plains, a few of them playing around and running freely with each other. It seems warmer down there, welcoming...yet the lone wolf remains at his perch, turning his head away as ice forms around him.

Time passes and what was once a barren snowscape has changed, pockets of grass and more trees poking through the snow. The wolf is now on the ground watching the others play around, but while he keeps his distance every so often one approaches to shove its head against his side, as if pushing the wolf to the group. The wolf grumbles, pinning his ears and baring his fangs...but he never attacks. Instead two smaller ones appear, one with blue tinted fur and another and orange red, and it's with their help that the lone wolf moves and is brought into the fold. There other wolves run out to greet him, each with their own distinct markings. The lone wolf still doesn't really participate, but he stays within the group, watching...and slowly his tail sways from one side to the other.

Like stop motion the trees grow, the grass spreads, and the number of wolves grow. The once lone wolf still doesn't really participate with their antics, but he appears calmer and more relaxed. He mostly stays on the edge, but he wanders through to be with the others, even letting the younger ones "tussle" with him. The cliff he once inhabited has turned into a mossy green and he hasn't returned to it in a long while. But when he looks out, there's a new wolf beyond the pack—black, female, with deep red eyes. He's wary at first, but she's welcomed into the fold like everyone else who has come through. When she passes by him, his eyes follow her, the scent of flowers lingering.

Once more time passes and the scenes pass quickly, all focused on the black wolf. Of her bothering the gray wolf and sticking to his side. Of her crying and he comforting her. Of him chasing and cornering her. Of quiet moments of them together. With each one, more snow disappears and the feeling of spring grows with the warm atmosphere, and his voice whispers in the breeze as each snapshot passes through.

Tifa, you are my partner now, and I want you to be there in my future. I told you before... You are the one I chose to be my partner for life. The one I chose to give my heart and soul to. No one else.

Tifa Lockhart.

The two wolves race through the snow, a black and silver blur leaving flowers in their wake.

Will you marry me?

Around their necks are matching necklaces: a metal dog tag and glowing charm, the moon on the black wolf and a star on the gray. They continue into the forest of trees, through a flower field bursting with colors—the sunlight dancing over them as petals swirl around them as the two wolves continue to frolic and play with each other, the remaining ice that had once surrounded the gray wolf completely melted away. Eventually they stop to rest against each other, and as he looks over at his mate, his blue eyes shine in a way they never have before. Soft, gentle, completely in love. Slowly they close, wrapped up in that beautiful bliss...

...And when they open, he finds himself staring at two small pairs of eyes, one red, one blue, their coats a darker gray. The pups' tails wag eagerly in the air as they bark.

Dad!
Yay he's awake!
Play with us!

At first he's confused—

Dad?

Who's dad?? But he hears the soft laugh and as he's shoved over onto the side by the pups, he looks over to see the black wolf sitting nearby with a smile, her red eyes shining in delight. Understanding crashes into him like a tidal wave, and while something in the back of his mind tries to warn him, there's a burst of light, the ground overflowing with flowers as he laughs and plays with the pups. His pups.

His family.

Things go by in a blur. Spending lazy days together, meeting and venturing with the original pack. It seems as if it all could end peacefully like this. ...But then there's a low rumble overhead, dark shadows overtaking the once sunny area. As lightning cracks high overhead as if to shatter the once picturesque sky, the pups whine and hide beneath his legs. It's just a storm and yet there's a chill in the air that causes every single hair to stand on end. One that makes them run, run before the darkness engulfs them, run to their home where they would be safe. But—

Where is she?

—the thought blares through his mind as they dash into the cave and everything goes dark.


Rain falls. It beats on the gray wolf who sits with his head hung low, his once vibrant blue eyes dull and lifeless, tears now ice frozen on his fur. In fact there's no color at all—it's all white, gray, and black. In front of him is the black wolf lying on her side, eyes closed. A dark pool spreads beneath her lifeless body, flecks of red breaking through the monochrome. Her necklace lies in shattered pieces, the beautiful glowing moon crushed, dull. Beside him the pups whine and try to move him, but he doesn't budge. He can't. The weight of loss chains him down—

I failed.
I failed to protect her...

I killed her.

Slowly he falls forward, his head landing lightly just above hers. As the rain turns to the snow, ice crackles and forms around him. At first he still hears the pups, but when he slowly cranes his neck he can see them fade away, disappearing into the ether. Because they were never real to begin with.

They never can be real, a dark voice whispers as the snow continues to slowly bury him. None of this is.

No longer is he a wolf, but Eustace cradling Tifa's lifeless body as it slowly disappears, the snow and ice almost completely covering him as the voice becomes heavier and more oppressive as it continues.

When you wake up, you will forget it all like you did before. When she wakes up she will leave you for another.

A dream. This is all just a dream.

All it ever will be.

[It's there that the dream will cut off as Eustace jolts awake.

Note: there will be some delay before Eustace responds but he'll at least be of...somewhat calm mind if a bit more reticent and giving shorter, curt answers. ]

Comments

[starshower]

[The scent of spring is thick in the air—of dewdrops clinging to the blades of grass in the plains in the early hours of the morning, of flowers beginning to bloom, of the snows melting away so that it might give way to new life. She stands there, alone, looking out to the pack from a distance, watching wishfully, wondering if they would accept her should she greet them. She's been alone for as long as she can remember, never quite finding the place she belongs after losing her own pack. She is wary when she approaches, but the moment that she does, she's accepted as if she were always one of them. The smaller pups leap around and vie for her attention, but it's tied to one—a silver gray wolf who stands at the edge, and their eyes briefly meet.

And then again. And again. Each time they pass, she feels his gaze linger a little longer, and hers does, too.

She begins to notice how he keeps to himself. In spite of all the others encouraging him to join, he sticks to the edges of the pack, even as they move, walking so tall and so proud, but so alone... Until one day, she joins him at his side and never leaves it.

Images flash before her eyes. Of the gray wolf kissing her tears away. Of him running after her through the woods, and no matter how fast she tries to run and hide away, he always catches her and then never lets her out of his sight. She sees that there is still snow on the ground ahead of them, but wherever they run, spring is sure to follow, their paws trails of flowers and spring wherever they touch, like magic.

And somewhere, in the back of all of that, she hears a voice. His voice, and it's speaking not to the wolf, but... to her. To Tifa.

She knows this because they are words that she's kept close to her heart ever since she heard them. They shifted her entire life, turned her world upside-down, and all of it for the better.

"Yes. Yes. Yes. I'll marry you..."

Her head is filled suddenly with the smells of summer—of blooming dandelions as they frolic and tumble through them together, of the wood as they weave through trees, of the cool grass as they search for shade from the sun. Around their necks are their matching tags and charms—the star and the moon, and they shine and glow brilliantly as they rest their heads in the field of star flowers and lilies. She looks over to the gray wolf and, seeing the way he looks back at her, she feels her heart swell with love, but she's much too shy beneath his gaze, and so she closes them.

And when she awakens, she rises to see the two pups leaping and barking over the gray wolf as he sleeps. Dad? They are their pups... and her heart swells with love once more, a little huff escaping her as she watches their tails wag happily when her gray wolf finally opens his eyes. She realizes, in that moment, how much she deeply, fiercely, unconditionally loves him.

But there's something sad that tugs at her heart, too. A truth that she knows deep down but will not breathe life into it by speaking the words.

The rest of their days are a blur. They are filled with happy memories, but it's a clouded haze of memories that never were. Memories of them playing with their pups, carrying them and scolding them, sleeping with them curled up in their fur, riding on their backs, picking them up when they tumble and fall when they run just a little too fast for their little legs. It's hard to think of a time when she was happier than she is now with their little family...

Just as quickly as those pictures appear, they are gone.

A crack of lightning blinds her, and it's as if it splinters their world in two. Where the pack once stood, where her bold, brave silver wolf once was frolicking with their pups, he's gone. All she sees is darkness—black clouds roll through the skies above, and a violent downpour falls over her.

She feels cold... and so weak... It isn't long before she realizes that the darkness that's clouding her vision isn't the storm, but her... as she falls over into the mud. She can feel her fur matting hot against her skin, and blood seeps through to turn the water red as it spills out from beneath her like ink...

There's another flash and suddenly, she's watching from a distance. Watching as the rain continues to fall, as the gray wolf stands over the black wolf's lifeless body. Her moon charm is shattered, its once warm yellow glow snuffed out in death. He lies beside her, her blood staining his brilliant silver coat... The pups are there, nudging him and whining at him to get him to move, but he refuses. He remains at her side.

"I failed to protect her...
I killed her."]

Eustace...

[As rain turns to snow, Tifa finally finds her voice.]

Eustace!

[She calls out to him, but her voice never reaches him. And as snow turns to ice, the image shifts once more.]

Eustace, please. I'm right here! I'm alive, and—

[She chokes on her words with a sob, her newly formed tears freezing to her face, because where the wolves once were, there is Eustace and... Tifa. Her. Her body is lifeless, bloodstained as he cradles it in his arms.

They never can be real. None of this is.]

Stop. Eustace!

[A dream...

She tries and tries to reach him, but when she tries to get up, she feels herself stumble, and the charm at her neck shatters against the ice that's spread across the ground beneath her. And as she brings a trembling hand to clutch the place where it once was, she feels the warm trickle of blood as it falls over the snow.

When you wake up, you will forget it all like you did before. When she wakes up she will leave you for another.]

Please stop...

[A dream. This is all just a dream.

Tifa feels a sudden pull. She's freed from the dream, snatched back into the real world, and seconds after Eustace jolts awake, so too does Tifa with a violent gasp for air as her hand clamours at her chest where that old wound had opened up.]

[flamekthunder]

[He's breathing heavily, his palm pressed against his brow as his eyes remained tightly closed.

What the hell.

What the hell.

Of all the things he could dream, of all the ways it could have gone—

His mind is spinning in completely disarray, ice starting to crackle dangerously behind them on the walls when he finally registers Tifa labored breathing. No—]

Tifa!

[As memories of various dreams assault his mind, he grits his teeth and reaches for her, a hand going to the one at her chest as the other goes to her shoulder. Fear pricks at him—did she see it? Was she...in it? Had the wolf in his dreams not been just his own figment but her instead? No, it can't be—

Yet no matter how overwhelmed he is with his own feelings, seeing Tifa like this makes him push it all aside.]

I'm here—just take deep breaths.

[starshower]

[His voice registers, the sound of her name so firm on his tongue pulls her back down from wherever her head had been spinning. Then, the warmth from his hands on her bare skin are next, the heat spreading in a tingle that awakens her senses. Her hand feels around for the charm, but it isn't there, so instead, she threads her fingers with his when he takes it.

There's no blood, and no scars but the one she already bears, but her heart is still beating wildly in her chest, and her lungs are still crying desperately for air. His voice calms her, and she closes her eyes for a moment, listening to it, letting it sink in, before she blinks them open and looks at him. When she speaks, her voice is broken and edged with a strange mixture of fear and relief.]

... Eustace...

[If anyone should be saying that, it's Tifa.

And without another word, she wraps her arms around him and pulls him into an embrace. He'll feel her heart still racing, her pulse going mad as she tries to steady her breathing, and her hands tremble as her fingers curl into his hair, but what matters is that he's there, where he belongs...]

What...? What happened...?

[flamekthunder]

[He lets out a long exhale as he holds her close, eyes closing as feels her living heart, hear her breaths.]

...It was just a dream.

[A nightmare. The words feel hollow given how they were the same ones the dream ended with, and it had a far more nefarious meaning.]

[starshower]

[Was it just a dream...?

She asks that quietly to herself, listening to his voice, his breath, as she holds him to the warmth of her chest.]

But... it felt so real... All that running, the smell of the flowers... [The blood as it trickled from her throat. How cold and wet the rain felt against the fur.] It was like I was there...

[Like she was the wolf.]

[flamekthunder]

[That makes him frown and he pulls back slightly to look at her carefully.]

...Were you there? For me it only felt like any other dream... I wasn't really cognizant of much until after. But if you were dreamwalking... Another shared dream?

[Like the ones they had in the past?]

[starshower]

[Tifa tries to stifle the little noise when he pulls back away from her. She doesn't want him to see her face—the way the ache settles in her eyes when his gaze connects with hers, or the fear that presses her lips together while she still tries to catch her breath and remember that she is here... That what she saw wasn't real.

But she shakes her head and tips it away so that he can't see her face behind the long locks of hair that spill over in front of it.]

I don't know. I don't know how to explain...

[Her hand comes to rest on his leg, and she gives it a light squeeze.]

It was like... I was that wolf. I saw everything she was seeing. Felt everything, too... But I couldn't control what was going on, or what she did. Like I was just there to watch through her eyes as she lived her life with him...

[She peers up at Eustace through her hair and her thick, dark lashes.]

With you...?

[flamekthunder]

[He doesn't like her hiding away...but he doesn't force her and just stares at her, trying to not let the rise of distress get any higher than it already has.

From the sounds of it, she really had been part of his dream. Or at the very least, somehow was able to view it just from a different perspective. If it had only been the first part then it would have been fine, cute even. They could have had a much happier conversation. But if she was part of the last...did she feel the wolf's final moments? What happened in that part?

And at her question, he can only look at her with a slightly pained expression before he finally nods in confirmation.]

...Yes. ...It was us.

[Why they were wolves...he doesn't know. Dreams are like that, he supposes, either symbolic or just pure nonsense.]

[starshower]

[Her mind is still spinning, riddled with a hundred what's and why's and how's, but seeing the pain in his expression and feeling her heart sink right to the bottom of her soul, she wonders where to even start...

One thing at a time, she supposes... They can work their way through this together.

Tifa's fingers search around until they find his and she takes his hand in hers, and she lifts her face, only slightly, as worry flickers across it when she looks at him.]

And the pups...

[Or in this case, their pups...

There's a question that sits on the tip of her tongue, and it pools in her eyes as well. A question she isn't sure she should dare ask, but she asks it anyway.]

... Is there something going on there?

[Something that his subconscious is trying to tell him?]

[flamekthunder]

[His breath catches in his throat as he brings up the pups. Again this could have been more bittersweet than how it feels right now, but now it's just painful. He had accepted this because that's just what it is, but his dream, that nightmare just had to make it more brutal.]

That....

[It's not unusual for him to take some time to gather his thoughts to answer, but it is unusual for him to falter and hesitate so much. For his eyes to be unable to meet hers.

How...how does one broach this??? They joked about it before, albeit very subtly, but this is different. This harsh reminder of reality. So he ends up unable to say anything, any words dying in his throat as he remains tense, still unable to look at her.]

[starshower]

[It is unusual, and when he snaps his gaze away from her, she feels a pang of guilt and an ache in her chest. Hypocritical, of course, for her to feel that way when he does the exact thing she had been doing to him just now, but when Eustace falters like this, it hurts her to see, and her heart wants nothing more than to reach out to him, no matter how afraid she is to let him see that pain.

So, it does. Her hand comes up to his chin, and she gives it a light tap to guide his eyes back to hers.]

Hey...

[She tries to keep the pain out of her voice, but a sob finds its way through the cracks that have started to form in that resilient veneer she's put up.]

It's okay...

[Even if it is a terrifying thought, she wants to know. She wants to talk about the things that he might not even realize have bothered him. No matter what it is, Tifa isn't going to run away or love him any less.]

[flamekthunder]

[He can only look at her for a moment before his eyes close with a trembling sigh, his head tipping forward towards hers so that his bangs hang over his face, creating shadows that obscure his expression.

He doesn't want to voice it.

Doesn't want to hammer in the fact that those words at the end are right: this is all just one happy dream that will one day end.

At the same time, both of them had been working on being more honest and open with each other. As much as he would prefer to just bury this all inside and never speak of it, she's seen it (and later he'll come to know others did as well). He can't hide it from her. And it might even be unfair to her at this point.

So while he still doesn't look at her, he does slowly respond...

...

By pulling back and reaching over to his nightstand, pulling out a small unassuming box from the back of the drawer and holding it between them. He hesitates still before he finally takes off the lid and speaks.]

...This is from back during the Flower Festival, when we were sitting in that tree.

[Inside the box is a faded pink petal, and although it's a little blurry, it has the still image of the two of them together. A smaller figure is standing holding Eustace's hand while a small bundle is in Tifa's arms. It won't take much to figure out what the petal is depicting.

He still remembers so clearly how shocked he had been to see it at the time as it was definitely not something he considered at all. He loved Tifa, yes, but to be thinking of starting a family or anything like that with her? At least consciously he had no such thoughts because why would he? It was still early on in their relationship and while one day he would indeed like to have such a future, like with romance that kind of thing is at the bottom of the pile compared to more present pressing matters. A thought he might have had in passing but not something he thought deeply about.

But now...with his proposal and their desire for a real future with each other, it seems what was once just a passing thought or simple recognition of its existence is starting to creep its way up higher. Even if it would have still been a far future thing, it's something that would have been considered more seriously. A part of that peaceful, beautiful future they could have.

However...]

[starshower]

[She waits, patiently, breathlessly, as he reaches into the drawer of his nightstand to pull out that little box, her gaze flitting between it and his face. Tifa swallows, hard, not quite sure what to expect as he lifts the lid and when he does, she leans in close to peer inside, her fingers gently reaching for the box to hold it. When she sees what's resting at the bottom, her eyes go wide.

A... flower petal?

Her breath hitches in her throat when she sees the image it portrays and, faded as it is, she knows immediately the story that it's trying to tell. She can make out the little bundle in her arms, and a small figure reaching up to take Eustace's hand, and suddenly, everything starts to make more sense as much as it makes little to none at all as her head spins around the idea. She can't seem to take her eyes off it, and she's sure that she's stopped breathing now, gone completely still, but her blood roars in her ears, and her heart feels like it's about to leap right out of her chest.

She recalls then what she had seen in the petals as well... Tifa understood them to be like visions, or windows into one's heart—their deepest desires that they may never have given voice to otherwise, or even realized were there. She had seen, in hers, an image of herself in a long white veil, walking down a flowery aisle towards Eustace standing at an altar, as they sat together atop that tree and those petals fluttered around them.

And this... this is what he had seen? And he had kept it safe in this little box all this time? She can understand why he never told or shown her because if it were Tifa, she might have done the same, but there's still a twinge of sadness and remorse that he had to carry this thought with him on his own for so long...

A beautiful, bittersweet thought of a future that they wish they could have together. But she knows...]

Eustace...

[That façade of hers shatters, as does her heart, into a thousand little pieces around her. Tifa aches for him, longs for a future with him where they could one day imagine themselves in this image. She would be lying if she said she'd never once thought about it, or that it never crossed her mind even in passing, but here is this unsuspecting yet painful reminder of their circumstances...

She doesn't know what to say, and only the smallest of sobs escapes her when her gaze finally reaches his face again, and she can see that same pain reflected back at her in those stunningly blue eyes of his. He's hurting, more than she ever knew he was... and for once in her life, Tifa doesn't know what to say to comfort him.

So, her forehead falls against his in silent comfort as they hold that precious box together between them.]

... Thank you for showing me this.

[It's all she can manage for now, because what else is there to? She can't promise him that it will be all right, or that one day, they could have this. As much as she wants to give him everything, Tifa knows that she can't. This wish of a future they hold so delicately in their hands is just that—a wish, engraved into a single petal from a flower...

Tears spring up in Tifa's eyes at that stark realization, and they trickle into the box, over the silky petal.]

You know... You know that I want this too...

[flamekthunder]

[His chest tightens as the tears fall, knowing she would react this way. It's one of the big reasons why he just kept it to himself, not wanting to upset her. This is definitely not how he ever wanted to touch on this topic. If this place wasn't just a dream world...if they weren't fragments of their original selves...if there wasn't the threat of either of them suddenly disappearing... If if if—it's so frustrating and there's nothing they can do about it.

Overwhelmed with a mix of emotions, he pulls her into a tight embrace, the box slipping out from between them to tumble onto the sheets.]

...I'm sorry.

[Sorry for having her see this, sorry he can't do anything about it, sorry he can't give them what they both want but can't.

There are many different ways to have a family, and he will be more than content, happy even, with whatever kind they form here. Between friends, strangers, even taking in anyone who might need someone to look after them. It's not like he ever had some grand dream about starting one of his own—hell, he never imagined himself getting this far. So to realize that somewhere deep down inside he harbored these kinds of wishes...it's a lot.

And now he's dragged Tifa into it.]

[starshower]

[She's surprised when he pulls her in so suddenly, but her arms immediately take him, wrapping around as she buries her face into his shoulder with quiet sobs. He'll feel the wetness of her heartbreak as the tears fall freely at his apology, as if this is all his fault. Tifa is, without a shred of doubt, happy with where she is now. She is happy with what they have, and his love is more than enough to get her through anything and everything that this world throws at him, but she can feel that little bud of a wish starting to form.

Maybe not now, maybe not even in the next year, but she'd wish for at least the possibility of it, someday, in the distant future...

That feeling that she—the black wolf—had as she watched her pups leap around and play with their father was a feeling unlike anything she's ever experienced. It was an unconditional love so powerful and profound that she never thought possible. The love she feels now never could hold a candle to that singular moment in time... and the worst, most heartbreaking part of it is that those were not her own feelings, but the wolf in that dream...

Even if she was, in some magical way, Tifa.]

Please don't.

[She finally whispers it against his skin.]

Don't be sorry. We never asked for this... You didn't do anything wrong.

[flamekthunder]

I know, but...

[A heavy sigh as he buries his face against her shoulder.]

We've been through this enough already. ...And this isn't how I wanted us to talk about any of this.

[One day—he really would have shown her one day, maybe after the wedding, but not now. Not like this. Not with such an ominous and heavy cloud over it all.

And most of all...he never wanted to make her so upset.]

[starshower]

[The thing she hates most in this world is seeing him this upset. Just when she thought this world has battered and broken him enough, it's almost like it needs to prove that it can do more. Tifa wishes she could say she'd be fine, but as long as she has to watch him like this, she isn't so sure anymore if she will be. She could hold fast against her own turmoil and pain—she has for five years, but having to watch the person she loves suffer through theirs when there isn't much she can do to stop it is a whole other beast that claws at her from the inside. She can't make the dreams go away, or change the way this world works...

All she can do is hold him close and pray that it will be over soon...]

I know. Me too...

[She would have liked to talk about it under happier circumstances too, but... looking at it now, is there any moment when this could have been a happy conversation? If it's something that they wish they could have one day but know they couldn't...

This is just how it's always going to be with them, isn't it?]

We don't have to talk about that right now. Another time...

[flamekthunder]

[The very idea that she might have also wanted to talk about it—he's not sure if it makes him feel better or worse so he just sighs and doesn't respond at first, only absorbing the warmth that she always provides him while also hoping he's offering the same for her.

But after a few moments he speaks again.]

...Let's head out.

[starshower]

[She's okay with sitting here together for as long as they both need. Her heart is still thumping in her chest, and her breaths still tattered despite her best efforts to steady herself, her heart still in pieces around them as she frantically tries to pick herself back up. To put herself back together so that he can lean on her...

But when he speaks, Tifa pulls back, a curious look in her eyes as she scans his face.]

Hm? It's hardly morning. Are you sure?

[Even through the curtains, she can tell that the sun's barely started to come up, but after a moment's deliberation, a warmth settles into her expression. He probably doesn't want to stay here after that. She knows she wouldn't. It feels so dark and so cold in here, with them being the only thing to keep each other warm.]

Where should we go?

[flamekthunder]

Mm... Should we go to the waterfall? We might be able to catch the sunrise on the way.

[Really, anywhere would do, but it really is cold and dark here. And while it may be good to just sit and...wallow in their feelings, he feels suffocated and that old instinct to just leave to collect his thoughts elsewhere is very strong right now. Not to run away, just—a different place. A change of scenery.

He also...may be deliberately trying to get them to leave so their tree doesn't start giving away what's going on here. He still hasn't realized that this dream has been collected into the crystal lanterns, so once he does he'll even want to be away from their home even more for now.]

[starshower]

[Although the room is cold, her hand as it comes to rest against his cheek, thumb tracing an adoring line over it, is as warm as can be, the touch tender and careful, deliberate. She can feel that ache beginning to rise again, that need to wrap herself around him and hold onto him, to anchor herself back in reality and not where she'd been laying in his arms, but maybe that isn't what either of them need right now.

They will need to talk about it, and she would like to once they get there, but for now, she'll smile and swallow it down, and will give him anything in this world that he asks for.]

Okay. Let's go there.

[Their special, secret place.]

We can grab the horses and head out for the day? Want me to pack us anything?

[flamekthunder]

[He briefly thinks it over.]

Some food might be for the best.

[Even if he doesn't have an appetite right now, maybe the small excursion will have work up one as well as clear his mind a bit.]

[starshower]

[There's a pause as she looks him over, the worry in her gaze clear even in the darkness of the room.

Food... She doesn't have much of an appetite either, but if anyone is going to need to eat by the time they get out there, it's him.]

... Just take your time getting up, okay? I can get everything ready for us.

[There's a tentativeness in her movements as she leans in close to him, and presses a tender, brief kiss to his lips.]

Don't worry about it.

[flamekthunder]

[A small, helpless look as he gives a small shake of his head.]

I'll help. ...I prefer to be moving.

[And even she says not to worry about it, it'll still be on his mind.]

[starshower]

[Usually, she would protest. She'd tell him to take it easy, to not push himself. This time, she doesn't. Instead, she mirrors his helpless look with one of her own—a crooked, almost nervous smile, but it disappears when she leans in to press a loving, reassuring kiss to his cheek.]

Okay.

[Tifa's voice carries the weight of her patience, but it's heavy with something else as well. Sadness, dread, and all of her concern being balled up into a lump that's growing in her throat, making it harder for her to keep her voice steady. Slowly, she slips the covers away and slides to the edge of the bed on his side, her eyes resting on him for a moment before they move to the window, peering through the crack in the curtains at the very early hints of sunrise.

And she takes him by the hand to help ease him out of bed with her, the sleepiness still settled in her own bones that it takes her a moment to stand firmly on her own feet, but when they're up, she rests her body against his in a hug.]

I'll start some coffee. Do you wanna pack some fruits? Maybe a few sandwiches for later?